Cullen Design Firm
by mystycblue
Summary: Bella works for Alice at Cullen Design, where she meets Edward Cullen. Edward goes to work for Alice after the loss of his beloved wife Angela. How do you embrace the future, without letting go of the past?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Chapter one- Family Emergency**

----BPOV----

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. I have been working relentlessly on this project for weeks. Still feeling as though I was missing something, I packed up my things and headed for the board room. I took a deep breath, "I can do this," I told myself. "It will go perfectly, just like Alice said."

I stepped into the corporate board room and forced a smile onto my face. My boss was already in her seat at the head of the table. It was a beautiful, long, mahogany table that seated twelve. The room was done up with a contemporary décor and it showed off Mrs. Whitlock's impeccable taste.

"That's why she's the CEO I guess," I thought to myself as I set up my presentation opposite her.

She had built this corporation from nothing and now, it was the biggest design firm in the western half of the country. Her new lingerie line was amazing and the fact that she was only thirty was even more amazing. Alice Whitlock had gone directly into college after high school. After two semesters though, Alice took a chance, took out a loan, left school, and started Cullen Design Firm. She did have a bit of help with that though. Her father helped fund the newborn business. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was the lead surgeon in a big hospital here in Seattle. Her mother, Esme, worked independently through Cullen Design. Esme's specialty was interior design, while Alice focused on clothing and fashion. Actually, most of Mrs. Whitlock's family is involved in her business in some way. Her oldest brother, Emmett, works in the accounting department. He keeps all of her books and bank accounts in order. Emmett had met the love of his life through Cullen Design four years ago. His wife, Rosalie Hale, is our top catalogue model. Rosalie is an exquisite beauty. She is just under six feet tall, with legs that go on forever. She has long, flowing, platinum blonde hair, and a face which rivals that of a Botticelli angel. Her body has the perfect dimensions to fit her height and Emmett was not bad looking himself either. He and Rosalie fit each other perfectly. Emmett is six foot, four inches, and built like a brick wall. The man doesn't have an ounce of fat on hit body though. He is perfectly chiseled and extremely muscular. He has very short, dark brown hair, a very strong jaw line, and gorgeous honey colored eyes. Mrs. Whitlock resembles her brother aside from her petite size. Alice is almost like a pixie, she's so small and fragile looking. She stands at five foot, two inches, with a small, hourglass frame. She has short, spiky, black, hair that is always styled to perfection. Not a single hair out of place. Alice met her husband in her first year of college. He was a photography major, and as the story goes, he liked to take pictures of her on her way to and from her classes. He fell in love with her style first and then with Alice herself. The always impeccable Jasper Whitlock, now the lead photographer for Cullen Design, works magic with a camera.

"I'm ready to begin whenever you are Mrs. Whitlock," I said as I finished setting up.

"Thank you Bella, and as I have told you before, call me Alice, please," she smiled sweetly at me. "The clients should be here shortly."

"Yes, ma'am, I mean, Alice," I blushed.

She was always so nice. Her whole family is that way. Alice had taken a big chance in setting up this presentation. Usually, she would only work this hard to promote her own designs, but Alice thought I showed potential. "You remind me of myself when I was starting out," she had once told me. My design was simple, a summer dress. It was a knee-length, light cotton, sun dress with one strap crossing from the left front to the right back side. There was a wide elastic band that ran under the chest line and the skirt flowed out loosely. Alice said it was daring and bold. Old Navy, the company we were presenting to, had bought a few designs from Alice in the past, and seemed very interested. Alice was convinced that they would love it and want it to go directly into production. I, on the other hand, was more nervous than I'd ever been before.

"you may begin any time, Bella," Alice told me once our clients were settled at the table and we had all been introduced.

My presentation went off without a hitch, and Alice had been right. The execs from Old Navy loved my dress design and they want to put it in their summer catalogues. They promised to send over all the paperwork to seal the deal the next day. After our guests left, Alice and I stayed in the board room, reveling in our success. She grabbed two glasses and a bottle of chardonnay from the bar in the corner. Just as she went to pour our drinks, we were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the phone in the center of the table.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mrs. Whitlock, but there's a call for you," Lauren, the secretary said after Alice hit the speaker button.

"Who is it, Lauren?" she answered.

"Mr. Cullen, ma'am," Lauren said.

Alice snickered a little as she asked "Which Mr. Cullen?"

"Edward, ma'am."

"Oh! Yes, Lauren. Transfer my baby brother here please." Alice was suddenly excited. It had been months since she'd spoken to her long, lost brother.

Edward Cullen was my age, twenty four, and the youngest of the Cullen family. I had never met him before, but had seen him in pictures. He was about six foot two, and lean, but muscular at the same time. He had sandy colored, disheveled hair. All the pictures I had seen showed his hair looking as if he had just woken up. He also had the most gorgeous, piercing, green eyes I had ever seen. Edward was god-like and beautiful, and even though I hadn't met him, I couldn't help wanting him. The only downfall to Mr. Edward Cullen, was that he was happily married and devoted to his wife and infant son. When Alice had first started Cullen Design Firm, Edward worked for her as an intern. He was in college and working toward a teaching degree. From what I've been told, he met his wife, Angela in his intermediate geometry course and it was love at first sight. The dated for a few months, and somehow knew in that little time that they were meant to be with each other forever. They wed after only nine months of dating and lived in a small apartment off campus. Edward continued working for Alice until he and Angela both earned their bachelor's degrees in elementary education. Angela was offered a job at the elementary school in Forks, Washington, where she had grown up and of course Edward followed her, taking a job there the next year. Alice was very upset to have him go, but Edward was always a hopeless romantic. While his family was devoted to their work, Edward was determined to follow his heart. He and Angela had added a new baby to their little family seven months ago, and were living their "happily ever after life" in Forks. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit jealous of Angela Weber-Cullen.

"Hello, Eddie," Alice's voice was tinkling, "I've missed you so. When are you bringing little Jay to meet his Auntie Alice?" she still had the phone on speaker.

"Alice, I don't know. Look, do you know where mom or dad are? Something has happened and I cant get a hold of either of them," his velvet smooth voice sounded very troubled. I had never heard him speak before now.

"Edward," Alice gasped, "What is it? Are you okay? What's wrong?" she was starting to get worked up, throwing worried glances up at me.

I quietly stood up, and walked to the extra phone in the corner of the room. I dialed Esme's extension, not really expecting her to be there.

"This is Mrs. Cullen, how may I help you?" Esme replied sweetly.

"Mrs. Cullen, this is Bella. I think you should come to the board room. Mrs. Whitlock has her brother Edward on the line and he sounds very upset. I think something is wrong and he may need his mother." I explained to her. She agreed without any questions and promised to be right here.

I walked back to the table and Alice looked at me, gratefully. She was just explaining to Edward that their mother would be right there and then he could tell them what was wrong. I sat back down without a sound at the other end of the table and took out my personal calendar. I could tell Alice would be needing a few days off and I needed to rearrange a few things for her to do so. Less than five minutes had passed when Esme hurried into the door and to the table.

"Edward, honey? Are you okay, dear? What's wrong?" she sounded even more worried than Alice.

"Mom," he gasped. Could he be crying?

I stood to leave, not wanting to intrude, but Alice shot me a pleading look and I knew it meant she wanted me to stay. We had a very friendly working relationship and Alice never held back anything from me. Honestly, she probably was the closest thing to a friend I had at work.

"Mom," he paused again, "there's been an accident," he seemed to be choking on the words. "Angela-" he started to say something about his wife, but choked on the words again.

"Honey, is she okay? What happened. Is Jay alright?" Esme, was starting to get frantic.

"Jay is fine, mom. He was with me at home," Edward answered. "And Ang, well, she was coming back from Port Angelos, and it was raining. There was a log truck on the highway behind her," he was gasping a little bit again now. "Mom, it was bad. He was too close and she must have been nervous, she veered a little, thinking he may pass her, but she over corrected, and the car rolled-"

Esme cut him off then. "Oh Edward, is she going to be okay? We can be there as soon as possible if you want us." I was already arranging a car to drive the family from Seattle to Forks if he said yes. All I needed was a pick up time.

"Well, she's in the I.C.U. But they actually want to transport her to Seattle, so you don't need to come down," he paused again. "Is dad working, mom? I need him to be there. I need him to help her mom. I cant do this without her." and then I knew he was crying. I felt so intrusive on this family emergency, but I would do whatever I could to help them. Even if it was just to arrange cars and reschedule meetings.

"We will get him there bro. I promise. Dad will do everything he can for her," Alice finally spoke.

"Alice," he choked on her name, "I don't think she's going to make it. I don't know how to go on-" he couldn't finish the sentence.

"Try not to worry, pack some things for the baby and get up here. Rose will take care of him, I'll call her right now. We'll get through this Eddie," Alice tried to soothe him.

"Thank you," he was sobbing lightly now. "They're arranging the transfer now. I need to call Mrs. Weber back, mom. I'll call you as soon as we get into Seattle. Or-" he sobbed again and then cleared his throat. "Or, if anything changes before then. I love you guys." he said. Without waiting for an answer from his mother or sister, he hung up.

Esme and Alice were both in tears at this point, I wasn't sure either of them could get through a phone call to Emmett or Rosalie. They embraced each other tightly. I picked up the phone and dialed Emmett's number.

"Mr. Cullen, it's Bella," I started. Emmett cut me off.

"Bella Swan, how are you today?" he said cheerfully.

"Oh, um fine, Mr. Cullen, I was calling on behalf of your mother and sister. There is a family emergency, sir. Could you please come to the board room, they are very upset." I didn't want to give him the details. It really wasn't my place.

"Sure, Bella. I'll be right there. Thanks," he answered and abruptly ended the call.

"Thank you, Bella. You have no idea how much it means to my mother and I to have such a loyal assistant," Alice tried to smile at me.

"Of course. That's why I'm here Alice. If there is anything else I can do to help, please, just let me know." I answered back. "I already have the next three days cleared for you, Alice. Just let me know if you'll need longer. Also, the limo is ready and waiting to take you, Emmett, and your mother to the hospital as soon as I give the word."

Emmett walked in just then. "Mom, Alice? What's going on? Bella said there was an emergency."

"Oh Emmett," Esme cried as she embraced her son. He lovingly put his arms around his mother, trying to calm her. "Emmett, Angela was in a terrible accident. Your brother is so worried, honey. They are moving her to dad's hospital to get her better care." Esme, was sobbing now. Emmett still held her tight, rubbing her back lightly.

"I told him Rose would watch the baby, Emmett. Can you call her and warn her please?" Alice said. "I need to try to call dad."

Just then, the phone on the table rang again. I hit the speaker button. "Yes, Lauren? What is it?"

"It's Mr. Edward Cullen again ma'am," Lauren replied.

Esme ran for the phone, tears streaming as she picked it up. "Edward?"

With the phone no longer on speaker, we could only hear one side of the conversation. Esme's face was full of concern as she spoke to her youngest son. It was heartbreaking to watch, and even without hearing his side of the call, Emmett, Alice, and I knew what he was saying to his mother.

"Edward," Esme gasped again, we all listened to her side of the conversation. Alice was already crying on Emmett's shoulder. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry…….yes……of course….yes…..I'll call him right away…..yes, honey. We'll leave as soon as we can get a hold of dad…..ok honey…..I love you too…….bye."

"I'll go rework the arrangements with the limo driver, Mrs. Whitlock." I said. I wanted to give her family a moment to themselves.

"Thank you so much, Bella," Alice sobbed as I left the room. I went to my office and made some calls. It was going to be a long week, and I wanted to do everything I could to help the Cullen's get through it. When they emerged from the board room, I let Alice know there was a car waiting for them in the garage. She thanked me again, and they walked to the elevator without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Chapter Two-The End**

----EPOV----

"I cant believe this," I thought to myself. How had my day turned into this? What had I done to deserve this? And why cant I get a hold of my parents?

I had been home all of fifteen minutes when the phone rang. I was trying to make a bottle for Jay and had to run to answer it. He screamed when I didn't finish his bottle and give it to him.

"What?" I demanded, trying to hear the caller through Jay's screaming. "Where is she? What happened? Damn it, is she okay?" The emergency room nurse's lack of answers to my questions was pushing me further toward the edge. "Yes, I'll be right there. Thank you."

I ended the call, but immediately dialed another number. "Hello? Mrs. Weber?" I said, I was losing control already. "Ang had an accident, she's at the hospital….No, they didn't say….I know. Look, can you watch Jay, I need to get down there. Thanks, I'll be there in two minutes."

I finished the bottle, picked up my son, and headed for the car. I didn't even stop to lock the door. I drove like a mad man to my in-laws house. It wasn't far, but I had no time to waste. My wife, my beautiful Angela was fighting for her life right now. Alone. She needed me and I was desperate to be with her. When I got to the Weber's I jumped out and grabbed Jay as fast as I could. I ran up the walk and through the front door without even knocking. I handed the baby to Mrs. Weber and turned swiftly back for the door.

"I'll call you as soon as I know anything else," I yelled over my shoulder before slamming the door.

I sped as fast as I dared through town to the hospital, slamming my way through the doors once I got there. The young girl at the check in desk looked up at me, concerned.

"Sir, can I help you?" she asked.

"Angela Weber-Cullen? My wife. Where is she?" I panted, out of breath from running from the car.

"They just moved her to the intensive care unit Mr. Cullen. I can take you to the I.C.U. waiting room, but you wont be able to go back yet," the little girl said.

"Whatever, let's go," I almost growled at her. She took me back to the I.C.U. and to another desk.

"This is Mr. Cullen," she said to the man at the desk.

"Oh. Yes, Mr. Cullen, if you'll have a seat, I'll go let the doctor know you're here," he said to me and then walked away. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand waiting. "Fuck," I whispered under my breath. Just then a man in scrubs walked out into the waiting room and toward me. I tensed immediately, expecting the worst.

"Mr. Cullen?" the doctor asked.

"Yes. My wife?" I couldn't get any more words to come out.

"Angela rolled her car, Mr. Cullen. The officers who came in with her told us there was a log truck on the road behind her. She had moved closer to the edge, they think to let him pass, but then she over corrected the car and it rolled five times. Her seatbelt kept her from being ejected, but she is still pretty beat up," I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Angela has a severe concussion, her right femur is broken, she has four broken ribs, and some internal bleeding." Shit. This is bad.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked severely.

"I really can't make any guarantees, sir. We are going to send her up to Seattle. They have a bigger hospital there and are more-" I cut him off.

"I know, my father is a surgeon there. Look, can I at least see her? Please?" I begged.

"For a few minutes. Let me take you back." he said.

I stepped up to the hospital bed, and looked at my wife. She looked beat to hell. "I cant believe this," I thought again. This cant be happening to me.

"Baby? Can you hear me?" I said quietly. "I'm here now honey."

"I'm sorry, sir. She's pretty heavily sedated right now. She probably wont respond," the doctor told me. "We need to prep her for the move now, Mr. Cullen."

"Yes," I sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I need to call our families," I said, no more than a whisper. "I'll just be outside."

I pulled out my phone and dialed my father's number. No answer. My mother's number. Still no answer. "Shit," I thought. I was going to have to call Alice. "Mrs. Whitlock please," I said when the secretary answered.

"Who may I tell her is calling,?" she said.

"Mr. Cullen. Edward," I replied, my voice sounding dead, even to me.

"Thank you, let me see if I can get her." the girl said.

A few moments later, my sister answered. "Hello, Eddie," Alice said. "I've missed you so. When are you bringing little Jay to meet his Auntie Alice?"

"Alice, I don't know. Look, do you know where mom or dad are? Something has happened and I cant get a hold of either of them," I answered.

"Edward," Alice gasped, "What is it? Are you okay? What's wrong?" I could tell she was starting to get worked up. "Bella is calling mom, Eddie. She'll be here in a minute or two okay."

"Thanks, sis," I replied. I heard my mother enter the room then. Alice must have me on the damn speaker phone.

"Edward, honey? Are you okay, dear? What's wrong?" mom asked.

"Mom," I gasped, almost crying now and paused. "Mom," I started again, "there's been an accident," my voice was tripping over the words. "Angela-" I started again, choking.

"Honey, is she okay? What happened. Is Jay alright?" now mom was starting to get frantic.

"Jay is fine, mom. He was with me at home," I answered. "And Ang, well, she was coming back from Port Angelos, and it was raining. There was a log truck on the highway behind her," I wasn't sure I would get through the words. "Mom, it was bad. He was too close and she must have been nervous, she veered a little, thinking he may pass her, but she over corrected, and the car rolled-"

I was cut off then. "Oh Edward, is she going to be okay? We can be there as soon as possible if you want us."

"Well, she's in the I.C.U. But they actually want to transport her to Seattle, so you don't need to come down," I paused again. "Is dad working, mom? I need him to be there. I need him to help her mom. I cant do this without her." now I was crying. I felt so lost already.

"We will get him there bro. I promise. Dad will do everything he can for her," Alice finally spoke again. I almost thought she had left.

"Alice," I spluttered, "I don't think she's going to make it. I don't know how to go on-" I couldn't even finish the sentence. The thought too inconceivable.

"Try not to worry, pack some things for the baby and get up here. Rose will take care of him, I'll call her right now. We'll get through this Eddie," Alice was trying to calm me down, but it wasn't working at all.

"Thank you," I sobbed lightly now. "They're arranging the transfer now. I need to call Mrs. Weber back, mom. I'll call you as soon as we get into Seattle. Or-" I sobbed again, and then cleared my throat. "Or, if anything changes before then. I love you guys." I didn't even wait for their reply before hanging up.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself before calling my mother-in-law. She had to be going crazy right now. Angela is an only child, parents pride and joy. My beautiful bride. I remembered the first time I saw her like it was yesterday. I had stepped into my intermediate geometry class and just about pummeled into her in my haste not to be late. She looked up at me, startled, and smiled.

"Hi," she whispered. I smiled back, dazzled by her. She was sort of a conventional beauty. Very natural. She wore very little make up, but really, she didn't need any at all. She had a smooth complexion and flawless skin. Shoulder length, black-brown, straight hair spilled down around her collarbones. With that one word greeting, she had me. I was absolutely smitten by her.

"Hey, would you like to sit next to me?" I said, boldly. For some reason, unknown to me, she said yes.

"Mr. Cullen?" the doctor snapped me from my reverie abruptly.

"Yes? Is she ready to go?" I was eager to get Angela to my father.

"Actually," the doctor hesitated. This was it. We weren't going to Seattle. "Mr. Cullen, your wife went into cardiac arrest. We tried to get her back, sir. We've been trying for forty minutes. Mr. Cullen, Angela is still unresponsive. We noticed there is a DNR order in her file, sir."

"Yes," I replied. "There is. I understand. Thank you." a part of me just died. "May I? I'd like to say goodbye."

"Yes sir, of course," he replied and then led me to my wife.

"Oh, god," I was overcome in that moment. "Angela," I cried, "I love you baby. But I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know how to do this without you, love. I'm not sure how to go on," I sank to my knees and cried. Cried like a baby, like Jay. Jay. My seven month old, now motherless son. How could I be a good enough parent to make up for the loss of his mother. This thought brought on another round of tears. I let the grief take me for awhile, but then it was time to call my mother back. To call her mother back. "Oh god," I said again as I stood up. I turned for the door, and stepped out, nodding to the doctor in the hall. He seemed to understand, but he didn't utter a word. I took my phone out again and dialed Alice's office number again.

"Mrs. Whitlock please? It's Edward again," I said, emotionless.

"Edward?" my mother answered breathlessly. I could tell the phone wasn't on speaker this time. I imagined that Alice and probably Emmett were there with my mother. "Edward," mom gasped again when I didn't answer.

"Mom, she's gone," I cried. "She didn't make it mom."

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," she said. She was crying too.

"I need you mom," I sobbed.

"Yes"

"Will you come to Forks? Please, mom?" I begged her. I needed my family. I cant stand the thought of being alone right now.

"Of course,"

"And Alice and Emmett too?" I asked. I felt like a small child in that moment, asking my mom to kiss it better.

"Yes," she said again.

"And dad?" I was still begging.

"I'll call him right away," mom replied.

"Thank you, mom." I was sobbing again now.

"Yes, honey. We'll leave as soon as we can get a hold of dad," my mother was trying to soothe me.

"Mom, hurry. Please?" I was the child again now. I just needed my mom to be here. To try to help make this hurt go away. I knew it wouldn't work. But I still needed her to try.

"Okay honey," she sighed.

"I love you mom," I said through my now thick tears. I couldn't hold it back anymore. My reason for being had just left me. All alone.

"I love you too" my mother told me. She was on the brink too. I could tell. But she was trying to hold it together for me. Trying to be strong when I couldn't be anymore.

I choked out my last word to her, "Bye."

"Bye." she answered. I hung up before she said anything else. I still had another phone call to make. This one was going to be worse. I had to call the Weber's and tell them their pride and joy was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Chapter Three-First Sight**

----BPOV----

"There's been an accident," the angel voice said. Why did his voice crack like that? Angels don't cry, do they? Then I saw his face, hard and beautiful. His green eyes piercing into me, emotionless. I wanted to comfort him, to hold him and try to make the hurt stop somehow. Angels should not look this sad, but he did. With every step I took closer to him, he backed farther and farther away. The heartbreak in his face was excruciating to see but I could not turn away from him. I wanted to help, but he wasn't going to let me.

I startled then, and reached for the lamp. Why am I dreaming of this man I don't even know? I knew I should have left that room when Alice took the call. I felt like an intruder. But Alice needed me, so I stayed. To be honest, I was morbidly curious. After Lauren announced the caller as Edward, I felt a jolt of excitement flow through me. This man I have never met, had only seen in photographs, is deliciously handsome. I have fantasized about him many times before, but never like this. This felt wrong, I didn't want to see him like that.

"Ugh," I groaned. "Might as well get up now." I was going to be very early for work. I was nervous enough about today already.

Alice had taken the rest of the week off after the call came from Edward that Monday. She came back the following week and called me to her office first thing Monday morning. Her expression when I entered the room was still somber, reflecting all the pain she had been in during the last week, but there was something else there too. Hope? Maybe.

"Bella, I have some news to share," she had said, a bit warily.

"What is it Alice?" I asked.

"My brother, Edward, is coming back to work at Cullen Design. He will be working here on our floor," Alice explained.

"Oh? Really. What will he be doing. I thought he was a teacher down in Forks?" I couldn't hide my surprise.

Alice stifled a laugh. "Yes, Edward was a teacher, as was Angela. But he cant bear to go back to that school without her. As much as he hates to leave, he wants to be closer to the family right now," she sighed. "He really isn't dealing with things very well."

"Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry," I replied.

"So, for a change or scenery, he is moving back here to Seattle. I am putting him in charge of Human Resources and training on our floor, it should be an easy enough job for him to do," Alice told me.

"That sounds excellent, Alice. It will be nice to finally meet him," I tried to smile.

"Bella, you know I have the summer catalogue to get out and a lot of work to do with that. I will need you to work directly with Edward. Show him the ropes," she smiled. Alice always had more faith in me than I deserved.

"Of course, Alice. I'll do everything I can to help him adjust," I said.

"Okay, well I'm putting him in the empty office next to yours. Do you think you could order him some office supplies?" Alice asked. "Oh, and I think we'll need to get a new coffee pot in there as well. Actually, you better get him a mini fridge and a microwave. I'm sure he'll be eating in his office a lot, he doesn't really like to go out much."

"I'll get right on it. When should I expect Mr. Cullen to arrive?" I inquired nervously.

"He will be here a week from today, Bella," she answered.

"Okay, I better go start making arrangements then," I said and turned to leave. A wave of excitement was surging through me all of a sudden. I never thought I would even meet Edward, and now, I will more or less be his babysitter. It was a chore that had me nervous, but shivering with excitement at the same time. Surely, this would bring on a whole new kind of fantasies.

"Thanks, Bella. I really appreciate all your help," Alice said. "I always do." Alice has such a lovely smile. This time, when she flashed the smile, it was truly genuine.

I stepped out of the shower and shook free of the memories of last week's conversation. Today was the day. I was finally going to meet Edward. That thought sent a deep chill down my spine. Nervous didn't even cover what I was feeling. I couldn't find a word that would, really.

I had nervousness, excitement, wonder, and fear all rolling together in the pit of my stomach. I stepped into my walk-in closet to find something perfect to wear. After ten minutes of deliberation, I settled on a snug fitting, short sleeved white top paired with a black, mid thigh length skirt. I grabbed a pair of black, strappy, Monolo heels and left the closet. Finally, I was ready for work and I walked out the door, locking it behind me, and to the garage. At times, I wish I hadn't turned down Alice's offer of a personal driver. "Oh well," I thought, climbing into my car. I backed carefully out of the garage and made my way to the coffee shop before heading to the office. I ordered Alice's favorite, half-caff mocha latte, and a French vanilla cappuccino for myself. I wasn't sure what Edward would like, but I wanted to get him something. I decided to get him the same drink as Alice.

I stepped out of the elevator, coffee tray in hand, and walked up the hall to my office. I wanted to stop there a moment before going into the board room. Not able to put it off any longer, I headed up the hall to the board room. Stopping at the door, I took two deep breaths, and then pushed the heavy door open. Alice was seated at the closest end of the table with her back to me. Edward was standing to her left. As I shut the door behind me, he looked up and our eyes locked. His emerald eyes even more dazzling in person. He stood up straight and adjusted his tie before addressing me.

"Hello," he said. "I'm Edward Cullen."

"It's so nice to finally meet you Mr. Cullen. I'm Bella Swan," I replied and reached out to shake his hand. When our hands met, I felt an electric current flow over my skin. I jerked back slightly. "I uh," words were failing me. "I brought you a coffee. I wasn't sure what you would like, so I hope this is okay." I finished this time, and handed him the cup. "Good morning Alice," I turned and gave her the other cup.

"Oh thank you, Bella. Good morning. How was your weekend?" Alice greeted me with a smile.

I almost laughed at the question. Alice knew I wasn't a very social person. I've always been a sort of home body. "It was fine, Alice. Just hung out in my condo mostly," I said taking a drink of my cappuccino. Alice pushed back from the table and stood.

"Any notes for me, Bella?" she asked. I usually went over her weeks plans with her Mondays. "I know I have that meeting at nine, but after that I'm drawing a blank."

"Actually Alice, the meeting is at eight up on the fourteenth floor in the small conference room. You have lunch scheduled with Jasper at eleven. He wants to go over the plans for the catalogue. Then you have a marketing meeting at three." I said looking over my calendar.

"Oh, thanks Bella. What would I do without you?" she laughed. "I'd better go get my things and head up there. Edward, Bella will help you with anything you need, okay."

"Thank you Alice. I'm sure we'll manage without you," Edward answered. "Bella?" he said turning to me.

"Yes Mr. Cullen?" I replied.

"Edward, please Bella. I was wondering, could you show me to my office please? My sister hasn't yet been able to show me where it is." Edward patted his sister on the back as he spoke.

"Of course. Shall we?" I replied starting toward the door. "Alice, good luck with your meeting. I'll see you afterward." With that, we walked out into the hall and I turned to the right. It was only a short distance up the hall to our offices. "This, is my office here," I pointed out, but walked on. "And you, Edward are right next door. Actually, there is an adjoining door between the two offices so if you need anything at all, just say the word."

"Thank you," he said and went into his office, closing the door behind him.

Once alone in my own office, I collapsed into my chair. Meeting Edward was intense. He was obviously trying very hard not to bring his personal life into work. Maybe because I knew the whole story, or it could be the yearning to comfort him, I wasn't sure. I wanted help, but didn't know how and I was afraid to bring it up. How do you talk to a man about his recently deceased wife, without making the situation worse. For hell's sake, its only been two weeks. I remembered that strange power surge between our hands when we touched. I had never felt such a strong pull to another person before. It was intense and a little frightening, but most of all it was exciting. He was beautiful and brooding and sexy. And hurting. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm acting like a thirteen year old girl with her first crush on a boy.

"He just lost his wife," I reminded myself quietly. "Time to let it go." Could it be that easy though? The man I've been fantasizing over for two years, was now a reality. He was here, and real, and even more beautiful than I had imagined. And he would never want me the way I wanted him. "Get it together Bella," I growled.

Just then, there was a low knock on the adjoining door to his office. I sat up straight, cleared my throat and said, "Come in, Edward."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

*Author's note- I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for reading my story. Show me some love, and let me know what ya think.*

**Chapter Four-Starting Over**

----EPOV----

She was standing with her back to me, eight feet ahead. Her hair cascading down over her shoulders. A thin, white, gown clinging to her every curve. She was bare foot and hanging from her ankle, I could just make out the delicate chain of a sliver anklet. Circling her wrists were shiny, silver, bangle, bracelets. Every nerve in my body wanted to circle her in my arms and kiss the soft skin of her neck. To run my hands down the sides of her body and over her hips. I longed to press my hands into her supple breasts. I wanted to feel every inch of her luscious body with my hands. With my mouth. To consume her, be inside of her. Hear her little moans and sighs of pleasure as I made love to her for hours on end.

I called her name. "Angela." she hesitated, but didn't turn to face me. I tried again. "Ang, honey I'm here. It's Edward. Turn around. Angela, please, tell me you can hear me." Still no response. I stepped towards her, closing the gap. I felt a deep shiver in my spine as I reached out to touch her shoulder. Just like she always did, as my hand made contact with her skin, Angela disappeared.

I sat up in bed gasping for air and shuddered. The same dream had consumed me every night for almost two weeks. My mind never free of thoughts about her. Every time I looked at our son, I ached. I knew I needed to try to move on, to be strong for Jay. I just don't know how. My body ached to be back in our little home, sleeping in our bed, smelling her on our sheets. Thoughts like this would get me nowhere. I needed to be good for Jay. To get out of the house, to not be depressed all the time. That was why I accepted the job at Cullen Design. Alice had offered, not thinking I would take her up on it. But I couldn't force myself to walk back into that little school building without her. To be in my class, knowing there was somebody else standing up at the front of hers. Seeing the faces of all the staff and students who adored her almost as much as I did. Sitting alone at our usual table in the staff break room. It was just to much. The Weber's had understood completely when I informed them of my decision to leave. They only asked that I not stay away too long, and that I visit with Jay as often as I could.

So here I was. In a strange bed, inside a strange room, and a strange house. There is no way that I'll be getting back to sleep now. Not after that dream. I would be starting my new job in a matter of hours so I might as well get off to a good start. I was sure Alice and Jasper were still asleep in their room down the hall, so I got up as quietly as I could. I grabbed a towel and stepped into the bathroom next door to my room. When the water was hot, I climbed into the shower, letting it ease my tense muscles. I never realized how tightly spun I was until now. I grabbed the loofah and poured on some soap. Beginning at my toes, I scrubbed every inch, trying to get free from the layer of sweat I had awaken in. Once I was sufficiently clean, I turned off the water, wrapped the towel around my waist and walked out into the hall.

"Hey man," Jasper and I almost collided in the hallway. "First day, hu?"

"Good morning, Jasper," I replied. I really wasn't in the mood for small talk so early. "I'll see you at breakfast."

I walked into my room and closed the door. As a teacher, my wardrobe was mostly casual. Slacks and collared shirts with black tennis shoes. Working for Alice, would be slightly less casual. Did I say slightly less? I should have said marginally less casual. Before I even made it to Seattle, Alice had filled the closet in my room with numerous black garment bags. I was sure they all contained something from the Men's Line at Cullen Design Firm, but hadn't brought myself to unzip even one yet. Hesitating slightly, I grabbed the first one I laid hands on and pulled it from the closet. I unzipped the bag to find a cream colored suit coat with pants to match, a pale blue, button front shirt and a matching tie. I also found a pair of black dress shoes. I had to admit, my sister has impeccable taste.

"Good morning Alice," I said sitting at the table. "When do we leave for the office?"

"Oh, Edward. Good morning," Alice replied. "I usually leave around six-fifteen. But if that's too early for you, you can ride with Jasper. He always takes his own car."

"No, that's fine. I'll go in the limo with you," I answered her. "I don't mind being there early." Alice smiled at me and I tried to return the gesture.

"You know Edward, if it's too soon, the job will still be there when you're ready," she said, seeing right through me. "I don't want you rushing into this, I know it's hard for you."

"I appreciate that Alice, really I do. I just cant sit around here moping all day, I need something normal in my life," I said. "I need to go get Jay up, I'll be back down in a few minutes."

Jay was sitting up, rubbing his eyes when I entered the room. "Good morning, little man," I said picking him up. He smiled big, always so happy to see me in the morning. "Let's get ya dressed, hu." Of course, Alice had a well stocked dresser for Jay as well. Once he was ready, and I had a diaper bag packed for him, we went to meet Alice at the door.

"Ready to go, gentlemen?" Alice asked, taking Jay from me. "Are you ready to go visit with Auntie Rose?" she said to the baby. Rosalie had offered to babysit until I could find a good day care. She said it would be good practice for her. When she didn't elaborate on that statement, Alice and I had taken the hint that she and Emmett were finally ready to expand their family.

After dropping Jay off at Rosalie's house, we headed to the office. It was quiet when we arrived, only a few people had beaten us there. "Let's go up to the board room, Edward. Bella should be here shortly and we always go over my schedule for the week on Monday mornings."

I followed her from the elevator, up the hall, vaguely remembering the way. Not much had changed from the time I spent here as an intern in college. I never thought I would walk these halls again, but this had to be easier than going back to the familiar halls that I was so used to now.

"Alice, where is my office?" I asked as we went into the board room. "I could just go there now. I hate to interrupt your normal routine." Alice sat down at the table, her back facing the door.

"Oh nonsense. Besides, I want to introduce you to Bella when she gets here. I just know you'll like her. You'll be working very closely with her, until you get the hang of things. Her office adjoins yours." Alice rambled on.

Almost as soon as Alice finished speaking, I heard the knob on the door turn. It opened and I heard someone enter quietly. I turned when I heard the click of the door shutting and my eyes locked on the deepest, most expressive set of chocolate, brown eyes I had ever seen. I stood up strait and adjusted my tie before speaking.

"Hello. I'm Edward Cullen." I said.

"It's so nice to finally meet you Mr. Cullen. I'm Bella Swan," she replied as she reached out to shake my hand. When my hand touched the soft skin of hers, I felt electricity. A shock wave went through my whole body. She jerked her hand back. "I uh," she stumbled over her words, "I brought you a coffee. I wasn't sure what you would like, so I hope this is okay." She handed me a warm cup of coffee. I drank from the cup silently as the ladies made small talk. I was impressed, the coffee was very good.

Alice got up from the table after they finished going over her schedule and turned to me. "Edward," she said, "Bella will help you with anything you need, okay."

"Thank you Alice. I'm sure we'll manage without you," I answered. "Bella?" I turned to her.

"Yes Mr. Cullen?" she replied.

"Edward, please Bella. I was wondering, could you show me to my office please? My sister hasn't yet been able to show me where it is." I said patting Alice on the back.

"Of course. Shall we?" Bella replied starting toward the door. "Alice, good luck with your meeting. I'll see you afterward." We walked out into the hall and the short distance up the hall to our offices. "This, is my office here," she pointed out, but walked on. "And you, Edward are right next door. Actually, there is an adjoining door between the two offices so if you need anything at all, just say the word."

"Thank you," I said and went into my office. Trying not to be rude, I closed the door behind me.

I looked around my new office. It had been stocked with more office supplies than I would have thought necessary. There was also a small refrigerator, microwave, toaster, and a coffee pot. It was almost like a small apartment.

"I hope Alice wasn't expecting me to work a lot of overtime hours," I murmured to myself.

I sat in the cushioned desk chair and turned on the laptop computer that was there. My mind was full of a thousand different images. Angela, Jay, more Angela, and for some reason, Bella Swan. Those brown eyes, mesmerizing and beautiful. Deep and full of secrets. I wanted to know those secrets. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to be in mourning over my wife. Yet, here I am thinking about this other woman. Bella is strikingly beautiful. A little bit shorter than Angela had been, but leaner. Her hair was almost the same shade of brown as her eyes, but waist length.

"Fuck," I muttered. What the hell? Why am I comparing this girl I barely know to my lovely, beautiful, wonderful wife. This Bella, has nothing on my Angela. "Ugh!" I groaned. I have to get this out of my mind. I'll never be able to work with this woman if I cant get my head together now. I pushed back from the desk, got up and walked to the door that lead to her office.

"Deep breaths, Edward. You can do this," I reassured myself. I took two deep breaths and then knocked on her door. Through the door, I heard Bella clear her throat, and then she spoke.

"Come in Edward," she said.

I opened the door and peeked in to see her sitting at her desk. After a couple more deep breaths, I spoke. "I'm really not sure what it is I should be doing here, Bella. Do you think you could help me out?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

*Author's note- Just wanted to try to alleviate a few worries. Yes, Edward obviously finds Bella attractive. But I know he's still hurting, and I promise I wont push him into anything that he isn't ready for yet.

No title for this chapter yet, I cant think of anything that fits right.

~Thanks for the reviews!! They're very encouraging. I'm glad you guys are liking it so far.~

**Chapter Five-**

---BPOV---

Edward peeked through the door, looking a little like a lost child. He had kind of a clueless look on his face. He took a few deep breaths and then spoke to me. "I'm really not sure what it is I should be doing here, Bella. Do you think you could help me out?"

"Oh, yeah. What is it you need?" I asked.

"Well, is there a list or something I should be following. Alice really never explained what I would be doing," he said. "I sort of got the feeling she only invented this position so I had something easy to do, that would keep me close to her." Edward forced a laugh.

"That's Alice," I smiled. "From what I understand, you are to be in charge of the hiring, interviewing, and training of new employees. Things of that nature."

"Okay, well," he sighed, "Do I have any interviews scheduled for this week. I guess I'd like to go over the resumes."

"There are a few, but not until the end of the week. I didn't want to overwhelm you on the first day," I answered. "How about I come show you where I put everything in your office. Then you can decide if you want to keep it as is, or rearrange," I suggested.

I was already halfway to the door when he answered me. "Sure. Thanks."

We went into his office and I looked around, deciding where to start first. I decided to just start in the closest corner and work around the room that way. To the right of the door, along the wall between our offices, was the "break type" area and supplies. I showed him where I had stashed the coffee filters and a few condiments and some disposable silverware and plates.

"Alice figured you wouldn't be going out for lunch much. She wanted you to have everything you might need," I explained.

"I see. Looks like I'll be set for a few weeks," he chuckled. "Well, maybe a few months."

"Alice does tend to go overboard a little," I laughed back. "She means well though."

"Yes, true." he said. "Shall we move on?"

The next wall had the door to the hall in the center. On either side, were waist high bookshelves. I explained that the first one contained all of our procedural manuals, a rule and regulations book, and employee standards manuals.

"I am fairly certain that in the procedure book , there is an interview guide. That should help you out quite a bit," I said. "Actually, there's probably a lot in there that could help you."

"Excellent, I'll have to go over them this afternoon," he replied.

The other shelf was just full of extra supplies. Note pads, post its, pens, file folders. There was even extra ink cartridges and an imaging drum for his printer.

"Do I control the supplies too?" he said skeptically.

"Um, no," I sighed. "Edward that is all for you."

"Incredible. This is enough supplies for our entire floor," he replied. "My sister is nuts," he shook his head. "Anyway, moving on."

There was a window in the next wall, which his desk sat in front of. I had already filled his bottom drawers with various files. Mostly, I was just happy to free up the space in my own office. Before Edward, Alice and I had sort of split the chores of hiring and such. Neither of us were very fond of it, so Edward coming to work here was a relief for both of us.

"The bottom drawer on the left has all of our current employee files. The bottom right has employee review schedules, orientation schedules, applicant's resumes, and other things like that," I explained. "And that's pretty much it."

"Thank you, Bella," he said. "I should be able to get something done. Could you email me the interview schedule please?"

"Of course. I'll leave you to it then," I answered, walking back to my office. "Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" Edward didn't say anything else, so I left.

I went about my work as usual for the rest of the day. Edward got through it without needing any more help. I had to agree with him on one point. Alice had, without a doubt, created a new job just for him. Finding enough things to keep him busy could prove to be difficult. At any rate, Edward taking a few things off of my plate would in turn, give me more time to work with Alice on some new designs.

Alice called me after she came back from her lunch with Jasper. I was sure that she just wanted to check up on Edward though. "Are you sure he's doing alright, Bella?" she asked. "I just think he's rushing this."

"Alice, I know you're concerned. Really though, he seems fine," I tried, to no avail, reassuring her. "He hasn't come out of his office all day. I think he's just getting a feel for things. Just give him some room to breathe, okay."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I am worrying a bit much, aren't I?" Alice asked.

"It'll be alright. Hey, let's do lunch tomorrow. You can invite Edward if it makes you feel better."

"That sounds good, I'll have to see if he has plans." she said, and then changed the subject. "Well, Marketing Meeting in an hour. I'll see you there," I'd forgotten Alice wanted me to start attending these monthly meetings with her.

"Sure thing, Alice. See you in an hour," I replied.

After the meeting, I tied up everything else for the day and was ready to leave by five. Generally, I try to leave by four, but Mondays are almost always long days. I saw Edward in the hall on the way out. "Good night, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow," I said.

"Good night," he waved as he went back into his own office.

"_I wonder if he'll always be so reclusive." _I thought as I walked to the parking garage. _"He's had a lot to deal with in a short time." _I reminded myself. I got in my car and turned on the radio. Just something to fill the silence, or maybe to end the conversation I was having with myself inside my head. I hummed along with the songs that played, occasionally belting out the lyrics of the ones I liked. It made the thirty minute drive pass a little bit faster. Finally, I turned onto my familiar street and pulled into my driveway, hitting the button for the garage door. I went inside the house and checked my answering machine. No messages, of course. There never are. After that, I walked through the kitchen and out the back door.

Jessica answered the door before I even had the chance to knock on it.

"Hey Bella," she said cheerfully. "I saw you pull in. How was work?"

"Oh same as any other Monday, I guess. Except Alice's brother started today." I said as I sat on her couch.

"Oh. I thought her brother already worked there," Jessica said, a little confused.

"Her older brother Emmett has been there awhile. I meant her younger brother. Edward." I explained. "Remember, I told you. He's the one who just lost his wife. Car wreck. Do you remember any of this?"

"Oh! Yeah, I remember now. Sorry, after chasing these kids around all day, my brain is really fried," she said. Just then, I heard Jessica's husband come in the front door.

"Jess," he called. "Where ya at?

"Right in here, Mike. How was your day?" Jessica got up and greeted her husband. Jessica, Mike, and I had all gone to high school together.

"Hi Bella," he said and sat down next to me. "The girls in bed early or something? It seems too quiet in here."

"No, they're just watching a movie in the back room." Jessica said. "Mia! Maya! Vanessa!" she called. Soon after, the three little girls came running into the room. The first two, identical twins, Mia and Maya, came first. They were four year old twins. A dad's worst nightmare, long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful. Vanessa came toddling after them. She was shorter, younger. A little over two years old. Vanessa had shoulder length, brown, curly hair, and chocolate colored eyes.

"Hi baby," I said when she stopped in front of me with her little hands up in the air. I picked her up, sat her on my lap, and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. "I missed you all day." Vanessa giggled, freed herself from me, and got down to play. "How was she today?" I asked Jessica.

"Oh she was fine. She looked for you for a little bit after she woke up this morning. But then when the girls woke up and she had someone to play with, she was great. Just like any other day." Jess answered smiling. The night before we had come over for a barbeque and the three girls all fell asleep playing in the twin's room, so instead of waking Vanessa, Jessica had suggested letting her spend the night. At first, I was just going to take her home, but Jessica had been right. I would have been bringing her back in eight hours anyway, so it made sense to let her sleep. Jessica runs a day care out of her house during the week and has watched Vanessa since she was an infant.

"Well, I guess we're gonna get home," I said standing up. "Come on Vanessa."

"Bye Nessie," the twins said together. I shot Jessica a glare. She knew I didn't like that nick-name for my daughter, but she just smiled. I picked up Vanessa, said goodbye to Mike, Jess, and the girls, and went home to fix dinner and relax for the rest of the evening.


	6. Chapter 6

****Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.****

_**Author's Note- OH MY GOD! So, I know it's been 3 weeks since I updated last and I am soooo sorry. My baby broke my laptop and it took 3 dang weeks to get the keyboard replaced. But now, thankfully it's all fixed and I can get back to writing. Thanks for sticking by me and waiting patiently. Also thanks to my lovely beta & BFF, I'd be lost without you!! I love you man!!_

**Chapter Six- **

---EPOV---

I hate starting over. More than that, I hate not knowing what I should be doing all day. Teaching was easy. There was always a plan. This job, would be different. I didn't know what to expect, and Alice hadn't been very forthcoming. I knew she meant well, but creating a whole new position just for me?

I had asked for help, and now Bella was in my office, showing me around. She started in one corner and worked her way around the room. I kept shaking my head at all the extra, unnecessary, supplies Alice had stocked my office with. What the hell do I need a year's supply of coffee filters and post-it pads for? Alice had gone above and beyond in trying to make sure I would be comfortable. I am almost certain I could survive in this office without ever leaving, for at least a month.

"Thank you, Bella," I said when she finished the tour. "I should be able to get something done. Could you email me the interview schedule please?"

"Of course. I'll leave you to it then," she answered, walking back to the door. "Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" When I didn't reply, she left.

I started out by going through employee files. I wanted to learn a little about the people here, without having to actually talk to them. Unlike my two siblings, I have never been a very social person. By the time I had made it through all the files, it was after one o'clock.

"_I wonder what Alice stocked the fridge with,"_ I thought to myself as I got up from my desk. I walked across the room and opened the door of the refrigerator. Sure enough, there was bottled water, my favorite soda, yogurt, and all the makings for sandwiches. I opened the little freezer and it was full of different microwavable meals. In the cabinet, there was a loaf of bread, a few different boxes of crackers, and assorted individual bags of chips. I grabbed a chicken fettuccini meal from the freezer and a can of soda and fixed myself lunch. When the microwave dinged, I took my food out and went back to my desk. While I ate, I checked my email. Bella had sent me the schedule I requested this morning. I also had three emails inviting me to lunch.

"Should have checked sooner," I said to myself. My mother, Emmett, and Alice had all offered to take me to lunch today. "Oh, well." I sent a short reply to each of them with my thanks, and some version of "maybe next time." A few seconds later, Emmett replied back.

-**Having a good first day little bro?- **his message said.

I replied back immediately. -**So far, so good.-**

**-I just got off the phone with Rose. She said Jay is an angel.-**

**-He seems to like her- **I replied back.

**-You know, she's putting on more pressure now. Thanks.-**

I laughed at that. **-I thought you were ready. Emmett, its been what, four years. I think you'll be fine. Kids are great, and Rose is a natural.-**

**-Yeah, I guess. So you staying for dinner tonight? Mom and Dad are coming.-**

**-I'll let you know. I'll call you before I leave tonight ok.- **I answered him.

After I finished eating, I signed into my personal email account. I couldn't even remember the last time I checked it. The only thing I ever used it for was my online bill-pay accounts and to email Angela. Subconsciously, I must have know what would be in my inbox. That would explain my not checking it. There were seven random payment confirmations, something from the doctor's office, and an unread email from Angela. It was two weeks old. Angela and I had been emailing each other that Monday afternoon at work. When I opened the email, I scrolled to the bottom, to read the whole conversation from the start.

**-12:45 p.m.- Edward, can you pick up Jay from my parents house after school?**

**-12:47 p.m.- Sure honey. What's up?**

**-12:50 p.m.- I wanted to run to Port Angeles. Is that ok? I'll bring home Italian.**

**-12:54 p.m.- What do you need in Port Angeles?**

**-12:56 p.m.- Just a little something I wanted to pick up. It's kinda for you too. **

**-1:08 p.m.- Oh, so that's how its gonna be? Yes of course I'll pick up Jay. I have thirty-two spelling tests to grade though so I'm gonna be staying here a bit late. **

**-1:24 p.m.- Thanks honey. I'll let my mom know. **

**-2:39 p.m.- Okay love, drive safe. It's pouring rain out there.**

**-2:44 p.m.- I will. I'll talk to you when I get home.**

**-2:50 p.m.- I'll be waiting. Please, be careful. I love you baby.**

The bell was about to ring then, so I had to line up my class and hand out their homework folders. I always walked outside with my kids after school too. When I went back to my desk I grabbed my stack of tests and started grading, without another look at my email. When I finished with the tests, I straitened up my classroom, cleaned the boards, and fed the class bunny. Then I went to pick up the baby and go home to wait for Angela. I had a feeling I knew what it was she was picking up, but I also knew she wanted me to be surprised so I didn't ask her. I had seen the Victoria's Secret catalogue under the bathroom sink that morning with a few earmarked pages.

When I got there to pick up Jay that night, Mrs. Weber was looking for something to feed him for dinner. "It's ok. Angela is bringing home dinner. She should be home anytime," I had told her.

I wanted to beat Angela home so I was rushing a bit. I wanted to have the table all set and a bottle of wine chilling. Angela always brought home Italian when she went to Port Angeles. Usually, we would use our best dishes, drink wine, and eat by candlelight. It wasn't exactly the same as eating out, but it was always sweet. Romantic even. Those were always the nights when we didn't discuss work, or what our families had been up to, or anything else. Those nights were always about just us. I didn't have time set out anything when we got to the house. I hadn't even had time to get a bottle for Jay, who was screaming for one by then. Fifteen minutes after we walked in, I got the call that shattered my world. My whole future abruptly disappeared.

Now two weeks later, here I am sitting at a new desk. My classroom replaced by an office, students replaced by models, and tests and assignments replaced by resumes and employee files. Here I am, sitting with my head in my hands, fresh tears streaming down my face. The hole in my heart burning and aching with a new intensity. With a trembling hand, I scrolled the mouse up to read the last remaining message. The last thing Angela would ever say to me.

**-2:55 p.m.- I'll be careful. I promise. I love you, so much. Oh and Edward, I have some surprising news for you tonight too. Anyway, I'll see you at home. I love you!!**

What could she have wanted to tell me? I groaned at the knowledge that now I would never know. I closed the email and then opened the one from Dr. Carver's office. Since Angela and I had a "no secrecy" order on file they always included both of us on everything. I had to read it through three times to make sure I had it right.

**Dear Mrs. Cullen,**

**We just wanted to inform you that your test results came back positive. Please call the office to make a follow up appointment as soon as possible.**

**Thanks,**

**Dr. Carver**

What test results? When had she even been to the doctors office? And why hadn't she told me? Angela had never kept things from me before. I had to know what it was. I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Hello, Dr. Carver's office. Can I help you?" the receptionist answered.

"Yes, I need to speak to Dr. Carver or her nurse please. This is Edward Cullen."

"Let me see if either of them are available Mr. Cullen. Will you hold please?" she said. Three full minutes passed while I was on hold. "Mr. Cullen?" the receptionist asked when she came back.

"I'm still here," I said.

"Okay, let me transfer you back to Dr. Carver. One moment please."

"Yes, thank you." My wait this time was shorter. Less than a minute.

"Dr. Carver speaking. Can I help you?" the doc answered.

"Yes, this is Edward Cullen. I have a few questions I was hoping you could answer."

"What can I do for you Edward?" Dr Carver said.

"Well, I was just checking my email and saw a message from you. It was sent two weeks ago? It seems Angela had some testing done recently and I was wondering if you could tell me what it was all about." I explained.

"I would have thought your wife would have told you already. She was so excited about it." she answered.

"Well, Angela was in a car accident, that night actually. She didn't make it," I said, fighting to keep my voice even.

"Oh, I hadn't heard. I'm so sorry for your loss Mr. Cullen." she said. After a long pause, she spoke again. "Since you and Angela had a no secrecy order on file, I can tell you those results. Angela was seen in my office the Friday before. She was about nine weeks pregnant." I almost dropped the phone. Hearing my sharp intake of breath, she spoke again. "Once again, I'm very sorry Mr. Cullen. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Why," I gasped. "Why didn't they say something to me at the hospital that night? Why didn't someone tell me?"

"Maybe they thought you already knew. I'm very sorry."

"Thank you," I said. "Goodbye." I didn't wait for a reply before hanging up the phone.

Pregnant? She was pregnant? A rush of emotions flowed through me. Anger, sorrow, grief, pain, more anger. The tears were falling freely again. I couldn't stop them this time, didn't know if I would ever be able to stop them.

I looked at the clock. "_Damn, only three_," I thought. At least another two hours until I could get out of here. I didn't want to be here anymore, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the sanctuary of my office. I sure as hell didn't want to go to dinner at Emmett's. I wasn't even sure I wanted to see Alice, but I had the car ride home with her. It took a while to compose myself again, but by the time I was calm enough to think strait, it was closer to four.

I called Alice's extension, but there was no answer. She must still be in her meeting. So I called Emmett instead.

"This is Emmett," he answered.

"Hey."

"You okay, man. You sound a little rough," Emmett said in a concerned tone.

"No, not really. It's nothing though. Um, anyway, I don't think I'm going to make it for dinner Em. I really would just like to be alone," I said.

"Oh, okay. Hey look. I guess Alice and Jazz are gonna come for a bit. Why don't you go back to Alice's place, take a soak in the hot tub, drink a beer, and try to relax? Alice can bring the baby home after dinner." he offered.

"Actually, that does sound good. I appreciate that bro," I said.

"Okay, I'll let Alice know what's going on," he replied. "I'll have my driver take you home and I'll just ride in the limo with Alice."

"Thanks, Em. Tell mom I'm sorry."

"I will. I'll talk to you later man," Emmett said.

I had one more call to make. I needed to talk to the one person that could always make things better. I needed to talk to my dad.

"Hello Edward," he answered after two rings.

"Dad," my voice wavered. "Dad I just got some news from Angie's doctor."

"Oh? What news son?" he replied, concerned.

"She was pregnant, Dad," I was losing it again. "Her doctor sent us an email two weeks ago. I hadn't checked mine since that day." I was crying again now.

"Son, I'm so sorry" dad tried to comfort me. "Edward," he paused, as if he didn't know what to say.

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath before trying to speak again. "It's okay. I'll be okay. I still have Jay, and you guys. I just wanted to tell you."

"Ed, I think you should talk a little more time for yourself," he replied. "I think maybe Alice was right, son. Take another week or two. She'll understand."

"I'll think about it. Thanks for listening dad. I love you," I said.

"I love you too son. You know I'm always here when you need me. I'll see you tonight at dinner."

"Actually, I'm just going to go home. I need a little time to myself tonight. Alice will bring the baby after dinner. We'll do it another night though."

"Okay Ed. I'll talk to you later. Bye son" he said.

"Bye dad." Even after the short call, I did feel a bit better. My dad was always meant to be a doctor. Even his voice had a healing effect on me.

I waited until a quarter to five and then I called Emmett back. "Emmett, will you call your driver and tell him I'll meet him out front in ten minutes?"

"Sure thing, Ed." Emmett said. "Remember what I said. Relax tonight."

"I will. Thanks again. Thank Rose for me too please." I said. After I hung up, I stepped out into the hall to leave and almost ran into Bella.

"Good night, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow," she said.

"Good night," I waved and then went back into my office to get my jacket.

"_Good night my ass,"_ I thought to myself as I closed the office door. _"There will be nothing good about it."_ Maybe a bit more time off wouldn't be bad after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Author's Note- Thanks again to everyone for sticking around. You all have my love!!

**Chapter Seven**

---BPOV---

Tuesday morning, I woke up to the sound of Vanessa's scream through the baby monitor. I looked at the clock and groaned. Four thirty. "Why is she up so early?" I grumbled to myself as I got out of bed. I walked into the bedroom across the hall and immediately smelled something foul. When I got to the crib, I saw that Vanessa was sitting up, red faced and crying, and covered in vomit.

"Great," I said. "Come here, let's clean you up." When I picked her up, I could feel how hot she was through her pajamas. "Ugh, throwing up and a fever. Nice."

We went into the bathroom and I got her out of her soiled clothes. I ran some lukewarm water into the sink, got a wash cloth and cleaned her up. Vanessa was still crying as I carried her back to her room. I found a onsie and a pair of cotton pajama bottoms and a diaper and got her redressed. Then I got out my thermometer and took her temperature. 103.4. I grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and measured out a dose.

"Here, this will help you feel better," I said and gave her the medicine. "Come on, baby." I picked her up again. I had some phone calls to make but I wanted to make her comfortable first. When we got to the living room I set her on the couch.

"Where blankie?" she asked.

"I'll get it in a bit ok. You need to cool off some first." I replied. "You want a movie on?"

"Fishies!" Vanessa loved just about any cartoon, but lately _Finding Nemo_ was her favorite.

"Okay, here you go. I'm going to get you a drink, stay here." I went to the kitchen, filled her cup with some Pedialyte, and picked up the phone on the way back.

I must have woken her up because Jessica sounded like hell. "Hello," she moaned.

"Jessica, its Bella. I'm sorry to wake you so early," I said.

"Oh, you didn't. I've been up all night. I was going to call you soon anyway. I think I've got some kind of flu." That explained it all.

"Well, Vanessa has it too I think. That's why I was calling. Do your girls have it?"

"Maya was complaining about a tummy ache last night after you left. They're still in bed though. I'll let you know later okay." Jessica yawned loudly into the phone.

I laughed. "You should try to get some sleep. I'll check on you around lunch time okay."

"Thanks Bella. Bye" she yawned again.

"Bye," I said and hung up. I looked over to check on Vanessa and she had fallen asleep again. I sighed with relief.

I needed to call Alice, but I didn't really want to wake her up too. I also didn't want to wait until the last minute. What would I tell her? In the eighteen months I've worked there, I hadn't missed a single day of work. Alice and I were good friends at the office, but we didn't get together outside of work. I had never really been very open about my personal life, and Alice didn't know about Vanessa. I had thought about telling her a hundred times, but was never sure how to bring it up. Now I would have to. I waited half an hour until six and then, dreading her reaction, I called Alice.

"Morning, Bella," she answered cheerily. I didn't even know it was possible for someone to be so cheerful that early in the morning. "How are you?"

I dodged her question and went straight into my explanation. "Alice, I am so sorry for calling you at home so early in the morning. But I wont be able to make it to work today. Something uh, came up."

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do ?" Alice asked concerned.

"I'm fine Alice. Um," I took a deep breath, " my daughter has the stomach flu." I braced myself for the worst.

"Bella, you have a daughter?" she asked, a hint of emotion in her voice. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Alice sounded a little hurt. I should have known she would be.

"Alice I'm sorry. I did try, about a hundred times," I said. "It just never really came up. Will you forgive me?" I knew she would. It's not in her nature to stay upset long.

"Of course, don't be silly." she said. "Bella you have to tell me all about her," Alice said excited. This was more like the Alice I was used to, and I was glad telling her hadn't been as bad as I imagined it would be.

"Um, sure. Her name is Vanessa-" she cut me off.

"Oh, I love that name!"

"Thanks," I laughed. "She's two years old-" I was cut off again.

"Really?" she sighed. "Oh, I bet she's just beautiful. Can I meet her Bella? When she's feeling better I mean."

"Of course, Alice. Maybe we can reschedule the lunch we had planned for today to this weekend or something," I smiled.

"That sounds great!" she exclaimed. "We could have lunch here, I'll invite Rosalie. She just loves babies. It will be like a girl's day."

"Okay, you better invite Esme too though. I don't want her to feel left out," I laughed. "Anyway, I think Vanessa's waking up again. I should go. Thanks, Alice."

"Anytime. Why don't you go ahead and take tomorrow off too. Just to be sure." she offered.

"Will Edward be okay on his own if I'm gone two whole days?" I didn't want him to struggle if he needed help.

"Actually, Edward will be out the rest of the week. He had a rough night last night and we told him he should take a bit more time for himself," Alice explained.

"Oh, well okay then." I said, feeling a bit guilty. "I guess I'll see you on Thursday then."

"I'll call you if I need anything Bella. Don't worry, it'll be fine," Alice read the worry in my voice like a book. "You just make sure your baby is taken care of. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Alice. Thanks again," I said.

"Sure," she laughed. "Bye Bella."

After hanging up, I turned back to Vanessa. She was rubbing her eyes. "You okay baby?"

She looked at me with her little angel's smile and nodded. Then looked back to her movie, which was now half over. I sat there for awhile, just watching her. The amazement on her face, that too cute smile, her little giggle. This little person was my whole world.

When her movie was over, she looked up at me expectantly. "Do you want another show on?" I laughed. This time I just put in a random princess movie off the shelf. "I'm gonna go make you a toast okay. I'll be back in a minute." I just hoped she would be able to keep it down. My weak stomach can only handle so much.

We made it through the morning with only one minor vomit issue. At lunch time, I called Jessica to check on how she was feeling. Unfortunately, both of the twins had woken up feeling ill as well. I reluctantly offered to make them something light for lunch, but to my pleasure, Jess turned me down. I didn't really want to worsen my chances of getting the bug too.

Vanessa had fallen asleep again so I decided to wait on fixing lunch until she woke up. I did have one more phone call to make, but I had put it off all morning.

"Better to just get it over with," I told myself as I dialed the number. A man's voice answered after the third ring. "Hey, it's me," I said. "Did I wake you?"

"No," he said. "I didn't work last night. I told you, I'm on vacation this week."

"Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot," I replied.

"So what's up?" he asked

"I just wanted to let you know that Vanessa is sick today. I thought you'd want to know," I said, bracing myself for the overreaction I knew would come next.

"What! What do you mean she's sick?" Vanessa's dad always panicked over the littlest things. "Is she okay? What does she have?"

"Damn, would you relax?" I answered. "She has the stomach flu. She's fine. "

"I'm coming over," he said.

"Seriously, she's fine. You don't have to-" he cut me off.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Okay, bye." No one could ever say he wasn't a devoted father.

"Bye," he replied and then hung up.

We met in high school. He was a senior while I was a sophomore and we knew a few of the same people. One night, at an after game party some of our mutual friends introduced us and we hit it off right away. We dated for the rest of that year and stayed together until shortly after I turned twenty-one. Our career plans were taking us in different directions, and we were drifting apart. I truly did love him, but if we had stayed together, it wouldn't have worked out anyway. We both knew it. We split on good terms and remained friends. Then, about eight weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant. He was worried, and I was actually excited. I had never really planned to be a mother, but the day I found out I would be, I knew that I was meant to be one. It took a lot of reassuring on my part, but after a few weeks, he relaxed somewhat. He was very supportive the whole time, calling almost every night, going to all the appointments. He asked the doctor more questions than I could even imagine having. The first few months were a little rocky, but we soon developed a good routine. Vanessa spends one night during the week and every other weekend at her fathers house. The only bad thing about him is his tendency to make everything a hundred times bigger than it really is.

As promised, within fifteen minutes, he was knocking on my door. The knock woke up Vanessa so I picked her up and walked to the door. "Someone came to see you," I told her.

When I opened the door to reveal her visitor, Vanessa's face lit up. She put her arms out for him to take her and squealed. "Daddy!" He reached over to take her and kissed her cheek.

"Hi Nessie. Your mommy said you don't feel good," he said to her. "She's hot Bella. Does she have a fever?"

"Yes, and it's time for some more medicine too. Come on in. I was just going to fix us something for lunch. You hungry?"

"Sure, I guess," he said and walked to the living room. I went to get the Tylenol and then met him in there.

I gave her the medicine, changed her diaper, and then refilled her cup. "Are you hungry sweetie?" I asked her.

"No," she sighed.

"Well, I'm going to get you some crackers." She was still shaking her head no when I came back. "Here, try one." I offered. After a few tries, I finally got her to take a bite.

"She really must not feel good. She loves those crackers."

"I know," I said. "But she needs something in her belly. I just hope this stays down better than her toast did this morning."

I made us some sandwiches while he continued coaxing her to eat the crackers. After we finished eating, he got up to leave. "Do you think she'll be feeling better by Thursday?"

"I would think so. I'll let you know how she's feeling tomorrow okay," I answered.

"Okay. Thanks. For letting me know I mean," he said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"I'm taking tomorrow off work too. If you want to come by again you can."

"Okay. Bye Bella," he replied.

"Bye James."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer-SM owns them, I just like to play with them some.**

**Chapter Eight**

---EPOV---

"Ugh," I muttered. "What time is it?" Alice had pulled the blankets off of me to wake me up.

"It's 7:30. Jay is awake. He's downstairs," Alice said cheerfully. How is it possible to be that perky so early? "I changed him, dressed him, and Uncle Jazz is feeding him as we speak."

"Sounds like you have everything under control," I groaned and pulled the blankets back up over my head.

"Edward, I have plans today remember," Alice asked. "I need to go to the store. And Jasper is going to the country club with Dad and Emmett. Maybe you should go with them."

I groaned again and threw off the covers. "No, I'm not much of a golfer," I said running a hand through my disheveled hair. "I think I'll just stay here." Alice shot me a disbelieving look so I added, "I'll stay out of your little 'girl's lunch' party, I promise."

"That's all I ask," she smiled, and turned to leave. When she got to the door, she paused and looked back at me. "Why don't you have a quick shower before you come down, Ed? It might help you wake up."

"Um, okay, yeah. Thanks. I'll be down in a few." I answered.

I stayed in bed for a few minutes before getting up and taking my sister's advice. She was right; a good hot shower always makes me feel better in the morning. I started the shower to let it warm up and then looked in the mirror. "Damn, I look like hell," I said to myself, running both hands through my hair. Generally, I keep it cut shorter, but now it was continually falling into my eyes. "Time for a trim, Cullen." I took my shirt off and as I turned I noticed something else in the mirror. "Damn," I said again. "Time to start hitting the gym again too." My stomach, which used to be pretty firm, has started to look a little…less than firm. I gave up on my deteriorating appearance and got into the shower.

"Finally," Alice said, trying to sound annoyed.

"It's only been twenty minutes, Alice. Your little party is still hours away," I pointed out.

"That may be, but I have shopping to do. I told the girls to be here at one, so I'll have to hurry if I want to be back by noon," she smiled.

"Good luck with that, baby," Jasper spoke from the corner. He was still feeding Jay breakfast.

"Jazz?" I asked. "Did you manage to get any of that cereal into his mouth?"

He looked down at his shirt, which was spattered with baby cereal, and laughed. "Yeah, I think he ate a little bit of it. I think he just likes toying with me."

"Oh, Jazz," Alice said. "He's just a baby. It's not like he's doing it on purpose." She tossed him a wet cloth to clean up with. Jasper tried to feed the baby another bite, but Jay swiped his hand at the spoon before Jasper could even blink. Alice laughed at her cereal covered husband. "On second thought honey, maybe he is."

"Maybe," he agreed and wiped his face off. "So you gonna golf with us, Edward?"

"Actually, I thought I'd go to the store with Alice. I need to pick up a few things," I answered.

"Really?" she asked, turning to me. I nodded and a small smile spread across her lips. "Okay, well clean up Jay and lets go then. I've got to get a move on."

Three and a half hours and eight stores later, Alice and I were heading back to the house. She had gone nuts shopping. Things for herself, things for Jasper, a little baggie of girly stuff for the girls coming over today. A few new toys and some clothes she thought Jay couldn't live without. Even the items I was going to purchase, Alice paid for. Diapers, wipes, formula, shaving cream and razors, everything.

"Alice, you know you don't have to do all this? I do have money," I said.

"Oh, I know. But I wanted to. I just want to help Edward, it's nothing really. I'd do it for anyone." She did have a point. My sister was the most generous person I'd ever known.

"Regardless, you shouldn't have," I replied. "But since I know you can't help it, and that you wont hesitate to do it again, thank you," I said and winked at her. "I love you, sis."

"I love you, too," she said as she parked the car. "Now come on. I still have a lot to do, and Jay needs a nap anyway." She got out of the car and had Jay out of his seat almost before I could unbuckle my seatbelt.

Reluctantly, I grabbed a handful of bags and followed her inside. "You start putting this all away," I said pointing to the pile of bags. "And I'll change Jay and lay him down. Then I'll go get everything else for you, okay."

"Sounds good," she grinned. "Thanks."

Once I had the baby in bed and the car emptied, I met Alice in the kitchen. "Do you need help with anything, or should I go into hiding now?"

Alice laughed, "You don't have to hide out Edward. Mom will want to see you anyway."

"Yeah, probably," I replied. "So what are you making anyway?"

"Oh, just a chicken salad. And maybe some breadsticks. If you want to, you could start grilling the chicken," she answered.

"You're going to make breadsticks?" I asked incredulously. "From scratch? Do you even know how?"

"Don't be silly. I don't have all day. There's some frozen ones in the freezer." She winked at me. "And yes, I do know how, if I wanted to."

I got a good laugh out of that. Alice just doesn't seem much like the 'Betty Crocker' type. She never baked or cooked when we were growing up. Then again, I'd never seen her care for a baby before either, but she is excellent with Jay.

"So, you cooking the chicken now, or waiting for New Year's?" she said, her voice all sassy.

"Outside on the grill," I asked. "Or in here."

"Outside would be good I think," she replied. "Thanks."

I went to the back yard and lit the gas grill. Luckily, they're ready faster than charcoal. Alice would never have enough patience to wait for charcoal to heat up. Once the grill was ready, I threw on the chicken and took a seat on the patio. Before it was time to turn it over, I heard voices from the house.

"Where's Edward," my mother asked.

"Out back, mom. He's cooking the chicken for me," Alice explained.

"How about I set the table out there for you?" mom suggested.

"Sure, mom. Everything is on the little table by the door," Alice said.

"Hi mom," I spoke from my chair, having heard her come outside.

"Edward," she said. "How are you?" Always the worried parent. "I haven't talked to you in days."

"I'm okay, I think," I answered getting up to give her a hug. "It's been a little better the last couple days. I think I'm getting there."

"Oh, that's good dear," she smiled. "I've been so worried about you."

"I'm doing alright. Alice has been great. A very big help," I returned her smile graciously.

At that pointed we were joined by Rosalie. "Where's Jay?" she asked. "I've missed him all week."

"He's napping," I laughed. It felt good to laugh again. "But you'll be the first to know when he's awake," I finished, giving her a light hug.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to check the chicken," I said politely. "If I burn it, Alice will kill me."

Right on cue, Alice came out to join us. "I heard that!" she said.

The girls set the table while I finished the chicken. Alice brought out her little girlie stuff baggies and set them on the table. There were four of them.

"Alice?" I asked. "Who else is coming?"

"Just Bella," she said. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering who the fourth bag was for. Did you make yourself one?" I questioned.

"Oh, no. It's for Vanessa. I thought she might like something too" Alice stated.

"Vanessa?" I said puzzled.

"Oh, I didn't tell you. Sorry, Vanessa is Bella's daughter. She's two." Alice explained.

"Oh, nice. I wouldn't have guessed," I shrugged and removed the chicken from the grill. "In the kitchen, or out here?" I asked.

The doorbell rang just then. "Oh, that's Bella. I'll be right back." She hurried toward the door.

"Alice?" I groaned.

"Sorry, in the kitchen please. Thanks again, bro." she said as she walked away.

"Well ladies," I said to my mom and Rose. "This is my cue to leave. I'll be inside if you need me."

After taking the plate of chicken to the kitchen, I went to the media room. Of course, Alice couldn't just have a regular living room. She had what she called a sitting room, with big over-stuffed recliners and a matching couch and love seat. Then she had the media room, complete with a sectional couch, big screen TV, stereo system, and numerous gaming consoles. I hadn't been much of a gamer before, but Jasper liked to play so I joined him now and then. I turned on the TV and a Nintendo something or other and grabbed a controller. I didn't want to disturb anything Jasper had been playing recently, but I hadn't seen him play this particular game, so I decided it would be safe.

After about an hour of race car madness- which I really wasn't great at- I got up to get some lunch. I would've eaten sooner, but I wanted all the ladies to have their fill first. I fixed myself a big bowl of the chicken salad and then turned to the fridge to search for a drink. I opened the door and bent to look on the bottom shelf. Not finding what I wanted, I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and returned to the fridge. Alice had made a pitcher of tea earlier. I filled the glass with ice and then poured in the tea. I stood upright and took a drink, before shutting the door. Before I could grab the plate, my phone buzzed.

-Having fun with the girls?- The text from Emmett read. I quickly answered back.

-Nope, haven't seen them. Just eating lunch and playing Jasper's racing game.-

I grabbed my lunch in one hand and my phone and drink in the other and headed out of the kitchen. As I reached the doorway to the hall, the phone buzzed again. I stopped, carefully looked at the phone to see it was just Emmett, and just as I was about to take a step…..

"Aahhh," a girl screamed as she walked right into me. Bella, covered in salad and ice tea, just stood there, staring at me in disbelief.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters,, I only like making them bend to my will.**

*Author's note- I just wanted to apologize for the wait. I know my lovely _Muse_ was getting impatient and kept telling me to hurry up. I could only imagine anyone else might be as well (which if you were, it kinda makes me feel good since it means you like my work). But in my defense, I was distracted by hot weather and good literature. I'll try not to get so distracted in the future though J Hope ya'll enjoy this one. Thanks my lovelies!!

**Chapter Nine**

---BPOV---

I stood there, unblinking and mouth gaping, for what seemed like forever. Shock had me frozen and I couldn't will my body to move. Edward gasped, and raced to get towels. The look of terror on his face was suddenly amusing. As I came out of my shock, I couldn't help but laugh at him, hurriedly trying to clean up. He handed me one of the towels and forced a small smile.

"Oh my god," he said. "Bella. I am so sorry." He looked absolutely mortified, which made me laugh even more.

"It's okay," I managed to say in between giggles. I wiped as much of the salad off my shirt as possible, but there wasn't a lot I could do about the tea. Edward was still frantically trying to clean up everything.

"Edward," I smiled as he looked up from the floor.

"Bella I -" he started.

"Edward, it's fine. Really," I knelt down to help him clean the food and ice from the floor. Gently, I placed my hand on top of his, trying to calm him down a little. "Relax," I whispered as his eyes met mine. Dazzling and emerald-like and....Breathtaking?

"Bella!" Alice called. "Are you in -" she paused, seeing the mess. "Oh. What happened?"

"Just a little collision," I laughed. "I didn't see him coming and walked right into him." Alice gave me a horrified look as I stood up.

"Wow," she said. "Bella, you are a mess," she grabbed my hand and pulled gently. "Come on, I'm sure I have something that'll fit you."

I smiled back at Edward as I followed her. He still looked a little shaken, but his face was starting to relax a little.

"So," Alice said casually once we were in her room. "What was that all about?"

"It was nothing," I answered. "I was just going to get some milk for Vanessa. He was stopped there for some reason and I wasn't paying attention. I didn't even see him there." I shrugged out of the tea soaked shirt I had worn as Alice searched the closet.

"I don't think any of my pants will fit you, since your taller than me, they'll be too short," she explained. Then she pulled out a summery patterned halter style sun dress. "How's this?"

"Um, that's fine I guess," I replied taking it from the hanger.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to get it back to you on Monday."

"No worries," she smiled as I put it on. "I never wear it. Besides, it looks better on you anyway."

"Really?" I asked looking down at the dress.

"Of course. Keep it," she said, still smiling. "Now come on. Let's get back outside."

I silently followed Alice out of the room and back down the hall. The mess in the kitchen was gone, and so was Edward. A small part of me had hoped to see him again before the afternoon was over. _Give it up Bella,_ I thought. _The man is still mourning his wife._ I sighed and walked out to the patio.

"Mama," Vanessa said from Rosalie's lap. She held out a pink beaded necklace in one hand and a matching bracelet in the other. "I pwitty!" she exclaimed.

"Very pretty," Rosalie smiled at her, then turned to me. "She was worrying a little when you didn't come back," she explained. "I didn't want her to cry, so I gave her the bag Alice made for her. I hope that's ok."

"It's fine," I laughed taking the seat next to her. "I think you're her new best friend."

Vanessa put the necklace over Rosalie's head and grinned. "Wose pwitty, too."

Rosalie just laughed. "She's such a doll."

"Thanks," I blushed.

A moment later, Vanessa pointed toward the door. "Baby!" she squealed. I turned to see Edward, who had silently come outside to join us, carrying a baby boy. "Baby! Baby!" Vanessa repeated excitedly. Everyone laughed at her excitement now.

"That's Jay," Rosalie told her.

Edward handed his son off to Esme and took a chair across the table. "I'm very sorry about before, Bella."

"It's fine," I laughed remembering his horror stricken face. "Really, no big deal. I've done so much worse without any help at all."

He forced a smile. A crooked little smile that made my heart suddenly flutter erratically. "Your little girl is quite lovely, Bella. What was her name again?" he asked.

I smiled in return. "Thanks," I said. "Her name is Vanessa."

Hearing her name, Vanessa looked away from Rosalie. Her cherubic face all lit up in a smile. "Hi," she said to him, blushing slightly.

"That's Edward," Rose whispered to her.

"O-oh," she said emphasizing the "O," still grinning at him.

"Hello Vanessa," Edward leaned over, took her tiny hand in his own, brought it to his lips, and kissed the back of it. It was like seeing Prince Charming meet the Princess for the first time.

Vanessa giggled, eating up the attention. Edward had a sort of magnetism that drew people to him. I'd heard a few of the girls around the office chatting about him the last few days. Even toddlers are drawn to the man for hell's sake. I wanted to talk to him, felt a pull to do so, but I had no words to say to him. What could we possible have in common?

As if reading my mind somehow, he looked toward me thoughtfully. "Bella?" he asked.

_Oh no, _I thought. _He caught me staring. How embarrassing. _I felt my face flush slightly as I tried to answer casually. "Yeah?"

"I was just wondering," he started. "You see, I plan to go back to work on Monday and Rose can't watch Jay forever. I need to find a daycare and I was wondering if you could recommend a good one."

"Sure," I replied. If he'd noticed my staring, he thankfully didn't bring it up. "My neighbor watches Vanessa during the day. I'm sure she knows other providers as well. I could ask her tonight, if you want me to."

"That would be nice. Thank you," he said, a faint hint of a real smile on his face.

I looked at my watch to see it was much later than I'd intended to stay. My parents were expecting me anytime now to drop off Vanessa. Charlie and Renee had completely embraced the role of grandparents. One weekend a month they liked to keep her over night. Mostly so they could spoil her rotten without me there to say no.

"You ready to go, sweetie?" I asked her. I heard Alice's unspoken objection at the thought of us leaving after only three hours. Turning to her, I added, "My parents are expecting us Alice. I'm sorry to leave so soon. Thank you so much for inviting us though."

"Oh of course. No problem. You know you're always welcome," Alice said. "We should do it this again. It was fun."

"Sure," I smiled. "Anytime." I said giving her a light hug.

Rosalie and Esme were hugging and kissing Vanessa goodbye. Vanessa objected at first, not wanting to leave her new friend. "It's okay," Rose said, wiping a lone tear off of Vanessa's cheek. "I'll see you again soon."

I had to admit, it was quite endearing. Vanessa doesn't usually get that close to people so easily. Maybe it wasn't just Edward with the magnetism. It must be a Cullen thing. After we'd all said goodbye, and I gathered our things, we headed for the car. I could tell Vanessa was still sad as I buckled her in her car seat.

"You want to go see gramma Renee and Papa?" I asked, knowing that would cheer her up.

"Papa?" she asked, smiling now. Worked like a charm.

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled up in front of my parents house. It was a modest little house. Not really old, but not new either. They had bought it when I was six. It was cozy, with three bedrooms, big family room, and a great back yard. The room that had been mine, was now decorated in pinks and purples, stuffed animals and baby dolls. In one corner was a bed my dad had made especially for her. A regular toddler bed wasn't good enough for "Charlie's Angel" as he called her. He had made her a toddler sized canopy bed, fit for the little princess he thought she was. It was hung with sheer, white, gossamer curtains. Vanessa loved her princess bed, and I have to admit, it was beautiful. In another corner was a small round, pink, table with three matching chairs. On top of it was a gorgeous porcelain tea set. I had argued profusely with my mom after she'd bought it for Vanessa's second birthday. It couldn't have been cheap and I was afraid Vanessa would break it. Renee dismissed my arguments, and gave it to her anyway, promising to put it up if Vanessa was going to be alone in the room. In the third corner sat a small, cherry wood vanity set that had actually been mine as a child. Charlie had kept it in good condition over the years, and reupholstered the seat cushion for Vanessa. She didn't really use it, but it just fit so well in her princess room.

"Mom," I called as we walked in. "We're here."

"In the kitchen, Bells" I heard my dad say. I set Vanessa down and she ran toward the kitchen. I could tell when she got there by the squeal of excitement. And it didn't come from her.

"Hi Angel," Charlie said picking her up as I walked into the kitchen. He gave her a big hug and then turned to me. "Hi Bells, we missed you guys."

"We missed you too," I said giving him a hug. "Sorry we're a bit late. We were at Alice's for lunch today."

Renee walked over and took Vanessa from my dad, hugging her. "Oh, how fun," she said. "That's a nice dress Bella. I like it, where'd you buy it at?"

I had almost forgotten about the collision earlier. "Alice gave it to me today. Her brother and I ran into each other in the hall and his lunch spilled all over my clothes."

Charlie just shook his head. It was never a shock to my parents that I could be so clumsy. "You staying for dinner Bells?" he asked.

"No, actually I wanted to run a few errands. And I need to go by Jessica's," I answered. "Besides, I wouldn't want to intrude on you tea party or whatever girlie activity you have planned for the night."

Charlie shot me an disbelieving look, but couldn't hold it. He smiled and said, "How do you know it's a girlie activity? We could be playing monster trucks or something."

"Right dad," I laughed. "You gonna wear the pink feather boa or the blue beaded necklace to the tea party this time?"

"We don't-" he started. "Okay, yeah," he patted me on the back. "What can I say? The kids got me wrapped." It was true, my mom has the pictures to prove it. Charlie was a big pushover when it came to playing with Vanessa. If she wanted him to dress up with her, he was all for it. Although, I cant remember him ever doing that with me. It must be a grandpa thing.

"Well, I'm gonna head out," I said kissing my mom and daughter on their cheeks. "You have fun and be good okay?" I told Vanessa. "I'll be back in time for dinner tomorrow. Love you guys."

"Bye mama," Vanessa said. Renee and Charlie both said good night and were quickly whisked down the hall by Vanessa.

When I got to the car, I took out my phone and dialed Jessica's number. "Hey Jess," I said when she answered.

"Hi Bella. What's up?" Jess replied.

"I just had a question actually. I was at Alice's for lunch today and-" she cut me off then.

"Did you see her sexy brother?" Jessica asked.

"Shut up, Jess," I laughed. "Yes."

"And?" she questioned.

"Ugh. Jess, it's not like that and you know it," I told her. "But actually, he is why I'm calling. He needs to find a day care. You know anyone with an opening?"

"How old is his kid?" she asked.

"Um less than nine months I think. Do you know anyone?" I answered her question and added one of my own.

"No, nobody I know has any baby openings. I could take him on though. I mean, I only have Vanessa. Oh, and Connor. But he's only three nights a week." she offered.

"Really? I thought you didn't want to take on anymore?" I said.

"Yeah. It's not that big a deal. Babies are easier anyway. And the girls are going to be starting preschool soon so they wont be here until after lunch." Jess said. "When is he going back to work?"

"Well he said Monday," I replied. "Is that too short on notice?"

"No. Why don't you call him, see if he's busy tonight. Mike's taking the girls to a movie so it'll be quiet here for awhile. Have him come over for an interview. Then if he wants me to, I'll start keeping the baby Monday." she said.

"Okay," this was easier than I'd thought. I had expected Jess to have to make some calls and stuff. Not to offer to do it herself. "I'll get back to you in a bit then alright?"

"Okay," she laughed. "I'll talk to ya later."

As soon as I hung up with Jessica, I dialed Alice's home phone number. "Hello," a man's voice said. My heart thudded unexpectedly.

"Edward?" I asked. "This is Bella."

"Hi," he answered. "Alice is out with Jasper. I could let her know you called though."

"Oh, no," I laughed nervously. "Actually, I was calling for you. About the day care?"

"Oh? Already, wow." he said. "What did you find out?"

"Jessica, my neighbor, said she didn't know anyone else with any openings."

"Oh, well I'll-" I stopped him mid sentence.

"No, it's okay. She said she would take him herself. Well, if you decide you like her," I said. "She wanted me to see if you were available to come by tonight for a quick interview."

"Interview?" he asked.

"Well, a meeting. However you want to say it." I laughed. "She likes to meet the parents and go over the contract and everything before hand. But she said if you wanted her to, she could start taking him on Monday."

"That's great. What time? I'll have to bring Jay since my sister's out. Would that be okay?" Edward asked.

"Of course. She likes to meet the kids too," I said. "How about an hour from now?"

He agreed and took down the address. I told him I'd meet him in front of the house and introduce them. When I hung up with him, I called Jessica back and told her to expect us in an hour.

The meeting with Jessica went great. Edward was very impressed with her background as a child care provider. They went through the contract and signed it. She told him what to bring over for Jay, and he told her Jay's normal routines. He was smiling, a real, unforced smile, when we walked outside.

The crooked smile on his face, and the way the last hints of sunlight shone in his eyes, were breathtaking. Before I could think to stop myself, I opened my mouth. "Do you want to come inside and have a cup of coffee with me?"


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own them; I just like to play with them. **

*Author's Notes- I wanted to have this chapter out by Monday at the latest. I tried to, I had most of it written and everything. But then I opened up my FaceBook again and let me tell you, that evil little site is addictive!! Once I open it, it sucks me in. Anyway, I finally finished the chapter today, at work no less, and put it forth for (what I hope will be) your enjoyment. As always, I have to thank my beautiful bestie, Muse. You keep me going when I don't want to, you help to make me better every day, and I'd be lost forever without you my love. And last, but certainly not the least, I also have to thank all my lovely followers! You guys rock hard and I love you!

**Chapter Ten**

---EPOV---

_Coffee? Do I want coffee? Not just coffee, but coffee with Bella. Bella, who is my sister's friend. Is that even allowed? And why am I even considering it?_ The one-sided conversation in my head took only a few seconds, but I was sure Bella noticed my hesitation. I was about to turn her down when I remembered a different conversation, one I'd had with Alice.

_"You should go out Edward. Meet some people, make new friends. You can't just stay holed up in the house forever,"_ she'd told me. She was right. In the last three weeks, I'd barely been out the front door. I had a hard time finding any reason to go out though.

It'd been three weeks already. Or only three weeks, depending on how you looked at it.

_Am I ready to be around other people yet? People that I'm not related to. Only one way to know for sure, Cullen._

"Okay. Yeah," I answered, still a bit unsure of myself. "Sounds good." I followed Bella across the yard and to her door.

She smiled back at me over her shoulder. The sun caught in her brown eyes and softened the color somewhat. A person could get lost in the depth of those eyes. I could…

"Come on in," she said softly opening the door. She led me into the living room, "Make yourself at home."

"Thanks," I replied, gaining a little confidence. This isn't so bad. Just two people having coffee and getting to know each other.

Bella walked through the room, straightening little things, picking up a few toys. She walked over to Jay where he sat on the floor in front of me, and handed him a couple of toys. _How thoughtful._

She laughed a little at Jay, playing with the chain links she'd handed him. He was swinging the short chain around and laughing.

"I think all kids like those things," she said. "Vanessa still plays with them a lot."

"He had some before, I think," I answered. "Most of his toys are in storage still. I didn't want to overload Alice's house with all of our things." _Even though I know she wouldn't mind,_ I added in my head.

"Well um," she started. It seemed I wasn't the only nervous one. "I'll just go start the coffee. Be right back."

I took the few minutes she was gone to try to calm my nerves a little. _Shit, it's not like it's a date. It's just coffee with a friend._ I told myself_. Just a friend. A beautiful friend, with gorgeous, deep eyes. _I stopped myself there. I may be mourning a great loss, but I am a man after all. A man would have to be blind not to notice how attractive Bella was. _Or the way her hips swayed, ever so slightly, when she walked. Or the way her lips puckered into a small pout when she was thinking about something... _

Obviously, the trying to clear my head thing wasn't going to work, so I diverted my attention to Jay instead. He was busy making his escape, crawling toward the kitchen door. Bella came back from the kitchen before he made it too far.

"Where you going, little guy?" she said, picking him up. She brought him back over to me. "I can fix that," she said and winked at him. She set him down then went to a closet and pulled out two baby gates. Bella put one up in the hallway and one in the kitchen. "There," she said. "Now you can go play without getting too far away. It's no fun sitting by dad all the time is it?" She took him over to sit by a small basket of toys across the room, and sat down to play with him.

I had to laugh; it was so different being around someone who's so used to kids. Though they're adjusting quickly, my family is pretty rusty in the baby department. While they lavish him with attention, they just didn't know what to expect, not like another parent would. Like Bella obviously does.

She looked up, noticed me watching, and blushed slightly. "What?" she asked self consciously.

"Nothing," I laughed, starting to feel truly comfortable around her. "I was just thinking to myself actually."

"Oh. And what were you thinking?" she asked, smiling now.

"Just that this is nice, being here I mean," I was tripping over my words a little. "What I mean is that its nice being near someone so used to having children around."

"Oh," she sighed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I was really glad when Jessica and Mike bought the house next door. I didn't know anyone else in the neighborhood, so it was nice to have a familiar face around."

"Doesn't your family live here?" I asked her. It was becoming more and more easy to talk to her.

"They do. Vanessa's with them now actually. They like to keep her overnight sometimes," she explained. "It gives me a night to myself, ya know?"

"Yet you're spending it having coffee with a stranger," I teased.

Bella laughed then. "You're not really a stranger though. I mean I always knew about you. Alice talks about you a lot," she said. "It's kinda like having a friend I hadn't met yet."

"That's true," I answered. "I hadn't thought of it that way." The strong smell of the coffee wafted into the room just then. "I think the coffee's done," I said getting up off the couch. I walked to where she sat with Jay and put my hand out to help her up. "Shall we?"

Bella shook her head at me, taking my hand. "And they say chivalry is dead." She said, amused by the gesture.

She pulled herself up before dropping my hand, and in those thirty seconds of contact I could almost feel a current of some sort - a surge of energy between us. It was strangely bizarre, but also pleasurable at the same time.

We each got a cup of coffee and then returned to the living room. This time, Bella sat at the other end of the couch. We chatted about little things, made small talk. Favorite restaurants, movies we liked, books we'd read. Bella was strangely drawn to vampire stories; she had a thing for Anne Rice. Truth be told, I've read a few of Anne's books, and they are pretty good. Then we moved on to things like our first cars and first dates, first jobs, and funny school stories. All the while, Jay entertained himself with different toys. He only fussed a time or two but quickly went back to playing. Before I knew it, we were on our second cups of coffee. Then third…….and fourth. Bella looked up to clock on the wall, a surprised look on her face.

"Damn," she said. "It's almost eight already."

I hadn't even noticed the time fly by. It didn't seem to have been that long already. "Wow," was all I could manage to say. I hadn't spoken to anyone for this long in weeks, not even Alice. It was nice, almost normal even, and I wasn't sure I was ready for it to be over.

"Hey?" she asked. "You hungry? We could order some food."

"Come to think of it," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Someone did throw my lunch all over the floor today."

Bella tossed a throw pillow at my head. "It was an accident!" she shouted.

"I know," I smiled then asked, "What would you like? It's my treat."

"You don't have-" she started to object.

"I know I don't have to, but I'd like to," I said simply.

"But-" she objected again.

"Really, please. I want to," I replied. "You've really done me a favor tonight, Bella. I needed some sense of normalcy, and I enjoy talking to you. Now," I said, handing her my credit card, "Order some pizza or Chinese, or anything you want."

Bella just looked at me, disbelieving for a minute. Then she asked "What does Jay eat?"

"He doesn't have many teeth yet, so something soft, pasta maybe. Usually he eats baby food, but there's none in his bag," I replied.

"Well here," she said tossing me back the credit card and a phone book. "Just order a pizza, I like anything. My address is written in the front cover of that book if you need it. I've got a box of baby cereal and some applesauce in the kitchen, we can feed Jay that. If that's okay, I mean." She sort of just blurted it all out.

I laughed, "That's fine."

"More coffee?" she asked. "Or would you rather have a soda or some water."

"Um, a soda I guess," I answered. I dialed the number, placed the order, and then went the change Jay.

Bella followed me to the kitchen when I went to throw away the diaper. "Here's the cereal," she said, and handed me the box and a small bowl. I mixed the cereal with some applesauce and a little of Jay's formula and then looked around the room. _Bingo!_ I thought, spotting what I was hoping for. There was a high chair in the corner.

"Can I use the high chair?" I asked.

"Go right ahead," Bella said. "I'll go get him."

Bella was back in a minute and put Jay in the high chair. She sat at the table with me as I fed him and we chatted the whole time. She would ask a few questions, and then I'd take my turn. Just as Jay was about done, the doorbell rang.

"Here, let me," she said, taking the spoon from my hand.

I looked at her questioningly.

"They'll want a signature for the credit card."

I nodded and went to get the door.

Bella was washing Jay's face and hands when I got back to the kitchen. He was rubbing his eyes, looking a little tired. Usually he was in bed by now. He fussed a little as she took him from the chair and handed him to me.

"Aw, you're a tired little man, " I said quietly to him. "We'll go soon, and get you home in bed.

"I have a playpen in the back room. You can lay him down if you want while we eat," Bella offered.

Jay's eyelids were already fluttering. I nodded to her. "He's about out as it is."

Bella grabbed the diaper bag and showed me the way to where the playpen was. "Jessica watches a baby a few nights a week and sometimes they come over to watch a movie while Mike puts their girls to bed. Sometimes she stays kinda late so she puts him to bed over here."

"How very convenient," I grinned at her.

Jay was fast asleep before we even walked out of the room. Bella turned on the monitor on the dresser as we walked past.

"Well, it serves the purpose when it needs to," she laughed. "Come on, let's go eat."

When we got to the kitchen, Bella surprised me by picking up the box and walking back toward her living room.

She must have noticed the puzzled look on my face because she said, "It's more comfy in the other room."

"Okay," I laughed. "I'll grab some drinks."

"Want to watch a movie while we eat?" she asked.

I thought about it for a minute before I answered her. _Is it wrong that I want to say yes?_ I thought. _Maybe not wrong, but a little soon. But it's just a movie. It's not like we'd be cuddling on the couch or anything. Just two friends, watching a movie, enjoying each other's company…_

"Okay," I replied. "What do you have?"

"You said you liked comedies, right," she asked.

I nodded.

"Well then, Adam Sandler or Pauly Shore?"

I smiled at her. Some of my favorite movies were either Adam Sandler or Pauly Shore movies. Sure, they may be pretty stupid, but they're also pretty funny. Not exactly classics, but still, they're amusing.

After a bit of thought, I answered, "Sandler."

"Big Daddy?" she asked. It was one of my favorites.

"Put it in," I answered with a grin.

We watched the movie and ate pizza, chatting here and there, while relaxing at either end of her large, sectional couch. About halfway through the movie, I put up the footstool at my end and reclined back, getting more comfortable. Now and then, my eyelids fluttered a little and without even realizing I was that tired, I fell asleep………


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Chapter Eleven**

---BPOV---

A little more than half way through the movie, I looked over to see Edward sleeping peacefully at the other end of the couch. He looked comfortable enough. I was torn though; s_hould I let him sleep, or wake him up so he could go home_?

I stewed over it until the movie was over. As quietly as I could, I got up and turned off the television, then walked to the kitchen. I picked up my cell from the counter and sent a text to Alice.

**-Your brother is over here, in case you were wondering.**

About a minute later I got her reply**. -Really? Hmm, I was wondering where he was. I hadn't heard from him. What're you guys doing?**

**-He came over for coffee after he met Jessica. We talked, ate pizza, and then watched a movie.**

This time her reply came sooner**. -Where's Jay?**

**-He's asleep in my back room. Actually, they're both asleep.**

The next sound from my phone wasn't the text alert. Alice was calling. "Hey," I answered quietly.

"Edward is sleeping?" she asked. "Where?"

"He's kicked back on the couch. He looks really relaxed. Should I wake him up?" I said.

"Um …" Alice's tone was unsure, "Honestly, if he's relaxed enough to fall asleep over there then just let him sleep. He hasn't been sleeping well at all lately." She concluded. "How you got him to relax is my question. I've been trying to get him to loosen up since he got here."

"We just talked. Got to know each other a little, I guess," I answered truthfully.

"I just," she stammered. Alice didn't usually have trouble with words. "It's like you're talking about the old Edward, ya know. He's not really himself anymore. I've been-" she paused for a few seconds. 'We've all been trying to get him to open up. He just won't really talk to any of us though." Alice sounded almost relieved.

"He mentioned that earlier. He seems fine though, I think," I said. "A little nervous at first, withdrawn at times maybe, but really, we just talked like we were old friends or something."

"Thank you Bella," Alice said in a muffled voice.

_Was she crying_?

"This is really good for him. He needs someone who understands him a little, and it seems like none of us can really relate to him right now."

I smiled a little. I do relate to a part of him. The single parent thing is not something you get used to overnight. "Well, I'm glad I can help. He's a really nice guy, who's had a really bad month. It'll get easier for him though," I said reassuringly. "He just needs his family to be there for him."

"He needs his friends too, Bella. I think right now, that's you," she answered.

"If that's what he wants, then I'll be here if he needs me," I said.

She thanked me again and said goodbye. It was late and I was tired so I went and grabbed an extra blanket and pillow from the linen closet and took it out to the living room. Edward hadn't moved a muscle. I laid the pillow on the couch beside him and then gently draped the blanket over him. He stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. I turned to grab the baby monitor off the end table and heard him moan softly. _He must be dreaming._ When I looked back, he was licking his lips. _Soft, full, luscious, lips....._

I opened the door of the back room and looked in on Jay. He was lying on his belly with his arms folded under him and his knees tucked up; his little bum was sticking up in the air. It was so cute. Vanessa used to sleep like that sometimes too. I smiled and pulled the door closed again and went across the hall to my bedroom.

After lying in bed for a few minutes, I thought I should get up and leave a note on the end table for Edward. I didn't want him to panic if he woke up before morning. Turning on the bedside lamp, I leaned over and grabbed a notepad from the top drawer of the nightstand and a pen.

_-__**Edward,**_

_**I thought you could use a good night's sleep so I didn't wake you. Jay's fine, I've got the monitor back here in case he wakes up. See you in the morning.**_

_**-Bella**_

As quietly as I could, I walked back out to the living room and set the note on the table next to him. He wore a faint hint of that crooked smile of his on his face. I almost wished I could know what he was dreaming about. I stood there watching him for a few minutes, then went back to bed.

I lay there for awhile, trying not to think about the man sleeping on my couch. It was quite a strain, really. _The crooked smile and luscious lips. The dazzling green of his eyes, blazing at me. The rough stubble along his sexy, defined, jaw....._

Yeah, strain was an understatement. Hard as I tried, my thoughts lingered on Edward. I tossed and turned and scolded myself mentally for what seemed like hours. I heard the baby whine in his sleep a few times, but aside from that the only noise I could hear was my own breathing. _Maybe that's my problem._ Silence and I had never been very good friends. After turning the radio on, I lay back down and tried to focus my thoughts on the song lyrics instead of Edward. Eventually, it must have worked.

Just before sunrise, I was awakened by the sounds of a baby crying. It took me a minute to realize that it was Jay crying in the other room. When I walked in, he was sitting up in the playpen rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning little guy," I said as I picked him up.

His clothes were a little damp so I searched his diaper bag for something to change him into. After he was all changed and dry, I picked him and the bag up and headed up the hall. Edward was still asleep, though he had moved. He'd closed up the recliner in the seat and lay down across the length of the couch. Jay pointed at his dad and whimpered slightly.

"Let's let him sleep a little longer," I said, hurrying into the kitchen so as not to disturb Edward.

I put Jay into the high chair and made him a bottle. While he drank his formula, I gathered ingredients for pancakes and pulled a package of sausage links out of the freezer. Within about twenty minutes, I had everything cooking, and the house was filling with delicious breakfast scents. I was standing at the stove finishing up my homemade maple syrup when the sound of chair legs scraping the floor startled me.

I whirled around to see Edward sitting next to Jay. His hair was tousled and sticking up in places. "Good morning," he said. "What's all this?" he pointed to the food cooking.

"Oh, I thought breakfast would be nice. And I wanted to let you sleep a little longer," I answered sheepishly. "You looked like you could use a few more hours."

He gave a throaty laugh. "I probably could. I actually slept very well, I'm surprised. Why didn't you wake me up though? I didn't want to impose."

"It wasn't an imposition, really. I let Alice know you were here so she wouldn't worry. She said you hadn't been sleeping well," I replied. I didn't know what else to say.

"Well," he said. "Thank you, Bella. It's very kind of you."

"That's what friends are for," I smiled at him. When he returned the gesture, I knew that's what we were now.

"Can I help with anything," Edward asked.

"Nope, I'm just about done. What would you like to drink; I have orange juice or milk." I said.

"The juice sounds good," he answered politely.

I got our drinks, as well as plates and silverware, and set them on the table. While we ate, we chatted, much like the previous night. It seemed to come almost easily now. There wasn't as much nervousness or awkwardness, we were just two friends, eating breakfast together.

"Can I help you with the dishes?" Edward asked when we had finished.

"No, that's ok. I'll take care of them after awhile," I replied. "Feel like watching another movie?" I, for one, wasn't in any hurry for him to leave.

He thought about it for a minute then said, "What the hell? I really had no plans today anyway," he paused a moment, then continued. "I'm not keeping you from anything though, am I?"

I laughed at his worried expression. "I have no plans really. I have to run to the store before I go to my parents for dinner, but that's not until this evening."

Out in the living room, Edward went to the movie shelf and I sat down on the couch. "What sounds good?" he asked.

"Surprise me," I answered. I'd watched everything on that shelf more times than I could count.

"Okay," he said, grabbing a movie.

I couldn't tell, from where I sat, what he'd put in. Edward handed me the remote and then sat down on the couch. Not at the opposite end like last night, but not really next to me either. The odd sort of current I'd felt before was there, not as strongly, but definitely there. I'd never felt that sort of pull toward another person before. I wanted very much to close the space between us. To sit next to him, to take his hand in my own, to caress his beautiful face.

_Too soon, Bella! It's only been three weeks. He's just a friend. _I tried to banish the thoughts in my head. _Just a friend… just a friend…just a friend. _

His velvety voice brought me back to reality a moment later. "Is something wrong?"

"Um, no," I stammered. "I'm fine. Sorry." I forced a smile before looking to the television screen. When I saw the menu screen of one of my favorite movies, I looked back to him, confused.

"I thought you didn't like chick movies?" I asked. He'd put in 50 First Dates, with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

"You do though. Besides," he shrugged, "This is a comedy."


	12. Chapter 12

*Disclaimer- They're not mine, but this story is.

**Author's Notes- Wow, so this one took awhile. But after moving, and a week with no laptop (AAAHHHH), and kids going back to school, and all that jazz, I finally made it here. I want to thank my unofficial beta & BFF, _Muse_, for kicking my ass into gear. I definitely needed it this time. Just as an FYI, from here on out, I'm going to make each chapter longer. YAY!! Each chapter will have Edward's POV & Bella's POV all in one chapter. Okay, well enough of my babbling. Read on, and then leave me some love.

**Chapter Twelve**

---EPOV---

"Edward?" I heard Alice call from the living room when I came in the front door at home. "Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?" I said. "I'm gonna go lay Jay down for a nap, then you can start the questioning." I laughed when I heard her little huff.

Once Jay was changed and in bed, I went to my room to change as well. I hadn't really intended to stay at Bella's the night before. I wouldn't take it back though. It was nice to have someone to talk to. Alice and my mother were constantly trying to get me to talk, and for some reason I just never really had a lot to say. Talking to Bella though, it almost reminded me of the nights I'd stayed up talking to Angela on the phone after we met.

_Angela._

_My angel._ _My love. _

The thought of comparing Bella to Angela sent a shock of pain through my heart. They are alike in ways though: both caring, and sweet, and beautiful. But I'd promised my life and my future to Angela. How could I take back that promise?

_You're not taking anything back, _I reassured myself_. Bella is just a friend. It's not like you're dating her. Friends watch movies together all the time._

I changed my clothes, trying to clear Bella from my mind. But then another thought hit me.

_What if she thinks it's more? What if she wants it to be more … ugh! You're over thinking it Cullen._

"Alright," I groaned as I flopped down into an armchair five minutes later. "Let me have it Alice."

She almost laughed. "So," she mused.

"So?"

"So, what's the story Edward?" she finally asked.

"There's nothing to tell, Alice," I answered. "It was all completely innocent. We drank coffee, ate pizza, and watched a movie. End of story."

"No, not end of story. You left out the part where you spent the night with her," Alice replied.

"It's not like that," I said defensively. "I fell asleep on the couch. She went to her room."

"Edward, I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with where thi-" I didn't give her the chance to finish her statement. I knew what she was going to say.

"Alice," I replied. "You have nothing to worry about. Bella and I are just friends. Strictly platonic. You know I'm not ready for anything more than that."

"I just don't want you getting hurt Ed," she said. "And Bella has a very promising career ahead of her. I don't want to lose her."

"Are you serious?" I was getting a little irritated with my favorite sibling. "For one, Alice who I chose to befriend here is none of your concern really. You wanted me to make new friends remember? Two, that's all Bella is to me. A friend who understands a little bit of what I've been through. And three," I paused when I noticed Alice shrinking away from me slightly. "Three, I'm sorry if it worried you when I didn't come home."

She threw a pillow at me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be questioning you anyway."

"You're right, you shouldn't.," I said throwing the pillow back at her. "You're forgiven though."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Good morning," Jessica yawned as she opened her door on Monday morning.

"Morning," I answered as I stepped through with a still sleeping Jay.

"Are there any special instructions or anything?" she asked.

"No, not really. He usually eats breakfast between eight and nine and then takes a morning nap. Then lunch between noon and one and an afternoon nap. He's pretty easy really. I brought a bunch of baby food and juice. Oh, and a couple extra cans of formula, and more diapers," I explained. "It's all out in the car still though."

Jessica laughed a little. "Well here," she reached out and took the car seat from me. "Let me take him and the diaper bag and you can go get everything else from the car."

I smiled and nodded. This would take a little getting used to. I went outside and to my car. As I was pulling things from the trunk I heard a voice from the garage next door.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" the voice said. She sounded upset. I hurriedly grabbed the rest of my things and took them into Jessica's house.

"Has Bella brought Vanessa over yet?" I asked.

"Nope. She's usually here by now too," she answered.

"Well, I just heard her swearing about something in her garage. I think I'll go over and check on her," I said.

Jessica smiled, a little deviously. "Okay."

I walked across the lawn to the side of Bella's garage. I could faintly hear the clanking and rattling of something, telling me she was still in there.

"Hello Bella," I said as I stepped into the open garage door. "I heard you from the street, is something wrong?"

Bella's head snapped up in surprise. What I saw when she looked at me shocked me a little. Upset was an understatement, Bella was a wreck. She stood there in tattered sweats and a t-shirt. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. She had dark circles underneath them, and mascara streaked down her cheeks. She didn't say anything as she slumped down onto a lawn chair by the wall.

"Bella," I asked kneeling down next to her. "What happened?"

She raised her head a little, meeting my gaze, and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm fine," she sniffed.

"Obviously you aren't fine," I said gently. "Come on, let's go in and wash your face. Then you can tell me what happened."

Bella nodded and stood up. I pulled out my phone as I followed behind her. I wanted to let Alice know we'd be to the office late without Bella getting anymore upset.

**-Bella & I will be late. Not sure how long. She's very upset about something. I'll fill you in ASAP.**

The return message came only a moment later. **–Okay. Let me know if there's anything I can do.**

When we got to the bathroom I turned on the faucet to warm the water up, and then told Bella to sit down. She just nodded again. _What could have brought this on?_

I took a cloth from the shelf and soaked it in the warm water for a minute before I gently wiped the smeared mascara from her cheeks. Bella sat quietly with her eyes closed. The sad, sullen expression never left her face.

"Where's Vanessa?" I asked.

"She's still in bed," Bella whispered.

"Okay, I'll take care of her. I want you to take a warm shower, and get dressed. I already let Alice know we would be late so don't worry about that," I said

"Okay," she whispered again.

I left Bella in the bathroom to take her shower. I had hoped it might relax her a little bit. When I walked into Vanessa's room, she sat up in bed smiling.

"Hi Vanessa," I said as I stopped next to her bed. "Your mommy doesn't feel good today, so I'm going to help you get dressed. Would that be okay?"

Her eyes twinkled, so much like her mother's did. "Okay," she said and stood up.

I found her a clean outfit in the closet and changed her out of her pajamas. Then I took the hairbrush from on top of the dresser and brushed her hair for her.

"Do you know where your shoes are?" I asked. Vanessa toddled off to grab them from the closet floor. She sat down on the floor in front of me and handed me the shoes. I got them on her feet and then helped her up.

"Go bye-bye?" she asked.

I nodded to her with a smile. "Let me just check on your mommy real quick and then we'll go over to Jessica's house okay."

Her excitement was evident in her smile. "Okay," she said.

"Come on then. Let's check on mommy," I replied and took her little hand in mine.

I knocked on the bathroom door, not wanting to walk in on Bella if she wasn't dressed yet. "Come in," she said.

"Feel better?" I asked as I opened the door. I stopped, surprised, when I saw her standing in front of the mirror in a towel. "Oh! Wow, I'm sorry." I immediately turned for the door.

It's not that she didn't look good in that towel. She looked better than good, more like exquisite, but that wasn't the point. I felt like I was violating her somehow. It was balancing precariously on the edge of impropriety.

"I'm, uh," I stammered. "I'm going to take Vanessa over to Jessica."

"Okay," Bella replied.

"Bye mama," Vanessa said and waved.

"Bye sweetie, see you tonight," Bella answered as we left.

I tried, without luck, to shake off the feelings of embarrassment before we got to Jessica's door. My face must have been ten shades of red when I walked into that bathroom and saw Bella. Worse, she seemed completely unbothered by it.

_Why would she tell me to come in, knowing she was standing there in nothing but a towel?_

This thought brought back my earlier concern about her wanting more than I could give right now.

"Edward?" Jessica asked after opening the door to see me with Bella's daughter. "Where's Bella?"

"You go ahead and play inside, okay Vanessa," I said moving aside to let her get through the door. Then I turned to Jessica. "Bella's kind of a wreck this morning. I don't know what happened yet, but she was very upset about something."

"Is she okay?" Jessica asked. "I should go talk to her."

"No, it's okay. I'll take care of her. She'll be alright; I'll make sure of it." I did my best to reassure her. "Go on back in. I'll let you know if I need anything."

"Okay," she said; a worried look still on her face.

"Bella!" I called out as soon I walked through the front door.

"Back here," she replied.

I found her in her room, perched on her bed with an open photo album. "Hey, you okay?"

"Sorry about before," she answered. "I wasn't thinking."

I strode across the room and stood next to her bed. "It just took me by surprise," I laughed. "What're you looking at?" I pointed to the album.

"Oh, this. Just some photos of Vanessa's dad," she answered. "Have a seat if you want." She'd scooted over a little to make room for me next to her.

I sat down a few inches from her. "Bella, talk to me."

"You don't want to listen to me whine about my ex," she said.

"I do, if it'll help. Bella that's what friends are for," I put my hand under her chin and gently lifted her head until she met my gaze. "I want to help, Bella. Let me."

She sighed deeply. "His name is James."

It was a start, but not much to go off of. "Are you still together?"

She shook her head and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "No, we broke it off while I was pregnant."

"Bella, what has you so upset? Did James have something to do with it? Did he hurt you?"

She laughed a little. "No, he didn't hurt me."

"What happened then?" I asked again.

"Yesterday after you left, he called and asked if he could take Vanessa out to dinner. Since she was sick last week he didn't get her on Thursday night. Of course, I agreed, and called my mom to let her know that James would be there shortly to pick Vanessa up," Bella stopped, grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand and took a long drink before continuing.

"Well last night, I needed to run to the grocery store for a few things, but James hadn't called to make sure I was home like he always does before he drops the baby off. I figured that if I hadn't heard from him by the time I got back I would call him to see if he wanted to keep her overnight. I felt bad that he didn't get his night with her last week. So I got my shopping done, loaded everything into the car, and then called his cell phone number. When there was no answer, I decided to drive by his house and see if they were back from dinner yet. When I got there, his car was in the driveway, along with a black Lexus that I'd never seen before."

---BPOV---

I stopped for a minute and looked up at Edward. He just sat there, waiting patiently for me to go on. He looked at me compassionately, but never pressed me. I took another drink of water and then went on.

"Anyway, I went to the door and rang the bell. When James answered the door at first he was shocked to see me, but then he was distracted, like something was wrong."

I paused for another minute again, reliving the whole conversation in my head….

_"Bella?" James had asked. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I tried to call, you didn't answer," I said. "… Is something wrong?" _

_I stepped past him into the apartment. "Where's Vanessa?" _

_"She's playing in her room. Why are you here?" he asked again._

_"I just came by to see if you wanted to keep her overnight. You hadn't called. Is everything okay? … Wait, whose car is that?" I said_

I shook my head, coming back into the present. Edward sat patiently, waiting for me to continue. "Before James could answer, a tall, red head walked out of his bedroom, wearing his sweatpants and a Seattle Seahawks sweatshirt."

_"What is going on James?" I demanded. "Who is she?"_

_"Bella, this is Victoria. I've been seeing her for about nine months," he replied._

_"Nine months? Why did you not say something?" I said, my voice rising. "You've had her around Vanessa before today, I'm guessing?"_

_"Yeah, so," James replied. "What does that matter?"_

_"You've had this woman, who I knew nothing about, around my daughter for all these months and never said anything. Of course it matters James!" I shouted at him. "I would never let anyone spend that much time with her and not tell you about it!"_

_"Really Bella, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. Yes, Vicki has been here, in fact she lives here now. She is very good with Vanessa; you have no worries there. She's getting the same care, if not better, as she always has." James was now shouting in return. " And yes, maybe I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry, but I wanted to avoid this!"_

_"She lives here? Since when? And doesn't she have her own damn clothes?" I was getting angrier by the minute._

_"Jesus Bella!" he shouted back at me. "Would you get a damn grip? I said I was sorry!"_

"Bella?" Edward said, bringing me back again. "There you are. I thought I'd lost you for a minute."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "Anyhow, there was a huge argument. Apparently, he's been dating this woman for almost a year, she's now living with him, and he felt no need to tell me."

"What happened then?" he asked.

"I grabbed Vanessa and got the hell out of there," I said. "I couldn't look at him anymore, I was so mad. Ugh, and that woman!"

"Did she say anything to you?" Edward replied.

"No, she just stood there, all innocent. Like she'd done nothing wrong. What kind of woman just moves in like that without making sure its okay with his daughter's mother first? Or that she even knows about it in the first place?"

I was being irrational, and I knew it. There was no logical reason for me to be as upset as I was about this. I didn't want James, and hadn't for a long time now, but it still hurt. The fact that not only did he not tell me he was seeing someone, but that it was also pretty serious, hurt more than I'd ever have thought it would. I felt betrayed. And the sweatshirt? It had to be the same one, but I thought I'd kept it. James had taken me to a Seahawks game on our third date. I bought him the shirt because it was his favorite team, but it ended up being something we kind of shared. He only wore it occasionally, but I wore it to bed every night in the winter time. He'd always told me how great I looked in his shirt. When we went our separate ways I thought I'd put it in a box in my garage.

"So why where you out in the garage this morning?" Edward asked.

_Shit, can he read minds?_

"The sweatshirt," I answered.

"You were upset because you couldn't find a sweatshirt?" he said puzzled.

"It's not just a sweatshirt," I explained. "Remember I said the woman was wearing a Seahawks sweatshirt?" He nodded so I continued. "Well, it was my shirt. Well, kind of. I bought it for James when we first started dating. I used to wear it as a night shirt. But I thought he'd let me keep it when we broke it off. I could've sworn I had it here."

"Okay, I get it now. That is a little, uh," he paused, trying to think of the right words.

"Fucked up," I finished for him.

"Exactly. God, I could never imagine another woman wearing Angela's old clothes," he said.

"So, you don't think I'm Looney Tunes for going crazy over this?" I asked.

Edward placed his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "No," he said. "I think you have every right to be hurt and upset Bella. It was inconsiderate of him not to say something about his new girlfriend sooner. And he definitely should have told you that this woman was moving in with him."

"I know he doesn't want to give me all the details of his life, and I really don't expect him to. But something like that? It just kills me that he wouldn't tell me," I said as tears started to fall yet again.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder and tucked my head under his chin. He softly rubbed up and down my back as I cried. It was a simple gesture, one often made by friends, but to me, it almost felt like more. When I was all cried out, I pulled away. Sitting back, I looked up into his dazzling, green eyes and became lost in their endless depth. Without thinking about it, I leaned into him, our lips almost touching. So close I could feel his breath on my face. Edward hesitated only a split second, and right before my lips met his, he abruptly pulled back.

"Bella," he whispered softly. "I can't…" he slowly continued to back away from me. "…we should get to the office."

Without another word, Edward turned and walked out my bedroom door.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, just these words.**

**Author's Notes- Finally Chapter 13! Yay! Edward stepped right up to the plate this time and let me get his side down, but Bella. Ugh! That girl was a pain in my ass this week. As always, thanx Muse for pushing me to be better. And little sis too. You two rock my work and make me laugh every day. Also, there's now a blog for the story with some pics, random chatter, and a few songs. I'll post the link in my profile; check back there often for updates. Leave me some love. More encouragement=faster updates.**

Chapter Thirteen

---EPOV---

Three weeks after that day at Bella's house and I still feel uncomfortable around her. I had avoided any close proximity to her. I busied myself with work, only really talking to her when necessary. I dropped Jay off a little early each day, and took my time getting there after work. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to her, or to be near her, I couldn't. The memory of our almost kiss made me sick with guilt. I couldn't look at Bella without wondering how it would have felt to have her lips crushed against my own. I couldn't see her and not feel as if I was committing the ultimate betrayal against Angela. I'd been riddled with guilt and confusion. At the same time, a part of me wanted to be near her, to talk to her….to kiss her. But how could I have any kind of relationship with Bella at all, if I can't even be in the same room with her.

It wasn't just me either; Bella had been distant as well. There was a big brick wall being built between us. For every brick we managed to remove, three more went up in its place. Alice had even noticed our aversion to each other, which was exactly why she was now sitting across my desk from me, silently plotting.

"Edward," she said. "I just wanted to remind you there's a meeting for all of the executives at eleven."

"Yes, I know Alice. You sent out an email on Monday, remember?" I answered without looking away from my computer screen. "Are you here to discuss the meeting, or just to distract me from my work?"

"Actually, I was here to invite you out to dinner tonight," she smiled.

"Sure, where are we going?" I asked curiously. I knew what she'd say. Alice had been dying to take me to her favorite restaurant.

"To Volterra," she replied. How predictable she was.

Volterra, an Italian restaurant here in Seattle, has the best authentic Italian food anywhere other than Italy itself. At least according to Alice. If she could eat pasta for every meal, she would.

"Volterra it is then. Will anyone else be joining us?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, mom and Emmett will be riding with us. The rest of the clan will come if they can make it," she stated.

A family dinner? We hadn't all been together in weeks. This could be just the thing to lift my spirits. It was better than any idea I'd come up with yet.

"Well, I'll leave you to your work then," Alice said cheerfully. I had almost forgotten about the evil plotting I knew she was doing in her head. By the time I remembered though, she was gone.

_I'm sure you'll find out soon enough._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Thank you all for coming," Alice began her usual spiel. "I just wanted to have a short meeting to discuss an upcoming event. As most of you are aware, Cullen Design Firm puts on a Charity Ball each spring to benefit the Seattle Children's Hospital. Well, it's that time of year again…"

The summer before Alice started college, our father suggested she do some volunteer work at Seattle Children's Hospital. She did and ended up falling in love, with the staff, the environment in general, but most of all with the kids. Alice has always wanted a big family, planned every detail of it throughout her whole childhood. Why hasn't she had any of her own yet? Timing. With both her and Jasper working full time and her business taking off the way it did, they had decided to put it on hold. Working at the hospital gave her the chance to be with kids, to love them even, and still be able to pursue her career. As a way of giving back, she always organized and funded a huge charity ball each year. All the proceeds go directly to the hospital. Last year with the proceeds earned, the hospital was able to build a brand new long term care unit.

"Anyone who would like to volunteer to help with making arrangements and planning, please let me know by Friday," Alice said. "Oh, and I almost forgot, I would like for everyone here to attend, with a date, if possible. I know in this economy, fifty dollars a ticket seems like a lot, but if you buy two then you do get a discounted price. And this is all to benefit the children. Also this year, for each of my employees who attend, I will donate an additional hundred dollars. Please pass this along to all of the people in your departments and encourage them all to come."

All the women in the room rushed to volunteer. A few had questions, like where to get a dress. I, along with Emmett and the rest of the men, made a quick getaway. No one knew how long the dress talk would hold out, and none of us really wanted to find out.

Emmett clapped his hand on my shoulder as we walked up the hall toward my office.

"So, your first charity ball, hu?" he mused.

"Yeah," I said. "Tell me, why is it that she wants everyone to have a date?"

"You know how she is bro. Even numbers make for a better party, or something like that. She just wants everyone to have a good time," he explained. "Who are you going to take anyway?"

"I have no idea," I said. "I don't really know anyone, and I think all the women here are married anyway."

"Weeell," Emmett said, drawing out the E. "Not all the girls here are married."

"Emmett, I know what you're thinking. The answer is no," I stated firmly. He was going to suggest that I take Bella.

"Oh come on, Ed. She's really a great girl," he replied. "I thought Alice said you two were friends anyway. So why not? It doesn't have to be like a date."

"I don't think so Em. I think I'll just stay home," I said.

When we got to the office he followed me in and shut the door. "Edward, I know that you feel like, I don't know, if you go out and have a good time or whatever, that somehow you'd be betraying Angela," he blurted. My brother is the bluntest and most strait forward person I know, and it's kind of annoying. "It's been a month and a half Ed, she's not coming back."

"I know that," I said. "I know that its time to get past all this, to at least try to move on. I have tried, but damn it, I don't know how to move on without her Emmett. I'm just lost without her, I'm not whole anymore."

"I know, and look; I'm not trying to be a dick here Edward, but I think if you would open up a little, let someone in, that it may start to get easier," Emmett answered. "Just because she's gone, it doesn't mean you have to do everything alone. The rest of us are still here Ed, and you need to stop shutting us all out."

"You're right," I said. "I know. It's just hard." There was no other word for it. It was hard to even think about any kind of future without Angela. Emmett was right though, I had been shutting people out. Even more so in these last few weeks. I was living in my own little protective bubble and I'd gotten comfortable with my solitude. Even knowing my brother was right, I was afraid. Afraid to let the bubble burst…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What can I get everyone to start out with?" the waitress asked. "Any wine or appetizers?"

"Give us a bottle of the Sangiovese Rosato," Alice replied. "And then as an appetizer, we'll have the Bruschetta Volterrana."

"Very good choices," the girl replied. "I'll have that right out."

Alice, Emmett, our mother, and I had arrived at Volterra a little ahead of schedule. Dad and Rosalie were stopping to pick up Jay on their way, and Jasper said he wouldn't be able to make it. The waitress returned a moment later with the bottle of rose wine Alice had ordered and four wine glasses.

"This is very good wine Alice," my mother said. "Have you had it before?"

"No, I haven't. The last time Jasper brought me here the waitress recommended it, but he prefers white wine," she explained.

Dad and Rosalie arrived just as our appetizer was brought out. "That looks divine," dad said at the sight of it. It was slices of Tuscan bread topped with a mushroom and truffle puree and minced artichokes.

"Do we need more wine glasses?" the waitress, Bree, asked.

"Yes," my father started to answer.

"Just one please," Rosalie said cutting him off as she set Jay into the high chair next to me. "I'll just have a glass of water."

"Do we need anything for the little guy?" Bree said.

"No, thank you," I replied.

"Okay, I'll give you a few more minutes to go over the menu then," Bree said.

Emmett put his arm around Rosalie and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You love wine, baby. Why didn't you want any?" he asked.

"I, uh," she stammered. "No reason really. I just thought maybe I shouldn't drink anymore."

Mom and Alice both gasped and then looked at each other smiling. Emmett, not really comprehending, seemed to have missed that.

"Why?" he asked. "It's not like you really drank much to begin with. At least not that I knew about." Then something dawned on him. "Oh god! Have you been drinking more? Honey do you have a problem? We can look into rehab…"

The entire table busted into laughter at his assumption the Rosalie had become an alcoholic.

"What did I miss?" A voice asked from next to the table. Jasper was standing there looking almost as confused as Emmett. He sat down next to Alice and kissed her softly as the laughter died down.

"I thought you would be working late?" Alice asked.

"I finished up early," he smiled. "Now really, what was so funny?"

"I really don't find this at all funny," Emmett said, still not getting it. "Maybe we should go talk about this at home?"

"Jesus Emmett, relax," Rose said. "I'm not an alcoholic."

"But then why-"

"Honey," she said staring him in the eye. "We're having a baby!"

Emmett just about passed out and another roar of laughter rose among us.

"Really?" he asked. "A baby? When?"

"In about seven months," Rosalie replied. Emmett was sweating profusely. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'm fine, I think. A baby, wow."

"I think this calls for a toast," dad said lifting his glass. "To Emmett and Rosalie. Congratulations on this happy occasion. May you be blessed with a happy and healthy baby."

"Here, here," mom said. She reached over to grab Rosalie's hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. "You will be a wonderful mother dear. I'm so happy for you both."

After everyone said congrats and the "new baby" excitement died down a little, dad asked Alice about the Charity Ball.

"Do you have the date set already?" he said.

"We do. It will be a month from now. The first Saturday in April," she replied.

"Fantastic," dad said. "I can't wait. It's always my favorite event of the year."

"Edward, will you be taking a date?" my mother asked with a small glimmer of hope in her eye.

"I'm not really sure," I said. "I mean I haven't had much time to think about it."

"Maybe you could go with Bella," mom answered sweetly. What is it with my family and this girl?

"Same thing I told him mom," Emmett chimed in.

"It is a good idea," Alice added with a devious grin.

Was I never going to hear the end of this? Why did they always have to join forces this way?

"I was sort of thinking I might just skip it," I said quietly.

"You will do no such thing," Alice all but shouted at me. I looked up at her, stunned. "This is important to me Edward. Will you please come?"

I nodded in defeat.

"And you'll ask Bella to be your date?" she added.

Damn is she ever relentless. This had to be what she was plotting this morning.

"I'll think about it," I conceded.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

---BPOV---

"So what's the deal with you and Mr. Sullen these days?" Jessica asked me one night. She'd come over with Connor, the other baby she takes care of, to watch movies.

"Mr. Sullen?" I questioned. "What are you talking about?"

Jessica giggled. "That's what Mike calls Edward."

"Really?" I asked. "Why?"

"I guess because he always seems so down. Now quit dodging and spill!" she replied.

"There's nothing to tell Jess. I haven't really talked to him these past few weeks. I've been busy and I'm sure-"

"Cut the crap," Jessica interrupted me. "It has nothing to do with either of you being busy and everything to do with you kissing him."

"I did not kiss him," I said firmly. Why I had even told her about that, I'll never be sure.

"Close enough honey," she replied. "What I don't get is why you're not talking to each other."

"It's not that I don't want to," I tried to explain. "It's just, I don't know, awkward?"

"Well why were you trying to kiss him in the first place?" Jess said.

"I wasn't trying to. It just happened. I didn't plan to kiss him, I was upset, and he was there trying to make feel better. It just…." I tried to come up with the right words but failed. "I don't really know, Jess."

I didn't know what more to say. Yes, I had almost kissed Edward. For a split second I thought he'd let me, but at the last minute he'd pulled back. Actually, "pulling back" is putting it lightly. The man practically jumped off the bed to get away from me. Making matters even worse, the look on his face was pure agony, as if I'd wrenched his heart from his chest.

_Maybe I did, so to speak._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Bye sweetie," I said kissing Vanessa. "I'll see you tomorrow after work. Have fun with daddy."

As much as I didn't want to deal with James, I couldn't deny him his time with Vanessa. The first week after our fight I had made him pick her up from my mother so I wouldn't have to see him. While my anger with him had cooled to a simmer, emotionally I wasn't ready. The woman, Victoria, had suggested the three of us sit down and discuss everything like adults. It did make sense, and of course I went along with it, but inside I was still brooding. I had given so much of myself to James over the years. Even when we had decided to break up, we couldn't really go our separate ways. We had to find a way to make it work for Vanessa. In the process, we had become better friends than ever before. We talked more, about real things. Not just what's for dinner or let's go in the back and do it. The two of us had become a team but with the emergence of this new third player, our whole dynamic had been thrown off.

She seemed nice enough I suppose. A little bit high maintenance if you ask me. Victoria was a socialite of sorts. Besides coming from a very wealthy family, her father had also made a big name for himself as the top defense attorney in the state of Washington. Victoria herself was a journalist, covering Entertainment news for The Seattle Times. James had met her through her brother, Riley, who he works with.

"Thanks Bella," he said as I walked them to the car. Once Vanessa was in her seat and ready to go, James shut the door and then turned to me. We had already been through this before, numerous times, but he wouldn't let it go. "I am really sorry. You know I never meant to upset you with all of this."

"It's fine James. Just let it go." I really wasn't in the mood to hash this all out again. "It doesn't matter. As long as your happy, and Vanessa is taken care of, then whatever. I'm over it."

"It does matter though. Victoria is important to me," he explained. "Very important. But if you aren't okay with this," he started.

"Regardless of what I'm okay with, you're going to do what you want anyway. We both know that," I replied. "She's a nice woman, Vanessa seems to like her. I'm about as okay with it as I'm gonna be, so can we just move past this already?"

I didn't mean to snap at him the way I did, but we'd had this conversation four times now. Enough is enough.

Walking back toward the house, I heard the telephone ringing from inside. I made it by the fourth ring and without even looking at the caller ID, I pressed the talk button.

"Hello," I answered breathlessly.

"Hi Bella," Alice said. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No it's fine," I replied. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you about the Charity Ball," she said.

"What about it?" I asked. I hadn't attended the ball before, and I wasn't positive I would be attending this year either.

"Well, mom and I are working on arrangements and things like that. I wanted to know if you'd be willing to help out. Bella you're so creative and thoughtful and I know you don't usually go to these things, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would consider it," she gushed without ever stopping for air.

"Alice, I don't know what to say," I answered. Normally, Alice, Esme, and a few of the executives did all of the planning. I was only an assistant, little more than a secretary.

"Just say yes," she responded.

"Yes, of course Alice. I'll do what I can to help," I said. There was no point making excuses, she would win anyway.

"Great!" she said. "That's fantastic. We're going to meet this weekend to discuss all the details. Do you have any plans on Saturday afternoon?"

"No," I answered. "I can be there. Where at and what time?"

"Meet me outside the Seattle Center at two," she replied. "The ball will be held at Center House."

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll be there."

"I was also wondering," she said skeptically.

"Wondering what Alice?" I questioned.

"Just if you had any idea of whom your potential date might be?"

_Please don't say it Alice._

"Because," she continued. "Edward doesn't have a date either."

_I knew it! What's with the matchmaker shit?_

"You two could go together," she hesitated slightly, "you know, as friends?"

"I hadn't really thought about that yet Alice," I said. "We'll see, okay?"

"Sure," Alice replied. "I'll see you bright and early."

"Have a good night," I laughed.

I hung up the phone and went to my room to change into my pajamas. Before I could get them from the drawer, I decided to take a bath first. A nice, hot, long & luxurious bubble bath. I went into the bathroom, turned on the water, and stripped off my clothes. There's nothing better than a bubble bath. Except maybe a bubble bath in an oversized jetted bathtub, this is exactly what I have.

As I lay there relaxing, my mind started to wander to thoughts of the upcoming ball. The closest thing to it that I'd ever gone to was my senior prom. I had always been uncoordinated and clumsy. I'd grown out of it slightly as I've gotten older, but the thought of heels still terrified me. With any luck, I wouldn't trip and fall in front of everyone.

Before too long though, I drifted off.

_"Beautiful," he whispered. "I've never seen a creature more lovely than you."_

_I smiled and my cheeks blushed. Edward took my hand and wrapped it in the crook of his arm. We walked up the sidewalk to the car waiting in the street. He opened the door and smiled as I slid into the seat._

_"Exquisite," he said._

_I told him to stop, he was embarrassing me._

_"Bella," Edward said. "You are so amazing, I'm so very happy you agreed to go to the ball with me."_

_"Oh Edward," I gushed._

_Before I could utter another word, his lips crashed into my own. His hands cupped my face as he kissed me passionately. My lips parted slightly and his tongue met mine. As I tilted my head back, Edward deepened the kiss. Our breathing grew heavy, almost labored, and then……_

SPLASH!!!

My left foot, which I had pressed against the end of the tub to help keep me from sliding, slipped. My butt skidded across the bottom of the tub and I hit my head against the wall.

"Ow, shit!" I yelled. "Damn it!"

I rubbed the back of my head, checking for any bumps, and then got out of the tub. I wrapped up in my towel and went back to my room.

"Ugh," I groaned, rubbing my head again. I grabbed the Tylenol from the dresser and popped the cap. "That's what you get for falling asleep in the tub."

Deciding I was ready for the day to be over, I climbed into bed. After my nice little dream in the bathtub, I was afraid it could be a very long night. For the sake of my safety, I was really hoping to have a nice, quiet, dreamless night.

_Fat chance!_

I groaned internally.

_Just get over it already Bella. He'll never see you the way you want him to. Never fantasize about you the way you do about him. He's not your Prince Charming and he won't be dancing with you at the Ball._


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

~Author's notes-Okay, 3 big things happened this week. First of all, my 2 girl, _garbageandkneehighs _made her grand debut this week with The Immortal Blunder. For real guys, this is unlike anything you've seen yet. Go check her out, her story is in my favorites if you need the link. Secondly, my 1 girl and bff, _museandpinksocks_, also made her debut with Growing Up Is Hard To Do. She's off to an amazingly, fantastic start guys. You seriously need to get these girls in your alerts, big things are coming from both of them. And then last but not least, this story has been nominated for a Sparkle Award. We're in the category of Jacob Award-for best tragedy. I'd like for everyone to go and vote, not only for me but for all our fellow writers. There are some really good stories nominated. The Bet & The Hills of Twilight are two of my favorites. Voting ends 11/8/09. Here's the linkà http://thesparkleawards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

Chapter Fourteen

---EPOV---

_There she was, just ahead of me, in all her glory. The white gown she wore still accentuating her perfect curves. I called her name but she walked on as if she hadn't heard a sound. The only audible noise was the soft clanking of the bracelets she wore around her wrists. _

"_Baby please, please turn around," I begged. _

_To my utter surprise, she stopped. Slowly she turned; a smile displayed on her lovely face. I stood breathless, unable to speak for a long time. I was paralyzed with the fear of her vanishing, as she had so many times before. _

"_Edward," she whispered sweetly. _

_My heart leapt at the sound of her angelic voice. How I had missed the sound of it these last two months. She took a few steps toward me and raised her hands to touch my face. Silent tears of joy fell from my eyes. _

"_Am I in Heaven?" _I pondered. _"Surely, I must be." _

_Angela laughed, as if she had read my thoughts. "My love," she said. "I've missed you so."_

_The words in my head finally made their way to my lips. "Not nearly as much as I've missed you."_

_She smiled angelically and pressed her lips to mine, ever so softly. _

"_Mmm," she said. "I've missed that too." _

_Now it was my turn to laugh. I was still confused though. "Why now?" I asked. _

_Without any explanation necessary, she answered. "Because it's time.". _

"_Time?" I asked. "Time for what?"_

_The brightness in her eyes astonished me. She was ravishing. Angela wrapped her arms around my neck and gently kissed my cheek. _

"_You already know the answer to that my love," she said._

_I wrapped her in my arms and held her tight against me. I would've given anything to stay in that moment, to keep her there with me forever, but as always, before I knew it, she vanished from before me._

I sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "What the hell?" I said shaking my head. I ran my hands through my tangled locks. Relief washed over me. She'd stopped, she'd heard me this time. Even better, she'd talked to me as well. The sound of her voice was like music to my ears. I felt like running, or flying. It was like a weight had been lifted from my chest. Like I'd climbed out of the abyss I had fallen into upon her death.

I got up out of bed and grabbed a towel. I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. After taking a long look in the mirror, I realized that I didn't just feel more alive. I looked it as well. The dark circles under my eyes, which had become a permanent fixture on my face in the last months, were gone. My eyes looked brighter. Beneath the stubble on my face there was also a smile. A smile that had been long absent.

After I was shaved, showered, and dressed, I walked down the hall to see if Jay was awake. He stirred a bit when the door opened and peeked out from under the blankets with a toothy grin.

"Well good morning to you too," I said taking him from the crib.

He babbled back at me as I changed his diaper and got him dressed for the day. Someone must have made breakfast; I could smell bacon coming from the kitchen. I carried Jay downstairs and Alice grinned at us as I sat Jay down in his high chair.

"Can I help with anything?" I asked.

"I think I have everything covered," she replied. "Unless you want to set the table. Oh, and the hash browns and scrambled eggs are done. You should put some on a little plate to cool off for Jay while I finish up."

"Okay," I said smiling.

Once the baby's plate was dished and cooling, I started setting the table. After I had three places set, I looked up, -to see Alice watching me curiously.

"Wow," she said.

I looked at her questioningly. "Wow what? I didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "I just meant 'wow, you're smiling.' I haven't seen you smile in a long time," she teased. "I almost thought you'd forgotten how."

"Forgotten how to what?" Jasper asked from the doorway. His normally well maintained blonde hair was a mess of disheveled waves.

"Alice thinks I've forgotten how to smile," I said, as he took a seat next to me at the table.

"Not everyone can be as perpetually happy as you are, love," Jasper said to Alice. "Give the guy a break."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Give me a break."

"I'm sorry," she replied, handing us each a fully loaded plate. "It's just nice to see you somewhat like yourself again."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," I said. "Actually, I feel more like myself. I'm not sure what it is, but I just feel better. It's like I finally woke up, or something."

"It's nice to have ya back bro," Jasper said.

"Alice do you have any plans today?" I asked. Normally, her weekends were planned out a month in advance.

"Nothing much, Rosalie invited me to go shopping with her and mom this afternoon. She wants to start picking out things for the baby," Alice said. "Emmett is having a contractor come over on Monday to start the nursery."

"What does he need a contractor for?" I replied.

"Yeah, why don't they just put the baby in one of the spare bedrooms?" Jasper asked.

"That's what Emmett said too," Alice laughed. "Actually, you know how there's that little alcove right off of their master bedroom? The one with the dresser and all the shelves built into the wall that they use for an office?"

"Yeah," Jasper and I said together.

"Rose wants to take out the shelves and dresser to open it up a little more. It'll be like having the baby in their room almost," she explained.

Jasper and I both nodded in understanding. It was common knowledge that Emmett was no handyman. When he and Rosalie first moved in together he was helping her hang pictures in the living room and put a hammer through the wall trying to put in a finishing nail. When they bought a new washer and dryer, he didn't tighten the hoses on the back of the washing machine and the laundry room flooded the first time Rosalie used it. Then there was the time he had tried to fix a clogged toilet. He apparently wasn't aware of the water shut off valve behind it. By the time he got it unclogged, gallons of water had overflowed and seeped through floor. They to had tear out and rebuild the whole bathroom floor, as well as replace a good portion of their living room furniture. Rose has since forbid him from doing any type of renovations or repairs in their house without supervision.

"Would you like to take Jay shopping with you?" I asked, knowing she couldn't resist spoiling him rotten for the day.

"Sure," she said. "Actually, that will be perfect."

That piqued my interest. "Perfect?" I asked. "Alice what are you planning behind my back now?"

She feigned a shocked expression. "I would never!"

"Really babe?" Jasper asked accusingly.

"I don't know why you two always think I'm plotting something," Alice said, defensively.

"Because you usually are love," Jasper retorted.

"Whatever," she said. Why women always say that when they don't want to argue anymore, I'll never know. But they all do it. "Alright, fine," she said in a pout. "I was going to have his pictures taken."

"Really?" I asked, now more interested. "Why?"

"You can never have to many baby pictures Edward," Alice scolded. "I haven't seen any new pictures of him since he was three months old.

"Okay," I chuckled at her. "You want some money to help pay for it?"

"Nonsense," she said.

"So what do you have planned today then Ed?" Jasper asked.

"We, Jasper, have an eleven o'clock tee time with Emmett and Dad," I answered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"So Emmett," my father said. We had gone to the clubhouse after our round of golf for cigars and drinks. "Are you ready for parenthood son?"

Emmett chuckled as he blew out a giant cloud of smoke. "Ya know," he said. "I think I am. It was definitely a shock at first, but I think we're ready."

"I have to agree," I said. "I've been telling him that for months."

"You know Ed, we always teased him about being whipped before. You just wait, especially if that baby is a girl," Jasper said, before blowing an impressive stream of smoke rings.

"Ah yes," my father said. "I can see that now. You boys were always great, don't get me wrong, but you know my heart always belonged to Alice."

"We know Dad. She's the favorite. She always was," I said dryly. He'd never really admitted as much, but Emmett and I always knew that Dad favored our sister.

"Either way, boy or girl, I'm happy," Emmett said.

"As it should be," Jasper said.

"So Edward," Emmett said, turning to me. "Have you decided whether or not to ask Bella to the ball?"

"I haven't really given it much thought," I admitted.

"Well there's only three weeks bro," he said. "You better get on it already."

"She is a very sweet girl son," my father added.

As if I didn't already know that. Of course Bella was sweet. Not to mention kind, caring, and considerate. Aside from all that, she has killer legs that look stellar in skirts and heels. But did I want to go to the ball with her? It's not as if we couldn't just go as friends, that would be acceptable. What if she didn't want to go with me? I hadn't even spoken to the woman for a solid month. I needed to apologize, to make everything right somehow.

"Hey," I said, trying to divert attention from myself. "Let's order another round of drinks, I'll buy this time."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I walked into work Monday morning with a resolution in mind. I was going to talk to Bella. This game of avoidance had gone on long enough. My brother was right on one count, Bella is a sweet girl, and I'd treated her horribly. I was still undecided as to whether or not to ask her to the Charity Ball with me, but I did want to repair the damage I'd done to our friendship.

"Good morning Mr. Cullen," the receptionist said warmly as I passed her desk.

"Good morning Lauren. Are there any messages for me?" I replied.

"Just that there's a staff meeting in the Boardroom at nine," she answered sweetly.

"Thank you," I said, and went into my office.

I had just under an hour before the staff meeting. Alice was notorious for starting early though. With that little amount of time, I didn't want to get too wrapped up in anything that could cause me to lose track of time. I made a couple phone calls and set up a few interviews, then decided to make my way to the Boardroom. If nothing else, I could start the coffee so it would be ready when everyone else got there. Just after I hit the start button on the coffee pot, I heard the door open behind me.

"Oh!" Bella said in a surprised voice. "I didn't realize anyone was in here."

I turned to face her and my breath was taken away. She was wearing a tight fitting, black button down dress with black heels. To say she looked amazing would be an understatement. Bella was absolutely superb. The dress clung to her body, accentuating her pert breasts, her lovely hips, and her amazing legs. Her chocolate, brown eyes were warm and inviting. Her smile was….

"I usually make the coffee for meetings," she said, interrupting my train of thought.

I chuckled awkwardly. "Sorry, I was just trying to be helpful."

"No. No, it's fine," she said with an assuring tone.

"How…uh…" I stammered. "I mean, how are you?"

"I'm good Edward," she answered with a smile. "How have you been?"

"I'm good," I said.

Before we got any further, the door opened again and Alice, Emmett, and a few others came in.

"I should get back to work," Bella said.

I walked with her to the door. "Bella?"

"Yes," she said turning to face me.

I stepped in closer to her. The scent of cherry blossoms surrounded me and I breathed her in for a moment. She stood very still, gazing into my eyes. For half a second, the rest of the room disappeared leaving only Bella and myself. I wanted to say I was sorry, to ask her forgiveness, to do anything to make things go back to the easy way that they were in the beginning.

"I'd like to take you to lunch today," I blurted out.

_Smooth. Real smooth Cullen_.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

---BPOV---

Seriously? Did he really just say that?

Edward and I had barely spoken in the last month, and now he's asking me out to lunch? Why now, what had changed? After the embarrassing incident in my room, Edward had avoided me. Not wanting to make matters worse, I had gone along with it. We only spoke at work when necessary. I never saw him at Jessica's house. I didn't try to apologize, even though I'd been dying to. But I never stopped thinking about him. The way his hair fell into his amazing green eyes, the crooked little smile he had sometimes, the way his ass looked so perfect in his black Levi Strauss jeans…

"I'm not sure," I said.

"Please, Bella," he asked. "If not lunch, can we at least talk?"

"Edward, I'm about to start the meeting," Alice said in an annoyed tone.

I turned to leave and Edward nodded his head. The look on his face was one of defeat as he took a step toward the table. I reached over and placed the palm of my hand on his back.

"One o'clock," I whispered. "Meet me in the parking garage."

His head jerked up and he met my gaze. I smiled and mouthed the word "Bye" as I left, closing the door behind me. I had four hours until lunch, and now I'd never be able to focus.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Thanks," he said again as we got out of the car. We'd gone to a small deli a few blocks away to get our lunch.

"You've thanked me three times now, you know?" I said with a laugh.

"I'm just happy that you agreed to come," he smiled.

We found a table and sat down across from each other. Neither of us spoke until the waiter came by to get our order. After he left, Edward looked up at me.

"I just wanted to apologize Bella," he said. "I wasn't a very good friend and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let that, um…thing, mess up our friendship."

"No," I replied. "You know what? I'm sorry. It was entirely my fault really, I shouldn't have…"

"You were upset," he said. "I was rude though, avoiding you all this time. We should have talked before."

"How about we just forget it?" I suggested. "Let's just start over. That way no one has to apologize, there will be none of this awkwardness between us and we can just go back to being friends."

"That's a very good idea," he said with a chuckle.

"Okay, now that that's all settled," I said with a grin. "Let's eat, I'm starving."

We laughed easily and made small talk while we ate. The atmosphere was comfortable; like it was the night we first spent getting to know each other. Edward seemed different today than he had in the past. He was more relaxed; he smiled more, laughed a lot.

"You seem like you're in a better place," I commented.

"What do you mean in a better place?" he asked playfully. "Like I've passed on?"

"No!" I said, throwing a napkin at him. "I just meant that you seem a little happier. Not as depressed as before, I guess."

"I think that I am, actually. I think it was sort of just time," Edward answered. His eyes glinted in the light, almost sparkled, as if he'd had some kind of sudden realization.

"Time?" I asked. "Time for what?"

He smiled that sexy crooked smile, the one that took my breath away, and shrugged his shoulders. "Time to wake up. Time to rejoin the human race maybe. I've been kinda out of it for awhile."

"That's really good Edward," I said sincerely. "I'm really happy for you."

"Well, thanks. It's a little weird, really. But I just woke up yesterday feeling kind of alive again. I don't want to sound all cliché or anything, but that's really how I feel," he explained.

"It's good for you though," I said. "It's nice to see you smile."

Edward laughed. "Yeah, Alice said the same thing yesterday."

"She's been worried about you," I said.

"Alice wont have to worry too much now," he assured me. "I guess I just realized that Angela wouldn't want me moping around all the time. She would want me to have friends and go out now and then. To be happy."

"I'm sure that she would," I replied. I reached across the table to where his hands were, fingers interlaced, on the table in front of him, and placed my own hand over his. "I would've liked to have met her. She sounds like an amazing woman."

He smiled again. Slowly, he unlaced his fingers and took my hand. "Thank you. I think she would have liked you, too."

Just as we were finishing up our meals, the waiter brought us the ticket. I reached out to take it, but Edward grabbed it before I could.

"I invited you Bella. It's my treat," he replied.

"Thanks," I said. I picked up my purse and took out my wallet. "At least let me leave the tip then."

He laughed at me, but agreed. "Are you ready? We should get back to work."

"Sure," I said, standing up.

We made our way up to the cashier to pay, and then out to Edward's car. He unlocked the door and held it open while I climbed inside, then he made his way around to the driver's side.

"Hey," I said, once he was in the seat. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"I'm not really sure yet. What's up?" he answered.

"I was going to make homemade pizza this weekend. Vanessa loves it, but we always end up with way more than what we can actually eat. Would you and Jay like to come over?"

"I think we can probably arrange that," he smiled. "Can I bring anything?"

"Umm, maybe a salad?" I said. "We can make breadsticks too."

"Okay," he laughed. "Sounds good. I could bring a movie if you want."

"If you'd like to," I answered as we pulled into the parking garage at work.

He cut the engine and then turned toward me in his seat. "And now, I have a question for you."

"What is it?" I said turning to face him.

"Would you be my date for the Charity Ball?" he asked.

My breath hitched a little. I had already decided against this. We just started talking again and I didn't want to jeopardize this new friendship. I looked down at my hands in my lap, unsure. I knew how I wanted to answer him but I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. My heart was hammering in my chest as I struggled to give him an answer.

"Bella," Edward said softly. "As just a friend, be my date?"

"Okay," I whispered. "I will."

~A/N- Just wanted to let you guys know I'll be posting an out take from this chapter as well. It's called Emmett vs. the Toilet. Don't forget to read it and let me know what you think.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer-I do not own Twilight or the characters, we just play well together.**

**Author's notes- So, yeah. I tried to get this chapter out as soon as possible, it just didn't work out according to that plan. The good news is that chapter 16 is already complete and 17 is halfway done. So for the next 2 weeks at least I'll update on Fridays. Much love to Muse, thanks for being so thorough. Thanks to all the readers, you guys drive me to better. Oh yeah, and remember how I promised that outtake? It's on it's own thread, go to my stories and check it out. Don't forget to check out the blog for updates and pictures also. Peace, love, & New Moon.

Chapter Fifteen

---EPOV---

"You look like you're dressed for a glee club recital or something," Jasper teased.

In my infinite stupidity, I had waited until three days before the big ball to look for something to wear. When I came to the realization that I owned nothing suitable, and nothing in Jasper's closet would fit me, Alice sent us shopping. I wasn't allowed to make her look bad by dressing in a cheap suit, or so she kept telling me. After about the fifth suit I tried on, I was ready to just wear jeans and a t-shirt to the thing. At least until Jasper reminded me of the wrath I'd face upon going home empty handed.

"I never would've thought it could be so hard to pick out a damn suit," I said, stubbornly adjusting the jacket I'd just put on.

"Surely you didn't think you could just walk in and find something that easily?" Jasper asked.

"I didn't know," I said defensively. "It's not like I've bought a lot of suits before. This is actually a first for me."

"Really," he answered quizzically. "You didn't help pick out your tux for your wedding?"

"Nope," I grinned smugly. "Ang picked it out, I only had to try it on to make sure it didn't need to be tailored."

Jasper just shook his head. "You're one lucky bastard. Alice dragged me along with her to six different stores trying to find the perfect one to match her dress. Then we ended up back at the first store after she decided she liked the first one I'd tried on."

I chuckled at that. "That certainly does sound like her."

A few silent moments passed while I tried on the next suit. It was a pin stripe Armani, and expensive, but not really my style. Jasper had picked it up trying to be helpful. Once it was in place, I stepped out of the dressing room for an opinion.

"Dude," Jasper said, with a laugh. "You look like a mobster. Where's your violin case?"

I shot him a disparaging look. "You picked this one out, douche."

"I didn't think it would make you look like Al Capone though," he said, still laughing.

"Ugh!" I groaned. "This is gonna take all damn night at this rate. Go find me some more; I've already tried on everything we grabbed the first time."

Jasper stood and took one last look at my "mobster" getup before heading back to the racks. He came back shortly with an armful of new prospects for me and hung them on the bar outside the changing room.

"Hopefully there's something in there that'll work so we can get the hell out of here," he said. "Although, it would be helpful to know what Bella will be wearing."

"Why's that? You don't honestly think that I need to color coordinate with her do you?" I asked, incredulously.

"Well no," he sighed. "But you know damn good and well that Alice will."

"I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's not like a prom or a wedding where everyone matches each other," I replied. "I'm sure a nice black, or even gray, suit will look just fine compared to whatever Bella wears."

I tried on four more suits before finally finding one that looked just right. It was a casual looking, black, two button Calvin Klein suit with a silver vest and tie.

"Now I just need to get shoes," I said as we got into Jasper's new, black, Nissan Titan. "But I can go buy shoes tomorrow. Let's stop off for a beer before we head home."

"Sure, that sounds good," Jasper answered. "Maybe we should get some take-out too. Alice has been so stressed all week trying to get her last minute shit done for Saturday."

"Okay, call her and let her know then, or she'll be trying to cook something before too long," I told him.

Jasper called Alice to tell her our dinner plans, for which she thanked him appreciatively. Then he called Volterra and placed a to-go order. He pulled into a little parking lot across the street from the restaurant and turned the engine off.

"Come on, loser pays for dinner," he said with grin.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, before realizing where we were.

Aro's was a small bar that Jasper liked to go to after work sometimes. It was his favorite place to wind down after a long day photographing whiny, stuck up, underfed, bitchy models for hours on end.

"Hey Jasper," the man behind the counter said. He had whitish blond hair, pulled back in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. He looked to be about mid twenties physically, but his dull blue eyes seemed to give him ageless quality. "There's a table open in back."

"Thanks Caius," Jasper said. "You do know how to play, right?" he asked, turning to me.

"It's been awhile," I laughed. "But yeah."

Jasper smiled at my obvious unease. "I'll rack, you break."

"Can I get you boys a drink?" a tiny, child-like looking woman, whom I hadn't even noticed standing to my right, asked.

"Guiness Draft please, Jane. And a Miller Light for my brother," Jasper answered.

"Thank you," I told her before she left to get our drinks.

I picked out a cue while Jasper racked up the balls on the table. It had been years since I'd played pool. Angela and I never really went out much. When we did, it was to dinner or the movies. She didn't drink so we never went to bars.

"Alright man," Jasper said. "Let's see what you've got."

I lined up the cue and ball on the table and took my first shot, sinking two balls; one striped and one solid. Standing upright, I examined my options on the table. They were pretty slim so I settled on and easy corner shot.

"Four ball, corner," I said, pointing out the corner with my cue.

"Whatcha gonna do now, big man?" Jasper asked after I sunk the ball, taunting me.

I stood there for minute, eyes on the table, planning my next move. I'd never been good at the long shots, but it was all I had. I lined up the shot nervously. There was a lot of green to cover to be able to sink the ball.

"One ball, right corner," I said, as I took my shot, inevitably missing.

"Ha!" Jasper snorted. "Nice try though. Fifteen in the side."

Jasper cleared that one and two others from the table before sinking the cue ball. On my turn, I took out the one and the seven, but scratched trying to sink the three. Jasper's phone beeped and he checked the message.

"Food's done bro. We're tied now, but I'm done going easy on you."

"Whatever, dick. Just take your shot," I said before finishing off my second beer.

He sank two of the three remaining striped balls on the table, but then missed the shot on the third. I still had a chance, slim though it was, to beat him. I stood back, concentrated and then took a seemingly easy shot in the corner. I realized, after missing said easy shot, that my perception of easy is obviously off the mark.

"How the hell did you miss that dude?" Jasper asked, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Hey, I said it's been a long time. I'm pretty sure the last time I shot pool was at your bachelor party Jazz," I said, defensively.

"It's all good, I'll just finish clearing mine and then we can go. I'm starved," he replied.

I nodded my head in reply. I'd have to have a few practice games before I could play him on a bet again. I was just about to acknowledge his win when Jasper did the unthinkable. He scratched on the eight, making me the winner. Yeah okay, winner by default, but winner none the less.

"Damn it!" Jasper said. "I was counting on you buying dinner."

To make him feel better about his loss, I footed the bill at the bar.

"Leaving after only one game?" Caius asked, speculatively.

Jasper shrugged. "Yeah, he's too good for me. I can't bear to play him again."

* * *

"Oh," Alice moaned. "I am so full. That was so good."

"Yeah it was," Jasper said, nodding.

"So Edward, go try on the suit. I want to see it," Alice told me.

"I think you can wait three days Alice. It won't kill you," I replied. I'd eaten so much I wasn't sure the pants would still fit me.

"Yes it will! Now go on," she demanded.

I shoved back from the table and stood up with a groan. "If it will make you happy."

I grabbed the garment back I'd brought home and headed to my bedroom to change. Once I had the suit on, I made my way back to the dining room. Alice looked up at me and gasped.

"Wow," she whispered. "Edward, it's perfect!"

"Thank you," I said, smiling.

"It's really perfect. You two will look amazing! Oh, I can't wait!" Alice stated, excitedly clapping her hands.

Jay, sitting in his high chair, caught on to Alice's excitement and clapped his little pasta and sauce covered hands together as well.

"Aww," Alice said to him. "Daddy looks nice, hu Jay?"

Jay gave her his toothiest grin and clapped some more. We all laughed at the cuteness that was my son.

"I'm gonna go change," I said. "Alice, will you clean him up so I can get him into bed?"

"Sure," she said, still giggling at the baby. "Come on buddy, you want to take a bath?"

I walked into my bedroom and stopped at the mirror above the dresser. I took a long look at myself. Alice was right; I did look good in the suit. I could only remember one other time that I looked this nice.

I took the jacket and shirt off, putting them back on the hanger carefully, and tried to shake the thoughts of my wedding day from my head…

* * *

---BPOV---

"Hey Jess," I said as she opened the door.

"Oh, hi, Bella. You know James already picked her up right?" Jessica asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I laughed. "He called me when he got off work early."

"Well, come on in. I'm just finishing up an interview," she stated, as we walked into the kitchen. "Bella, this is Kate Aldridge. She and her daughters just moved here from Alaska."

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," Kate said.

Kate was beautiful, with pale yellow hair falling in waves to the middle of her back. She was tall, standing at about five feet, ten inches. She had a slight frame, not too thin. Her eyes were a beautiful hazel color and her smile was warm and welcoming.

"I watch Bella's little girl five days a week too. We've known each other forever though," Jessica explained. "She also lives right next door."

"Oh that's cool. So convenient too," Kate laughed.

"How old are you daughters, Kate?" I asked curiously.

"Tanya is five and Irina is four months," she answered.

"And you just moved here from Alaska?" I said. "Is that where you're from originally?"

Kate shook her head. "No, originally I'm from Portland. I moved to Anchorage with my husband, sorry ex-husband now, about three years ago. He's stationed at Fort Richardson, the Army base up there."

"Oh, sorry things didn't work out," I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"No worries," she laughed. "After I walked in on him fucking Private Young on our pool table, I decided to leave his sorry ass."

"Yeah, I think I would have too," Jessica said.

"So what do you do? For work I mean." I asked.

"Right now I'm a nurse's assistant, but next fall I want to go back to school to become a registered nurse." she answered.

"Awesome!" I said. "Anyway, Jess, I've gotta jet, but what I came over for was to see if you wanted to go shopping this weekend. The charity ball is a week from tomorrow and I still need a gown."

"Speaking of shopping," Kate started. "Do you guys have any good stores out here? The girls and I all need some new clothes."

"Well, why don't you come along, Kate?" Jessica almost squealed. "Mike can baby sit the kids. We can show you around town a little, get some retail therapy, maybe have lunch."

"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed. "That's a great idea."

"Can Mike really handle all those kids?" Kate asked, skeptically.

"Oh sure," Jessica said. "He's great with them."

"Well…okay…yeah," Kate agreed. "I think I'll take the baby with us though. Five kids is a lot for one guy to handle."

"Great!" Jessica said. "What time tomorrow, Bella?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. How about like, ten?"

"Sounds good to me. I'd better be getting home too. The kids will be hungry soon," Kate replied.

"Alright, see you girls tomorrow," I said.

* * *

_Beep…beep…beep_

I reached my hand out from under the covers to slap the snooze button on the alarm clock, cursing myself for forgetting to reset it. Getting up at six on a Saturday would be unthinkable. My eyes fluttered open, looking at the red numbers on the face of the clock in vain. I groaned internally and then rolled over, trying to find that perfect, cozy spot. After about twenty minutes of trying unsuccessfully to get back to sleep, I threw the covers to the side.

I got out of bed, muttering random obscenities to myself and then headed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on to warm up and then went to the kitchen to make coffee. By the time I was down in the shower, it would be piping hot and ready to drink. I went back to the bathroom, peeling off my pajamas as I walked. The bathroom was a steamy haze when I got there, just the way I like it. Nothing beats a hot shower in the morning.

_Except for maybe a hot shower after sex...or a hot shower during sex…_

_Easy tiger._

I was losing my mind. I'd never thought of sex as much in the past as I had been in the last two weeks. For some reason my mind had connected Edward asking me to go to the ball with him to sex. I couldn't get past it. Even knowing that it could not even possibly become reality, I'd been fantasizing about him non-stop.

_Edward doesn't want you that way, Bella. He's just a friend. _

I repeated this to myself over and over. It had become my mantra of sorts. As much as I wanted it to happen, I was sure that Edward could never be romantically interested in me. I shouldn't want someone so badly, that doesn't want me at all.

_But I do…_

* * *

"You ready?" Jess shouted from across the lawn. I'd just stepped outside.

"Yup," I said, nodding. "Who's car we taking?"

"We can take my car," Kate said, pointing to a tan Mercury Mountaineer. "There's a ton of space if we lay the back row of seats down."

"Works for me," I replied. "Where we headed first?"

"Let's go to Northgate Mall. I think there's a dress shop there, Bella," Jess answered, hopping into the back seat of Kate's SUV.

"Which way?" Kate asked once we were all in and buckled.

Jessica gave better directions than I do, so I let her be the back seat driver.

"Do you want to find a dress first or look around in the mall?" Jessica asked when we reached our destination.

"Well I'm not sure how long it'll take to find the right dress," I said.

"Let's find the dress first then," Kate suggested. "Then you can take your time."

"Excellent!" Jess exclaimed. "Let's get started then, shall we."

We went into the dress shop and started to peruse the racks. The sales girl came to make sure we didn't need any assistance, to which we said no. Jessica and Kate each picked three they thought I should try on and I found a couple that looked promising.

"What do you think?" I asked, stepping out of the dressing room in Jessica's first choice. It was a peach colored, strapless cocktail dress.

"It doesn't look right with your pasty skin," Kate teased. "Try on one of mine."

"Okay," I shrugged.

The next one wasn't much better. Pink is definitely not my color. They all but laughed at how pale the light colored dress made me look. I looked at the rack they'd hung their dress picks on and the pickings were pretty slim. A few had great style, but awful coloring for me. One was just plain hideous, all ruffled and skin tight.

"You guys," I said. "These are not working. We need some thing darker."

"I think you may be right," Jessica agreed. "Wait here, we'll go look again."

I sat on the bench in the dressing room, thinking maybe this had not been such a great idea. I would be kidding myself if I thought for a minute that I could pull this off. It shouldn't even matter what I wear because it will change nothing. As much as I wanted him to be, Edward was far from ready to move on. Even knowing this fact, I still held on to the preposterous notion in my head that when he was ready, that he might want me the way that I want him.

"Wow," I heard Jessica gasp loudly.

"Oh yeah," Kate said. "This is definitely it."

"What'd you guys find?" I asked standing up.

One of them knocked on the dressing room door and what I saw upon opening it took my breath away. It was the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen.

"Oh my god," I whispered. "It's absolutely perfect."

* * *

---EPOV---

I'm not gonna lie, I'd been nervous as hell all day. Bella and I had agreed to meet at Center House, agreeing also that for me to pick her up would make it seem as if this were a date; which it isn't. Or so I kept telling myself. There was a strange air of familiarity to it that I couldn't quite place though. My head jerked up at the sound of knocking.

"Come in," I said, turning toward the door.

Alice opened the door slowly. "How do I look?"

She was wearing a lovely, black dress that hugged her body and flared out before hitting the floor. She looked smashing, but then again, Alice could make a _Hefty_ bag look fashionable.

I walked over to her smiling and grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it. "You look lovely Alice, as you always do."

"Thanks," she said, blushing slightly. "Jasper and I are heading out. Are you sure you don't want to ride with us in the limo?"

"No," I laughed. "It's fine, you go ahead. I'll see you there in a bit."

"Alright," she smiled, turning to leave. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You look very handsome."

"Thanks Alice. I'll see you there," I replied, graciously.

* * *

"Jesus Edward," Rosalie said. "You're shaking like a leaf. Why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not really sure," I said.

It made no sense to me at all, but I couldn't recall a day when I'd been more anxious than I was in that moment. Bella was only ten minutes late and I was reacting as though I'd been stood up. It was juvenile and I knew it, but I couldn't help it. The realization that she might have changed her mind felt like ice daggers through my heart.

"Relax man, she'll be here," Emmett said. "Come on, Mom and Dad just came in."

The three of us greeted my parents, chatting casually. At some point Jasper and Alice joined us as well. Alice praised each of us for how nice we looked and thanked us for coming. Emmett invited Jasper and I to golf with him the next day. My mother asked me about Jay and Rose about how her pregnancy was going. Just when I had started to relax a little, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around, surprised, and my breath caught in my throat. The woman standing before me was a vision of beauty. She was absolutely ravishing. I smiled at her and watched as a light blush spread over her cheeks.

"Lovely," I whispered.

~Author's note- Just wanted to let ya'll know, the ball is up next. Drag out your best gowns and meet me there. Don't forget to leave some love.

.


	16. Chapter 16

*Disclaimer- I don't own them, we just hang out occasionally.*

~* Author's notes- Yay! We finally made it to the Ball. Make sure you all check out my blog tonight, I'll be adding pictures of all the dresses and suits. They're are absolutely fantastic. I know I promised the next 2 chapters on Fridays, but I didn't take into consideration that next Thursday is Thanksgiving. So, I'll be taking next week off. Also, I just wanted to let everyone know that we'll have the voting results for The Sparkle Awards on November 30th. Thanks for all who went and voted, I'm keeping my fingers crossed, can't wait to find out. *~

CD-Ch 16

---EPOV---

Bella was dressed in an exquisite royal blue gown. It had an intricate pattern of sparkling beads and tiny sequins. The rich, dark, satin was heavenly in contrast with her pale skin. Her long brown hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. She looked like a princess.

_No, even better than a princess…_

"Hello Edward," she said.

"Bella," I replied.

I reached out to grab her hand and slowly brought it to my lips. I kissed the back of it gently, my eyes never leaving hers. She smiled and blushed, making her look even more radiant. I raised her hand up above her head and turned her around so I could see the rest of her dress.

"You look beautiful," I said.

"Thanks," she whispered shyly. "You look very nice yourself."

The rest of the room seemed to disappear as I continued to take in Bella's striking beauty. She couldn't have found a dress more suited to her if she'd tried. It was as if this dress had been made for her, and her alone.

"Oh Bella!" Alice squealed, breaking me from the trance I was in. "That dress is just gorgeous!"

"Thanks Alice," Bella said. "You guys all look, just… wow."

"I'm so glad you're here," Alice said. "Let's go get a drink."

Without waiting for Bella to answer, Alice grabbed her hand and dragged her off towards the bar. I watched, as she walked away from me, feeling a slight sense of déjà vu. When I finally looked away, Jasper smiled and nodded at me, knowingly. The guy was perceptive. There was no denying that he realized how much this night could change the dynamic of my relationship with Bella.

"She sure is a beauty," he stated.

"That she is," I said simply.

I really didn't want to think about the "what ifs" anymore. What if she wanted more than I was ready to give? What if I wanted more than she was ready for? What if something happened and I lost her too? The endless questions bouncing around in my head about the boundaries of our relationship were enough to drive me crazy. I was done over analyzing things with Bella. From here out, I was going to quit fighting against the attraction I felt towards her and let the chips fall where they may.

Just then I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my mother standing behind me.

"May I?" she asked, smiling.

"Of course," I answered, taking her hand and leading her out onto the dance floor.

Alice had gone all out for music. Not only did she hire a deejay, she also had a string quartet, beautifully playing classical music.

"It's so nice to see you smiling," she said, beaming up at me as we fell into a slow waltz.

"It has been awhile," I laughed. "But this is nice."

"Yes, it is. Your sister worked very hard to make everything perfect for tonight," Mom replied.

"I think she's outdone herself," I said, looking around.

The room was hung with white gossamer and the light was low. She had an arrangement of calla lilies in the center of every table. In the center of the room there was an exquisite, lighted water fountain. There was a bar set up in the back, and the wait staff busily made the rounds, with trays of champagne, wine, and various mixed drinks.

"I wouldn't go that far," my mother disagreed. "I think it's perfect."

When the song was over, I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you," I whispered.

We returned to where Bella and the rest of my family stood, chatting amongst themselves. My father promptly led Mom right back to the dance floor, mumbling something about not getting the first dance.

"Come on, baby," Emmett said to Rosalie. "Come dance with me."

"Since you asked so nicely," she replied sarcastically, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," Emmett apologized. "Would you please honor me with a dance?"

Rosalie beamed at him. She was glowing, radiantly. Pregnancy suited her very well. She took Emmett's hand and followed him to the dance floor. Alice and Jasper joined them moments later, leaving Bella and I alone.

"So," she said, nonchalantly.

"So?" I asked.

"This doesn't have to be so high shool-ish," she said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"You're right," I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Just relax," she said, grabbing my hand. "Let's try to have some fun."

I let her lead the way. She stopped and greeted a few people before taking us to the dance floor. A familiar song started and I spun Bella around in a circle before pulling her into my arms.

"You really do look amazing, Bella," I said, looking down at her.

"You already said that," she whispered, before pulling her delicate bottom lip between her teeth.

"I'll continue to say it too," I replied, flashing my most debonair smile.

"I feel like Cinderella at the ball with the prince," she laughed.

"You play the part quite well," I said. "Except I'm not a prince."

"True," she said, feigning seriousness.

I stopped in my tracks. "You didn't have to agree quite so readily."

Bella laughed again, low and sultry. "I'm sorry."

A microphone crackled to life somewhere in the room and a man announced that the band was taking a break, leaving the deejay to take over. We danced to one more song and then I suggested we sit down and have a drink. We found a table, and within seconds, a waiter was there with a tray of drinks.

"I'll have a whine wine," Bella told him.

"Make it two," I replied, noticing how the young man was ogling Bella.

"See," I told her, once he'd walked away. "I'm not the only one."

"The only one to what?" Bella asked, confused.

"You really didn't notice that boy staring at you?" I asked. "He was practically drooling."

"Don't be silly," she said, self consciously. "He was not."

"On the contrary," I argued. "Bella, every man in this room as been eyeing you since you walked in the door."

A pale blush spread across her face and she looked down at her hands in her lap. "That's absurd."

I reached across the table and lifted her chin so that I could look into her eyes. I could see the doubt in them as she shook her head. A part of me would have done anything to make her see herself the way I did. She unconsciously took her lip between her teeth again and I had to fight the urge to lean across that table and kiss her.

_So much for not fighting it anymore…_

I looked away from Bella just long enough to notice Alice approaching our table. She smiled at us and took a seat next to Bella.

"Are you having a good time?" she asked.

Bella's eyes flickered between my sister and me; a smile spreading across her face. "I am, Alice. This is all so amazing."

"It is, isn't it," Alice replied, smugly. "Now come on you two little wallflowers, come dance with the rest of us."

I looked at her grudgingly but complied without a word. As we walked, I took Bella's hand and placed it in the crook of my arm. She looked at me and giggled.

"Let's go Cinderella, it isn't midnight yet," I whispered, just low enough for only her to hear.

I spun her around on the dance floor again and then held her tightly in my arms. Out of all of the beautiful girls in the room, she was the only one I saw. The rest of the room faded away slowly, until Bella and I were the only ones left in it.

"Edward," she gasped after a few songs. "Can we get a drink?"

"You read my mind," I said.

We walked to the bar at the back of the room, where I ordered a scotch for myself and a cosmopolitan for Bella. With drinks in hand, we headed back toward the tables. At least until Bella froze, dead in her tracks. She had a look of dread on her face that I couldn't place.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to follow her gaze.

"Shit!" she said, quietly.

* * *

---BPOV---

_What the hell is he doing here? And with her?_

James was standing across the room, along with Victoria. They were talking with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice. From where I stood, it looked like Victoria was writing something in a small tablet.

"Oh my God," I said, as realization struck.

"Bella?" Edward asked, obviously confused by my behavior. "What's wrong?"

_Of course the Seattle Times would be sending their top entertainment writer to an event like this. _

"Oh," I said, turning to him flustered. "It's uh…nothing."

Edward looked at me closely, seeing how close I was to the brink.

"It's obviously not nothing Bella," he stated.

I sighed in defeat. "James is here with Victoria."

"But, why-" he started to ask.

"She's a member of the press," I explained. "It's fine. Let's just…let's go dance some more."

Edward gave me a worried look.

"Really," I assured him. "Come on."

I led him back to the dance floor, going the opposite direction of James, trying to stay out of his line of sight.

_Nothing to worry about, Bella. He's not here to start problems. Just go about your night as if he'd never been here._

Edward still looked concerned as I pulled him close. I just wanted him to hold me. It wasn't a big deal that James was here. We were both adults, and more than capable of acting as such in public.

After a few minutes, Edward relaxed. The slight tension was erased as he spun me around the dance floor. We smiled and laughed with each other. When we weren't dancing, we were socializing with the other guests; Edward's hand always resting lightly on the small of my back. To the outside world, we might have even appeared to be a real couple. To each other, we were just good friends, having a good time.

"Will you excuse me for a few minutes?" I asked Edward. I desperately needed to make a trip to the ladies room.

"Of course, I'll be right here," he replied sweetly.

I turned and walked away from him. When I got about ten feet away, I couldn't resist the urge to look back at him. He was still watching me intently. I gave a shy smile and then kept walking.

This night had not been anything like I'd expected it to be at all. I was having such a wonderful time, and Edward almost seemed like a wholly other person. Every time he wrapped me in his arms for a dance, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like a school girl with her first big crush.

"Oh!" I'd accidentally stumbled into someone outside the restroom door. "I'm so sorry," I said, looking up.

_Shit!_

"Bella?" he said. The tone of his voice told me this wouldn't be a pleasant interaction.

"Hello James," I said softly, before trying to sidestep him to get into the ladies room.

James grabbed my arm, preventing me from going anywhere.

"What are you doing?" I asked, angrily.

"We need to talk," he said, sternly.

He loosened his grip on my arm a little and then led me to the back door. I stopped just inside the door, it was a cold Seattle night and I had no jacket, but he pulled on my arm again. I was hoping against all hope that he wouldn't make a scene out here. I looked up at the cloud-filled sky and shuddered.

"What?" I asked. "What is so important that you had to drag me outside to talk about?"

"You have some fucking nerve!" he shouted at me.

"What in the hell are you talking about, James?" I said.

"I'm talking about you, being a giant fucking hypocrite Bella," he answered.

"Look," I replied. "I need to get back in there. This is my boss's party James."

"You aren't going anywhere until you talk to me Bella," he said.

"Fine, talk then. Tell me what your damn problem is so that I can apologize and go back inside."

"You are my damn problem!" he shouted again. "You, parading around with your boyfriend in there. After the fucking hissy fit you threw over me being with Victoria!"

I just stood there, open mouthed, unable to speak.

"How long Bella? How long have you been fucking him?" James asked.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," I yelled, shoving him in the chest.

"Don't I?" he replied. "Bella I saw you with him. You can't stand here and tell me that there is nothing going on between you and that guy!"

I felt the tears fall onto my cheeks at the same time I felt the heavy raindrops on my bare shoulders.

"So how long?" he asked again.

"I'm not fucking him, James," I said.

The rain was coming down harder by the minute. I was shaking from the cold. Shaking from the crying.

_How did this happen…_

"I don't believe you! There is something going on with that guy, Bella. I know there is."

Words failed me. I floundered trying to come up with something to say. James was seething in front of me. I'd never seen him this mad before. I wanted to defend myself, to tell him he was wrong, or just to go to Hell, but I couldn't do anything but stand there and sob.

_He's right. I am a hypocrite._

"Has he been around Ness?" James asked, coldly.

I nodded, slowly.

"I fucking knew it," he said. "Why would you lie to me Bella? Why make such a big deal over Victoria when you're doing the same God damn thing?"

"I wasn't," I whispered.

All James wanted to do was take, and I had nothing left to give. I didn't want to fight anymore. I was cold, I was wet, and I was broken. It was time for this to stop, I just didn't know how.

"James!" a woman's voice shouted from behind me.

His head snapped up at the sound of Victoria's voice.

"What the hell is going on out here?" she asked him, stepping closer.

"Nothing," he said. "We're done here."

Victoria gave me with a sympathetic look and then grabbed James' arm, pulling him toward the parking lot.

"You're an idiot!" she said.

I stood there in the rain, blinking through the tears, unsure where to go. I wanted Edward. I wanted to feel his arms around me. I wanted him to tell me everything would be fine.

_But it's not fine…_

I couldn't go back inside like this. There was no way I would do that to Alice. I turned around and looked back at the building, longingly, just in time to see Edward going back to the party. He'd been right there. Close enough to see the whole exchange. And now he was walking away.

I choked out a sob. Grabbing onto the back of a bench seat for support, I took off my heels one at a time and dropped them on the ground. I hiked up the skirt of my gown, and then ran to my car.

~* A/N- Okay…I know. Kind of a cliffy. I am sorry about that, truly. But please, review or comment and let me know you still love me. Thanks guys, I love you!


	17. Chapter 17

*Disclaimer- They don't belong to me, we like to hang out sometimes

~Author's Notes- OMG! It has been such a long 2 weeks!! I am really sorry for the holiday down time, but even though I wanted to post last week, my betas _museandpinksocks _& _garbageandkneehighs _were fully prepared to hold the chapter hostage. Anyway…go ahead and read it and we'll catch up down below.

**Chapter Seventeen**

---EPOV---

"Alice," I said, "I'm leaving. I'll explain later, I promise."

"What? Why?" she asked, confused. "Where's Bella?"

"I'm sorry, Alice, I have to go make sure Bella's alright," I told her. I kissed her on the cheek and then hurried for the door.

I had never seen anyone look more defeated than Bella did standing outside. She was soaked to the bone, her lovely dress ruined by the rain. That sorry excuse of a man had chewed her up one side and down the other, barely letting her get a word in. I only wish I knew why they were fighting. I should have gone out there. I should have saved her from him, but I had just stood there. When he walked away from her, leaving her standing alone, my heart sank. I had to do something for her. I wanted nothing more than to get her out of here, to take her home, to take care of her. I knew Alice would be upset but I didn't have time to explain. I needed to get back to Bella, the urge to protect her was tearing at my heart.

I ran outside, looking everywhere for the beautiful girl. I stopped when I reached the place she had been standing only minutes before, but she was gone. I turned around, frantically seeking any hint of where she could have gone. Then I saw them, lying on the ground next to a bench. A pair of blue, strappy, high-heeled shoes, the exact color of Bella's gown.

"Shit," I groaned.

I picked up the shoes and then ran to my car. Bella must have gone somewhere. The best place to start would be her house, and if she wasn't there, I'd wait for her.

I took off my wet suit jacket and threw it into the back seat of the car. Water was dripping from my hair and into my eyes as I turned the key in the ignition and peeled out of the parking spot. I raced to Bella's house, hoping desperately to find her there.

There were no lights on in the front room when I stopped at the curb in front of Bella's house. The only sign that she might be there was a dim light glowing at the far end of the house. I took a deep breath, cut the engine and grabbing the shoes from the passenger seat, I got out of the car.

I knocked hard on the door, hoping from the back of the house she'd hear it. When she didn't answer, I tried the bell. The compulsion to fix her, to put her back together, was driving me. I rang the bell again and a moment later, the door swung open violently.

Bella stood in the doorway. Even with the mascara streaked down her cheeks, her eyes red and blood shot, and her face blotchy from crying, she was still beautiful. I could see the tears in her eyes, ready to spill over again any minute.

"What?" she said angrily.

"Bella," I said, taking a step closer to her. "Are you okay?"

I reached up and cupped her cheek with my hand, but she shook her head and stepped back.

"No, Edward, I am obviously not okay," she answered. "Please, just go."

"Bella," I pleaded, putting my hand against the door.

She pulled her lip between her teeth again and closed her eyes and the tears she was trying to hold back escaped. When she opened them, the sadness I saw there overwhelmed me. I moved closer to her again, wanting to take her in my arms and hold her until the pain was gone. She braced the door with one hand and pushed against my chest with the other.

"Go," she whispered. "Just go home, Edward, and leave me alone."

She pushed the door closed in my face, shutting me out physically as well as emotionally. I heard the bolt slide into place and her soft footsteps walking away.

_What the hell just happened? _

* * *

"Edward, what happened last night?" Alice asked over breakfast.

"Honestly, I'm really not sure," I replied. "Bella had gone to the ladies room, she was gone for a long time so I went looking for her. When I found her, she was outside, in the rain no less, getting her ass chewed by some guy."

"What? Who would he have done something like that?" Alice said, confused.

"It was James," I replied.

"James?" she asked.

"Um…Vanessa's dad. Bella kinda of froze up when she first saw him inside, but she shrugged it off. I didn't think it would be an issue," I explained.

"I still don't understand what he would be doing there though," she replied.

"He was with Victoria Hunt."

"The writer for the _Times_?" Alice asked.

"Yes," I answered, simply. "Anyway, he was yelling at her outside."

"You were out there?"

"No, I was inside. But-" I started before Alice cut me off.

"So Bella was outside, in the rain, fighting with that guy? And you did nothing? You just stood there and let him humiliate her like that?"

"I…uh…" I stammered. "I guess, yeah. But I came to tell you I was leaving. I was going to take her home. She never even saw me there, her back was to me."

"Ugh," Alice groaned. "That doesn't matter, Edward. You should have at least tried to defend her, done something at least."

I nodded. She was right. I should have done something, but I didn't. I couldn't change that now, but maybe I could make up for it somehow.

* * *

"What time is it?" Alice asked.

"Ten, why?" I replied. We were in her office looking over resumes of potential new hires.

Alice gave me a worried look, but didn't answer. She hit the speaker button on phone and called the receptionist.

"Lauren?"

"Yes, Mrs. Whitlock?" Lauren replied.

"Has Bella come in yet, I haven't seen her?" Alice questioned.

"No ma'am, I haven't seen her either."

"Thank you, Lauren."

_Bella was two hours late to work? How did I not realize this sooner?_

"She's never been late before," Alice said. "And she's never missed a day without letting me know. Edward, something is wrong."

"Don't over react yet," I said, trying to keep Alice calm. "Why don't you call her?"

Alice dialed the number on her phone and waited silently for an answer. A minute later, she shook her head and hung up the phone.

"Here," I said, pulling the phone closer to me. "I'll call Jessica and see if she knows anything."

"Jessica," I said when she answered. "This is Edward. Has Bella dropped off Vanessa already?"

"No, I was just getting ready to call her. She stayed with her parents last night."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll see you later."

As soon as I hung up the phone, it rang again and Alice hit the speaker button.

"Mrs. Whitlock?"

"Yes, Lauren," she said.

"Bella just walked in. She wants to see you."

"Thank you Lauren, send her in." I could see the relief on her face as she replied.

Bella walked in the door a second later and my heart leapt as our eyes met. I was as relieved as Alice was that she was okay.

"I should go," I said, standing up. I thought maybe Alice would want to talk to her in private and I didn't want to intrude.

"It's fine, Edward," Bella said, looking away from me. "I only need a minute."

The look on her face told me this was not going to be good.

* * *

---BPOV---

I woke up Monday morning stiff after sleeping, quite uncomfortably, on my parent's fold out couch. Renee had been so worried when I showed up looking like hell on Sunday morning, but she never asked any questions. I was relieved since I really didn't want to talk anyway, especially not with my mother. I'd felt so betrayed, by James as well as Edward. What had I done to deserve this?

James had called four times Sunday but each time I'd let it go to voice mail. I wasn't ready to deal with him yet. I really wasn't ready to deal with any of it yet. Instead, I sat and sulked the day away while my parents took Vanessa out to the movies and then dinner.

Thoughts of going back to work and facing Edward the next day left me unable to relax enough to sleep that night. I had no idea what I would say to him, or if I should just ignore him. I had never expected to fall for him the way I did, and that scared the hell out of me. Workplace relationships very rarely work out the way you want them to. While I knew that I wanted it to work out, I was afraid that he didn't –or couldn't – feel the same way about me. He's been through so much in such a short time and I only wanted to be there for him, to help him get through it, to wait patiently on the sidelines until he was ready.

Saturday had started out like a dream. Edward was so sweet and charming and being in his arms while we danced was like my own version of Heaven. And then James had to go and ruin it all for me…

I finally decided that I had two choices. One, I could go back to work and completely ignore the whole situation, Edward included. Two, I could resign and start looking for a new job.

The decision was made as soon as I came up with that second option. I was young enough that it wouldn't hurt me to have to start over. The idea of starting out in a new job was a little frightening, yes, but I had enough knowledge and experience to, hopefully, prevent me from starting out bottom rung. Aside from that, I wouldn't have to fight the growing attraction I felt for Edward. Not seeing him every day could be the thing I needed to get past all this.

So here I am, sitting in my car in the parking garage at work. I had written, and then rewritten my resignation letter to Alice three times this morning. It killed me to do this to her, I really like Alice, but I didn't see any other way. When the phone rang on the seat next to me I jumped. Seeing the number, I guessed it was Alice. I was two hours late after all. I sat there for a few more minutes, getting my bearings and then I grabbed my letter and got out of the car.

"Hey Lauren," I said in greeting at the reception desk. "Is she in?"

"Yeah," Lauren answered, a tinge of worry in her voice. "Edward is in with her right now. I'll call her and let her know you'd like to see her."

"Mrs. Whitlock?"

"Yes, Lauren," I heard Alice answer through the speaker.

"Bella just walked in. She wants to see you."

"Thank you Lauren, send her in."

I walked in and immediately locked eyes with Edward. He looked concerned, but he stood to leave. "I should go."

"It's fine, Edward," I said, turning my gaze from him to Alice. "I only need a minute."

"What is it Bella?" Alice asked, shakily.

_Here goes…_

I handed Alice the letter without saying anything. She gave me a puzzled look, but opened it anyway. Her eyes grew wide as she read through it and my heart sank when I saw a tear slide down her cheek.

"I see," she whispered.

"I'm very sorry for the short notice Alice, really."

Edward looked from my face to his sister's, confusion spelled out in his expression.

"Bella, please. I think you should reconsider this," Alice said softly.

"I don't really see any other way, Alice. I'm sorry," I replied.

"What about a leave of absence? Paid of course," she answered. "Bella I don't want to lose you over something like this."

"Alice," I said, shocked. "I don't…I don't know."

"At least consider the offer?" she asked. "Get back to me when you've decided."

"Um…okay. I'll…um…I'll call you, in a few days." I stuttered.

She nodded and forced a smile. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye."

I hurried to get outside, craving the fresh air. That really hadn't gone the way I'd planned for it to. This was supposed to be a clean break, no regrets. It was my escape from the feelings that I didn't want to be overtaken by.

I sat in the car for what felt like hours, just trying to plan my next move. I needed some space to think things through, a good stiff drink, and I needed to find some clarity. There was only one place I could think of that I could find all of those things.

I started the car and raced my way home. The need to escape was suddenly overwhelming. When I got home, I all but sprinted for the door. I dug through the hall closet for my suitcase and then hauled it to my bed. I packed the first things my hands touched, enough clothes to last a week or two. Then I grabbed a duffel bag, taking it into Vanessa's room to pack her things. After getting my bathroom things together in another small bag, I went to the kitchen to pack some snacks for the trip. It was just over one hundred fifty miles to my sanctuary and I wasn't planning on any stops along the way. I loaded the car and then ran next door to get Vanessa.

"Jess?" I called, walking through the front door.

"Bella?" she sounded surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I quit my job," I said in a rush as I grabbed Vanessa's coat.

"You what? Why? Bella, what happened?" Jessica's voice shook a little.

"I just…I need to get away for a bit," I explained. "I'll call you in a couple days, explain everything," I promised.

"You better," she threatened with a laugh. "And be careful."

"I will," I said, picking up my daughter. "I'll call you. I love you, pal. We'll be back in a week or so."

"Where are you headed anyway?" Jessica called across the lawn.

"To visit an old friend," I said, smiling. "Bye!"

~A/N- So, I know the outlook is a little dismal at this point, but there are clearer skies on the horizon. Thing's will get better for these two, I promise.

The announcement of the winners for the Sparkle Awards has been pushed back; I believe it said the 12th on the website. As soon as we know anything though it'll go up on my blog. Speaking of which, did anyone go check out the outfits our friends wore to the ball? If not, run on over there, I especially loved Bella's & Rose's gowns. Here's the link in case you don't know where to find it. Just remember to take out the (dot) and put in a .

One last thing, if you haven't read Emmet Vs. The Toilet yet, check it out and let me know what you think. I laughed so hard I cried while writing it.

The next outtake to add to the collection will be Bella's resignation letter to Alice. It should be there soon so don't forget to put the Outtakes on alert.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer-Steph owns them, I just like to play with them.

Author's Notes- So sorry about the wait on this one. Not only did I suffer from an ass kickin from the real world, _Muse_ did as well so the beta process took twice as long as well. So I didn't get the Sparkle Award, but I wanted to thank any and everyone who voted. You guys rock my world. Also, I just got word that Mr. Sullen himself is going to be stopping by for and interview with me & my girls. He'd like to answer some of the reader's questions so make sure you review and leave your questions for Edward.

Chapter Eighteen-

BPOV

The road opened up before me. I know running away from my problems wouldn't solve them, but I was hoping that getting away from them for a bit would help me be able to deal with them better. First and foremost, I'd have to deal with James. He's the father of my child and that isn't going to change anytime soon. We can't avoid each other indefinitely. Secondly, I had to decide what to do about my job. Alice had been more than generous in offering me a paid leave of absence. Any other employer wouldn't have given it so much as a thought, but she was special. I didn't really want to quit, but in my upset irrationality, that was the only option I could come up with. I want to make it work out there, but to do that I would have to deal with my final problem.

Edward

I had wanted so desperately to believe that he could, in time, come to feel the same feelings for me as I did for him. He has such a good soul and a courageous heart, but that night I saw something different. Was I expecting him to rescue me in my time of need, like a knight saving the princess from the dragon? No, not really, but any kind of gesture he could have made would have been better than simply walking away.

I'd been driving for about twenty minutes when my phone buzzed in the center console. I looked down to see a picture of Renee with Vanessa flashing on the screen.

"Hi Mom," I answered.

"Bella, where are you? Jessica called me, she was worried about you. She said you'd be gone for a week or so?" Renee said in a rush.

"I don't really want to get into all the details right now, Mom," I replied.

"I don't need the details, honey. I just want to know where you are and that you and Vanessa are okay."

"We're fine Mom, I promise. I'm just going to see a friend," I explained.

"What friend? Where are you going?" She was starting to get worked up so I had no choice but to tell her.

"Remember that summer Grams took me with her to visit her old friends for a few weeks before she brought me back to Seattle? Just before I turned seventeen."

"Yeah?" Renee asked, puzzled.

"Well, I made a friend there. We've kept in touch a little over the years, and I have an open invitation to visit that I've never taken him up on."

"Him? Bella, you're going to visit a man? Is this a new boyfriend I don't know about?" I could tell she was getting excited about that possibility.

"God, Mom. No, it's not like that. Jacob is just a friend. Really."

"Well, where does this Jacob live, Bella?" she asked.

"He lives on the reservation, Mom, in La Push," I said. "Look, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I'm fine. Vanessa is fine. Just don't worry."

I slowed to a stop in front or a small, square red house. Since Vanessa had fallen asleep on the drive, I'd made it without stopping at all. I sat in the car for a few minutes, gazing at nothing in particular through the windshield.

"Mama," Vanessa said through a heavy yawn.

"We're here baby."

I'd met Jacob when I was sixteen. My grandmother, who I spent the summers with in Southern California, had grown up in La Push. Her closest friend, Sylvia Black, was Jacob's grandmother. That summer, Sylvia fell extremely ill. At the end of July when Grams and I made the car trip back from California, we stopped in La Push before going on to Seattle. Grams was afraid she wouldn't have another chance to see her friend before it was too late. She'd been right, Sylvia passed away six days after we arrived. We stayed for another two weeks so Grams could be there for the funeral.

Jacob and I had become quick friends. His sunny disposition brightened every dreary day I was there. We spent most of our time on the beach, telling each other stories and hanging out with his friends. We told each other our secrets and made a pact that basically said if we were still single at fifty years old, we'd marry each other so we had someone to spend our "glory years" with. The night before I left to go home, Jacob decided to give me something special to remember him by. My first kiss. Really, it was very memorable, because it was also his first kiss. It was sloppy and wet and probably the most ridiculously unromantic first kiss ever, but it was sweet.

I'd only seen Jacob a few times in the years since then. We'd hung out after we both graduated high school. When James and I broke up I'd come to visit him for a few days. Then when Vanessa was born, he came to visit us in Seattle. He always told me he was there if I needed him and that I'd always have a place to go if I needed one.

I got out of the car and helped Vanessa out of her car seat. "Come on, let's go see Uncle Jake."

I knocked on the door and it opened up to a very beautiful, albeit surprised, looking girl with warm cinnamon colored eyed and red-gold hair.

"Hello," the girl said cautiously.

"It's Lizzie, right?" I asked. Jake had told me about his girlfriend the last time I talked to him on the phone. "I'm Bella, Jake's friend. Is he here?"

"Yeah," she laughed.

Lizzie opened the door wide and stepped aside to let us in. I heard Jacob call out from another room.

"Who's here, babe?"

"Oh, just a blast from your past!" I called out before she could answer him.

Not a minute passed before he came running through the room. Jake picked me up in a big bear hug and swung me around like a child.

"Isabella Swan!" he exclaimed, setting me down again. "Oh my god! Is that Vanessa?"

"Yes," Vanessa giggled.

"Come here you," Jake said, picking her up.

I couldn't help but laugh. Jake was such a sucker for kids.

"Wow. You know what?" he asked her. Vanessa shook her head so he continued. "You are even prettier than you're mom," he said, eliciting another slew of giggles from her.

Lizzie shook her head at him and turned to me. "Would you like a cup of coffee, Bella?"

"Oh yeah, thanks," I replied.

"Come on," Jake said, raising his eyebrows in a knowing look. "Let's go sit down in the living room and you can tell me all about it."

I nodded my head and followed him to the couch. Somehow, Jacob always knew when something was up. It was almost like he had a sixth sense or something. He set Vanessa down on the floor in front of the couch. She saw a small stack of toys in the corner that Jake kept out for when his nephews visited, and toddled off to play with them.

Lizzie came in a few minutes later with a cup of coffee in each hand and a jacket tucked under her arm. "I'm gonna run to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner. Bella, will you be staying?"

I laughed shakily and nodded. "Uh, yeah. I'm kind of…running away for a week or so. I hope you don't mind, I could get a hotel room or something."

"Don't be silly," she said, patting me on the arm. "I don't mind at all."

"She seems really sweet, Jake," I said after Lizzie left.

"She is," he laughed. "I'm crazy about her."

"I'm glad," I said, smiling.

"Now start at the beginning," he said.

I told Jacob the whole sordid story, from Edward's loss to our almost kiss to finding out about Victoria; how sweet Edward had been at the ball. Then I told him about the fight with James and about Edward leaving me alone in the rain. Everything just seemed to spill out and all the while Jacob just sat and listened. I wasn't sure when I'd started crying, but when I finally stopped talking, Jacob reached up and wiped the wetness from my cheeks with a tissue.

"I don't get it, Bells. Why would you just up and quit your job over a man?" he asked. "I mean, I get that you love him, or whatever, and that he doesn't feel the same way… "

"I don't know Jake," I said with a sniff. "It just seemed like the only way, ya know?"

"Well, why didn't you just talk to him? Maybe there was a misunderstanding or something. You never even gave the guy a chance to explain."

I looked up at him and shrugged. "I know. I don't really get it either, to tell you the truth. I just…just didn't wanna deal."

"Look, I could be all nice and sugar coat everything to make you feel better, but I'm not going to," Jacob said. "Nothing worth having in life ever comes easily. You can't just run away every time you're afraid of getting hurt. It's gonna happen; it's just a part of life, Bells."

He was right, and I knew it.

"Now," he said. "First thing tomorrow, you're gonna call that boss of yours and tell her how wrong you were to try to quit and that you will accept her offer for the leave of absence."

"Okay," I replied, nodding. "You're right. Alice has been great, I never should have done that to her. I should have just talked to her."

"Say that one part for me again. I never hear it enough," Jake said with a laugh.

"What part?" I asked before it dawned on me. "Oh! You were right Jake."

"Thanks," he answered with a smug grin on his face. "I know."

We sat silently, watching Vanessa play, for a few minutes before Jacob looked over at me and spoke again.

"Okay, so we've worked out the job thing," he started. "Now, how about we work out the thing with James?"

I groaned unhappily. "Yeah," I agreed.

Lizzie came bustling through the door then, arms loaded with bags. Jacob, abandoning our talk for the moment, jumped up to help her out.

"Aww," Lizzie said sweetly as Jacob took most of her load. "Thanks baby."

He leaned down and kissed her gently. "Sure, sure. Anytime."

After dinner, Jacob helped me get the rest of our things from the car. I followed him to the small spare bedroom and sat down on the twin size bed.

"Thanks Jake," I said.

"It's why I'm here Bells," he stated, simply. "Get some sleep, we can talk more tomorrow."

The next morning, as agreed upon with Jacob, I called Alice.

"Bella," Alice said after we worked out the details of my leave time. "I know things seem hopeless right now, but you have to give him time. He's been though a lot in the last three months."

"I know," I replied. "I just…I don't even know. It was irrational, yeah, but I just felt so abandoned."

"You know Bella," Alice said, almost cautiously. "I don't really want to get in the middle of all of this, but he wasn't abandoning you. He never even realized you saw him there."

"What?" I asked, in shock. "What do you mean Alice?"

"I wasn't supposed to say anything, he wants to apologize," she replied, not really answering my question.

"Alice?" I said, my voice stern.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really don't want to be in the middle of this," she apologized. "You really should talk to him though."

"I will," I sighed. "Just not yet. Give me a few days to sort through stuff, I'll call him."

"Okay," Alice said. "I'll talk to you soon, alright? Take care."

"Bye Alice."

I hung up the phone feeling a little bit better. I was lucky to have Alice; she is hands down, the best boss ever. One thing I still wasn't sure of though, was what she had meant about Edward not knowing I saw him. How could he not know? Better question, why didn't he say, or do something? Why did he just leave?

"Hey!" I shouted.

I rolled over in the bed and tried to cover my head with the blankets. I wasn't sure what time it was but it surely wasn't time to be out of bed yet. Truth be told, I wasn't even sure what day it was anymore. The days in La Push had a way of running into each other. I'd spent the first few days with Jacob, working through my troubles; which really, in the grand scheme of things, were not nearly as significant as I'd made them out to be. James and I worked things out over the phone, both of us apologizing profusely to the other. I'd even accepted a lunch invite from Victoria so we could get to know each other a little bit. The next few days I spent with Lizzie, who really is the perfect girl for Jacob. She's sweet and kind, but definitely knows how to put him in his place when he needs it. Vanessa had even made some new friends; Jacob's nephews came over to visit along with Jacob's sister Rachel.

"Bella get up," Jacob said as he ripped the blanket from my head.

"It's not time yet," I grumbled, trying to get the blanket back from him.

"For one, yes it's time, Bella. It's ten o'clock, your daughter has been up for two hours already. Two, Lizzie wants to go to the store and Ness wants to go too but needs clothes. And three," he paused, giving me the eye.

"Three?" I asked.

"There's someone here to see you," Jacob stated.

"What?" I asked, confused. "Who? No one knows where I am."

"Get up and go see," he said with a wink.

I got Vanessa's clothes out and handed them to Jacob. He took them and smiled. "I'll have him wait out back."

"Uh, yeah…okay."

_Him? Him who?_

I got dressed in a rush and went to the back door, not even bothering to put on shoes. When I opened the door, all I could see was a huge bouquet of the loveliest white lilies I'd ever seen. A short, blonde, pre-teen boy leaned around the flowers and smiled at me.

"A guy paid me twenty bucks to bring these to you," he said.

"Thanks," I replied, taking the flowers from him.

The boy turned and left without another word. I stood there, looking around for a minute before I noticed there was a card in the flowers. I returned inside and set the vase down on the kitchen counter before removing the small white envelope. I opened the card and read the unfamiliar writing.

_Bella,_

_Please meet me at First Beach. I'll be waiting there…_

A/N- I know you're probably all sayin WTF Mystyc?!? Where's Edward. But we'll catch up with him again in the next chapter.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes- This chapter was kinda hard for me. I had it how I thought I wanted it but then my lovely beta, _museinpinksocks, _convinced me that I was missing something. So I went back through, gave it a lot of thought and then added another scene into the middle. I gotta say, she was right, as she usually is, and it definitely made the whole chapter that much better. So thanks to her, I'd be lost without you babe. On another note, _muse_ & I are collaborating on a one-shot for the 2010 TwiFic AutoErotica Writer's Challenge. When it's done and submitted, I get the info on where to find it and all that shit. And lastly, I just wanted to say that I've noticed a surge in new story alerts and people adding me to their fav's list and I am just beyond excited about that. So thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing and recommending this story, it means more to me than I could ever say.

Chapter Nineteen

---EPOV---

I paced up and down the beach for what seemed like hours. Occasionally I would bend to pick up a flat rock and attempt to skip it across the water. Each time I heard a car, I stopped and looked to the road, waiting. I had no idea if she would really come. Truth be told, I really wasn't counting on it. I'd hurt her more than I'd ever realized and if she decided not to forgive me, I wouldn't blame her. It had taken me three days to get Alice to tell me what Bella had decided about her job and another two days after that to get Jessica to finally tell me where Bella was. I couldn't believe it at first, why would Bella come here of all places? I'd come to this beach once before, an entire lifetime ago. Or so it seemed now anyway. Angela had brought me to First Beach to whale watch shortly after we were married. She always said it was one of her favorite places growing up. It was only a fifteen minute jaunt from Forks to get here.

I heard the grating of tires on the road and turned to check, only to be disappointed yet again. Maybe Alice was right about waiting for Bella to come to me herself. Maybe I should just go home now. What was I going to say to her anyway? All I had been able to come up with so far was "I'm sorry" and that wasn't going to be enough. I couldn't put into words what Bella had come to mean to me. I needed her forgiveness almost as much as I needed air to breathe. That thought alone scared the living shit out of me. How I had come to depend on this one person was beyond me. The more important question was why?

The sound of gravel crunching underneath car tires was undeniable this time and I knew I was no longer alone. I took a deep breath and then turned toward the parking area. Her car was there, and she still sat behind the wheel. Her eyes were closed and from the way her lips moved, ever so slightly, it looked as if she were saying something. Or perhaps singing along with the radio? I stood still for a minute, just watching her. When at last she opened the door, I started making my way to her. Bella looked in my direction and my heart nearly stopped. She was breath taking. She was wearing a brown skirt that hit just above the knees with a pair of white leggings and black flip flop shoes. She wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt. Her hair was down, blowing wildly in the wind. Her eyes were just as warm as I remembered and her smile was soft.

"Hi," she said quietly when I reached her.

"Bella, I am so sorry," I blurted without a thought.

_Smooth, real smooth…_

She clasped her hands in front of her and looked down at them, laughing. "You know what? I'm sorry too."

…w_hat?_

I looked at her, confused. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

"For running. For not giving you the benefit of the doubt. For not talking to you," she explained. "Alice told me that you didn't know…that I saw you."

"She did?" I asked.

Bella nodded, her eyes never leaving mine.

I reached over and took her hand between my own. Instantly, I felt strangely calm, relaxed. I could see the tears in her eyes, ready to spill over at any moment. "Bella, I should have been there for you and I'm so sorry that I wasn't. I should have done something- anything - to help, I know that, but I can't change it now. All I can do now is ask you to forgive me and hope that you will."

"Of course I forgive you," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek with her free hand.

I pulled her into my arms, wrapping them around her and Bella laid her head on my shoulder and sighed heavily. Time seemed to stop as we embraced. I could no longer hear the cries of the gulls or the waves crashing into the shore. It was just Bella and I. In that moment, nothing else mattered. She was here with me and she'd forgiven me. She sniffled a few times and then looked up at me with a half smile on her face before pulling back a little.

"So what do we do now?" she asked.

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say. Bella dropped her arms and shook her head. She took a few steps away from me - towards the water - but then turned back to face me. A look of determination spread across her face.

"Edward," she said, a little timidly. "I don't usually do this. I mean, usually I can control my emotions so much better. When it comes to you though, it's all up in the air. I'm so out of my element here, this is unlike anything I have ever felt before."

"I know exactly what you mean," I chuckled.

And I did know what she meant. I loved Angela more that I could ever express, but the need to be near Bella, was more intense than anything I'd ever felt. It was like we were kindred spirits. Obviously, I will always love Angela; there is nothing that could erase those feelings. Falling in love with Bella though, would be so easy to do. Almost too easy, and I wasn't ready for that yet.

"I just…I know it's too soon Edward. I just want you to know that when you are ready-" she paused, sighing deeply. "I want you to know that I'll still be here Edward. If you…if you want me, I mean. I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't ask you to do that Bella," I said, shaking my head. "I have a lot of shit to work through."

"I know," she nodded. "I know that. And I want to be here to help you. Every step of the way Edward, that's what friends do."

"I won't deny that I have feelings for you Bella. I'm not sure what exactly they are yet, but they are there," I said. "You are right though, it is too soon."

Bella stepped right up in front of me and raised her hand to cup my cheek. "I'm not going anywhere Edward. I promise. We're friends first and foremost. I'll wait for you. As long as it takes I'll be here."

I nodded, lost in the chocolaty heaven of her eyes. "Thank you."

Bella smiled and nodded.

She was going to wait for me to be ready. This woman - this incredible, beautiful, woman – just promised to wait for me, without question.

_Wow…_

In that moment I realized what Angela had been trying to tell me before. It was time. My life had been on hold for long enough. For the first time in almost four months, I saw things with a little bit of clarity. There was one place that I needed to go, in order to get my last bit of closure. While I would keep my promise to love her forever, I needed to let Angela go. I needed to say my final goodbye.

"There's some place I need to go, would you come with me?" I asked.

"Sure," she said. "Where to?"

"To see Angela."

---BPOV---

"Really?" I asked cautiously. "Edward, I don't know."

Never having been a huge fan of cemeteries, I wasn't so sure that this would be a good idea. The only time I'd ever been in one was when my Grams had passed away. Charlie visited her grave several times each year. On her birthday, Memorial Day, even on Mother's Day, you could find him there with huge bouquets of flowers. He could sit and "talk" to her for hours. He always invited me along but I could never bring myself to go with him.

"Please Bella? I haven't visited her grave since the funeral. I don't think that I can go there alone," he said.

"Okay," I nodded. "I'll go with you."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me, really," he stated.

"Why don't you follow me back to Jake's house to drop off my car?"

Edward nodded.

Jacob, Lizzie, and Vanessa were still gone when we got to the house so I decided to leave him a note. I knew he wouldn't mind watching her for awhile longer, but I didn't want him to worry.

When I got into Edward's car I was assailed by a sweet, yet strong, floral aroma. I looked around; trying to locate the source of the smell, when I notice the whole back seat of his car was full of different floral arrangements.

"Did you buy the whole store Edward?" I laughed.

"No," he said bashfully. "I just wanted to make sure I covered everything."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Edward turned sideways in the seat and looked at me before reaching back to point at the flowers.

"This one," he started, pointing to some freshly cut lilacs. "Symbolizes first love."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Um…the forget-me-not is for true love, heliotrope for devotion. Bellflowers say 'I'm thinking of you' while the red carnations say that my heart aches."

"How do you know all this stuff?" I asked, completely astounded.

"Well," he said. "We researched a lot trying to pick the perfect wedding flowers."

"Ah," I said in understanding.

"Plus, there was a poster in the flower shop with different meanings for each type of flower."

"Yeah…see that was more the answer I was expecting. Most guys don't know dick about flowers," I laughed. "So what did the lilies you gave me mean?"

"Well, lilies are for purity," he answered thoughtfully. "But mostly I picked lilies because I remembered how much you liked the ones Alice had on all the tables at the ball."

"I loved them by the way, they were very pretty," I replied as he righted himself in the seat.

"I'm glad," he said. "You ready?"

"Are you?" I asked.

"I think so," he sighed. "I need to do this."

"Will you tell me about her?" I inquired. I wasn't really sure how much I wanted to know, or if he'd even want to talk about her, but I couldn't help being curious.

He looked at me and smiled. "Well, she was beautiful. She was smart and funny; vibrant and outgoing. I used to tease her a lot because she never met a stranger. The woman could talk to anybody. She had the kindest, most generous heart and she always gave so much of herself to everyone around her. Angela was like…like my own ray of sunshine; warm and caring."

"I would've liked to have known her," I said.

"I really think she would have liked you Bella. You have a lot of the same qualities."

"Really?" I asked.

"You know, for a girl as smart as you are, you don't see yourself very clearly," he teased. "Bella, you are one of the kindest, most caring, beautiful people I have ever met. It's not easy for me to admit this, but you really remind me a lot of Angela."

"That's really sweet Edward," I said, almost in a whisper.

"It's the truth," he said with a genuine smile.

---EPOV---

I stopped the car in front of the small cemetery in Forks. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I had to reach down deep to find strength enough to even get out of the car, but somehow, I managed. Bella was still sitting in the front seat, looking a little nervous.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked as I opened her door.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine, really."

I put a hand out to help her from the car. "Thank you, Bella."

She tilted her head to the side a little and gave me a seemingly forced grin.

She took my hand and got out of the car, stepping to the side, and I shut her door for her. I opened the back door and started pulling out the flowers. I heard Bella stifle a giggle behind me. When I turned to look at her, she had the most ridiculous look on her face, all mock innocent, and I could tell she was trying her damndest to hold in the laughter.

"You find something funny about this?" I asked, feigning insult.

She shook her head instead of answering.

"Just spit it out, Bella," I said.

"I'm sorry," she replied between laughs. "It's just…"

I just stood there looking at her, eyebrow raised.

"It's just…" Again with the giggling? "That is a lot of damn flowers, Edward. I think maybe you over did it? Just a little bit."

"Well," I sighed, taking the last of the bouquets from the back seat. "I am nothing, if not thorough."

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "It's very sweet."

"Maybe you're right," I said. "Should I leave some here?"

She grabbed four of the smaller arrangements. "You know what? I think she'd like them. Let's go."

I picked up the remainder of the flowers and led the way. Along the way, we passed by a little, old woman. She looked up at me and smiled as we passed.

"What lovely flowers," the woman exclaimed. "I'm sure they'll just brighten up all of the graves you visit today."

Bella almost choked she laughed so hard at this. The old woman continued on her way without another word.

"Sorry," Bella apologized again.

"You can stop apologizing," I said with a chuckle. "You were right; I probably did over do it."

I led her to the back, west corner of the cemetery. When I stopped, she stopped behind me. I turned and looked at her over my shoulder and she gave me an encouraging smile.

_I can do this…_

Seeing my hesitation, Bella stepped out in front of me and placed the flowers she carried in front of the headstone. She touched the marble gently as she read the inscription.

_**Angela Weber Cullen**_

_**April 3, 1985- January 26, 2009**_

_**Beloved Wife & Mother**_

_**The past is history. The future, a mystery.**__**  
**__**But we will hold dear our memories of her,**__**  
**__**her smile, the sound of her laughter...forever.**_

"That's really beautiful, Edward."

I nodded, but couldn't find words to speak.

"It's okay," Bella whispered. "Go ahead, talk to her."

"I can't," I said, shaking my head. "I don't even know what to say."

"Yes you do, Edward," Bella stated. She reached up and put her hand over my heart. "Everything you want to tell her is in here."

All I could do was stand there, looking into her eyes. She nodded her head and smiled. "You can do this, Edward."

I gulped and took a step forward. Then I knelt down next to my wife's grave and set down the flowers. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before looking back to Bella.

"I know that I asked you to be here, but do you think I could have a few minutes alone?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied, putting her hand on my shoulder. "I'll just wait by the car okay."

I dropped my head into my hands as Bella walked away. This was proving to be much more difficult than I'd anticipated.

"God, I don't even know where to start," I said. I tried to picture Angela sitting there next to me but it just wasn't working. She didn't belong there, not even just in my head.

"Jay," I started. "He's um…he's getting big. He's getting a new baby cousin in a few months. I think he'll like that. He'll be a good cousin, I think. He babbles a lot now, and he's been trying to walk. I wish you could see him Ang; he's starting to look so much more like you. He has your smile…"

I continued on about Jay for awhile, absentmindedly. I told her all the little things he's done, faces he makes, how much he seems to adore Jasper. I told her how he cries at night sometimes and I can never get him to calm down as easily as she always could. I told her that he misses her.

"And me? Well…I'm a wreck most days. There are times that I don't even want to get out of bed and face the world. Just when I start to think it's getting a little easier though, something reminds me of everything that I lost and then I have to start all over again. I'm just trying to take things day by day now. Alice and Mom help out a lot with Jay, so that makes things a bit better. I have a friend at work that I talk to sometimes. She's been really great, her name is Bella. She actually came here with me today, I asked her to. I didn't think I could do this alone." At some point, tears had started to fall and I was sobbing now, hard.

"She's helped me a lot really, but it's confusing with her. There's this thing, I don't know what it is. When she's near me though, I feel almost whole again. It makes everything that much more bearable. I just don't want …shit...I don't want to let myself fall for her, if it means that I'm losing you Ang. I promised you forever. I don't know how to do this without you here. I know you said it was time, I get that now. I just don't know how…to move on…where to go from here. I'm so lost…"

I dropped my head back into my hands and gave myself over to the grief that I was feeling. I sat there for…I don't know how long, letting my pain and anguish consume me. I knew Bella was waiting for me, and that she'd want to get back to her daughter, but I couldn't make myself leave.

"Excuse me?" a soft voice said behind me.

I turned to see who was there and saw the old woman from earlier. She offered a warm smile and then sat down next to me.

"Who is she?" the woman asked, pointing to the headstone.

"My…my wife," I replied, looking up to meet her gaze.

The woman looked from me to the headstone, then toward the parking lot.

"I'm sorry," she replied. "I thought that woman I saw you with before was your wife or maybe a girlfriend."

I took a deep breath and then shook my head. "She wants to be."

"Do you want her to be?" the woman asked me.

I didn't know how to answer that question. There was something about this woman though, that made me feel like I could tell her everything. She just had that grandmotherly aura about her.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

She didn't say anything, but I could see the doubt in her eyes.

"Do I care for her?" I questioned. "Undoubtedly. I just don't…I don't know how to go forward, without letting go."

"Can I tell you a story?" she asked.

I nodded.

"When I was a young girl, seventeen years old, I met a boy at a church picnic. This boy, Albert, was quite charming. We spent all afternoon talking, getting to know each other. Before he left that day, he asked me out on a date, and I accepted. Albert and I dated for four months, a very short time even in those days, and then married. He was…well, he was the stars in my sky. He was the blood in my veins. We loved each other intensely. It was the best year of my life."

"Best year?" I asked. I hadn't missed the lack of plurality there.

"Yes, the best year. Shortly after we were married, Albert was called away to fight in the war. He never made it home, and I was devastated. It was like the world just stopped spinning."

"How?" I asked. "How did you get through it?"

"Well, it wasn't easy. It took a lot of time," she said sadly. "But I knew in my heart that Albert would have wanted me to go on. He wouldn't want me to be sad forever. After a few months, it started to get a little bit easier. I went out now and then with friends, or my sisters. A few years later, I met someone and fell in love again. We married and had children and it's been a wonderful life with him."

"But how do you do it?" I said. "I mean…"

"How do you embrace a new future, without letting go of your past?" she asked, as if she picked the words out of my head.

"Right, exactly. I mean, I promised her," I stopped for a moment, pointed at the headstone, then continued. "I promised to love her forever. How can I keep that promise if I let myself fall in love with someone else?"

The woman smiled. "Your wife, Angela, will always be with you. She'll always be a part of you, of who you are. You promised to love her forever, and you will, but your heart has room in it for more love. It's okay to let yourself feel that. It's okay to let yourself love, and to be loved again."

"Thank you," I said, sincerely. "I should go. But here, I want you to take these."

I handed her the bouquet of daisies. She smiled and took them from me. I stood up and then helped her to her feet before giving her a hug.

"Thank you," I said again.

"You're welcome dear," she answered.

The woman left then. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking down at the headstone and all of the flowers.

"I guess…" I said in a whisper. "I guess this is…uh…I guess it's goodbye then. I love you Angela. I'll love you always."

I turned and walked toward the parking lot, feeling more at peace than I had in weeks.

---BPOV—

"Thank you for going with me today, Bella," Edward said as he stopped the car in front of Jacob's house. "I know it was kind of an unconventional thing to do on a date, but I appreciate it none the less."

"This was a date?" I asked, teasing.

"Okay, you're right. Maybe not a _date_ date," he laughed.

"Regardless of what it was, I did actually have a good time," I replied.

Edward looked over at me, almost apologetically.

"Bella?" he said. "I don't really know what I'm doing here…with us I mean."

"I know," I replied, taking his hand. "Look, we don't have to define anything for anyone. Remember what I said before? We are friends first and foremost. We can take things one day at a time and just see what happens from here on out."

"I'd like that Bella, if you're really sure about this," he answered.

"I'm sure Edward," I assured him. "It'll be okay, really."

"Thank you," he said again.

I smiled and nodded a little. "I should go in. I need to check on Vanessa."

"Yeah," he sighed. "When are you coming back to Seattle?"

"Well, I think I'll stay here another day or two. Probably Wednesday?" I said.

"And work?" he asked.

"I was thinking that I'd go back next Monday."

"Good," he sighed.

I reached for the door handle, hesitantly.

"Bella?" Edward said again right before I stepped out. I looked at him questioningly. "Um…will you call me? When you get home, I mean?"

"I will," I replied. "Bye Edward."

"Bye Bella."


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer - Steph owns everything that I don't.

Chapter 20

_Two months later…_

---EPOV---

"Hello?" I answered the phone, groggily. I squinted up at the clock on the bedside table.

_Who calls at seven a.m. on a Saturday?_

"Oh my God, Edward. You're seriously still in bed?"

"Bella?" I asked, still not quite coherent.

"Really, Edward? Get up!" she demanded. "We have a lot to get done by two."

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I asked, finally sitting up in bed.

"It's Saturday, the party is at two. We have to get everything ready still," she replied.

_Right… the party…_

"Okay, I'm up. I'll be over as soon as I can shower and get dressed. Alice is keeping Jay for awhile so we can get everything done."

"Alright," she said. "I'll see ya in a few."

* * *

"Wow…" I said, staring at the pile of decorations and party favors in the middle of Bella's living room. "You go all out for this shit don't you?"

"What do you mean? It's just a few streamers and balloons," she answered back.

"A few?" I asked. "Bella, you bought them out!"

"Shut up and go get me the tape," she replied with a smirk.

I grabbed the tape from the kitchen table and then met her back in the living room.

"Okay," she said "Just hold these for a minute."

Bella handed me two huge rolls of crepe paper streamers. One was a light blue color and the other was white with the words "HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY" printed on it repeatedly. She climbed up onto a chair in the corner of the room and attached the ends of the streamers to the ceiling.

"Now what?" I asked when she got down.

Bella moved the chair to the center of the room and climbed back up. "Bring them over here."

I handed her the rolls and she twisted them together before attaching it to the ceiling again. She then handed me back the rolls and moved to the corner opposite the one we started at and repeated the process. When she got down, we moved again and started a line going the other way, making a giant, streamer X of sorts across the ceiling.

"Okay, now we need balloons," she stated.

I picked up the package of balloons and settled myself down on the couch. I blew up balloon after balloon until I thought my head would explode and Bella taped them all up in just the right spots. I had to give it to her, it did look pretty good.

"Oh!" she said when an alarm sounded from the kitchen. "The cake must be done."

I followed her into the kitchen and watched as she pulled a pan from the oven. It wasn't just the average rectangular pan either, it was odd shaped.

"Here," she said, handing me a picture. "This is what it'll look like when I'm finished."

"Bella, how are you going to turn that…" I pointed to the cake. "…into the dog in this picture."

"With frosting," she said. "Have you ever been to a kid's party before Edward?"

"I can't really say that I have, no," I answered.

Bella laughed. "This needs to cool before I can do anything with it. Come on, you can help me fill the gift bags."

"Gift bags?" I questioned. "For who?"

"Who do you think, for all the other kids," she stated.

"I'm sorry, this whole birthday party thing is just over my head I guess," I said with a shrug. "Thanks again for doing this Bella."

"It's fine," she smiled. "I like doing it. You should have seen Vanessa's first birthday party. This is nothing compared to how over the top that was."

"I'm sure Jay will love it," I said before leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek.

Bella blushed profusely and pushed me away playfully. I followed her back out to the living room and sat down next to her on the floor. We filled up the little gift bags while chatting idly about nothing in particular. When that was done, she instructed me to retrieve the folding table from her garage. When I came back with it, she covered it with a tablecloth and then started putting wrapped gifts on top of it.

"Jesus, what did you buy him?" I asked.

"Just a few toys and some clothes," she said, innocently.

"A few?" I replied. "This is more than a few Bella."

"I know," she answered bashfully. "I couldn't resist though. Where's your stuff?"

"In a box in my back seat. I should go get it and, um…"

"Let me guess. Wrap it?" Bella said, cutting me off.

"Yeah," I agreed, laughing. "It's been a busy week."

"Okay," she said. "You do that and I'll go get the cake out of the pan."

I got up, stretched my legs, and walked outside. I grabbed the box from my backseat and headed back toward the house. I looked over and saw Jessica sitting on her front porch drinking from a coffee mug.

"You're here early Edward," she mused.

"I'm just helping Bella set up. You're bringing the girls over later, right?" I asked.

"Wouldn't miss it," she smiled.

"Great! See ya later on then."

I walked through the living room to the kitchen and set the box down on the table. Bella had set out the wrapping paper for me already. She was standing at the counter, adding ingredients to the bowl of her Kitchenaid mixer. She looked up briefly when I came in, but quickly went back to what she was doing. I started pulling things out of the box as she started the mixer, but my curiosity got the better of me. I walked up behind her, laid my hands on the counter, caging her between my arms, and rested my chin on her shoulder. The skin on my chin tingled at the contact.

"Whatcha making now?" I asked.

She turned her head to meet my curious gaze and smiled. "Frosting."

"Why didn't you just buy the little cans from the store?" I asked.

"Oh, this is so much better than that crap," she said.

Bella turned off the mixer and then scooped a tiny amount of the frosting onto her finger. She turned to face me and held her finger up, offering it to me.

_Well, this is new…_

My relationship with Bella was simple. We went out together once in awhile, sometimes we'd get a movie and stay home with the kids. We talked at work, occasionally had lunch together. We spent time with my family, having dinner now and then, and we talked on the phone a few times a week. I guess most people would define that as dating, but we'd never attached a title to what we were. We didn't have to. We were still just Edward and Bella. But there were plenty of things that we hadn't done together as well, and this was one of them.

Bella sensed my hesitation. She shrugged her shoulders at me and then stuck her finger in her mouth, sucking off the frosting herself. Not gonna lie, it was hot. My jaw dropped and she smiled, obviously pleased with herself.

"It's really good, Edward. You should try it," she said, smug as hell.

I nodded my head once and she turned and reached back to the bowl for a little more of the frosting. She once again held her finger out in offering. I leaned forward, my eyes never leaving hers, and took her finger into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tip, sucking gently.

"Mmm," I said, leaning back a little. Bella's face was so flushed it was almost comical. "That is good."

"You doubted me?" she asked.

"Never," I whispered. "Actually, I think I want some more."

Bella shook her head. "I need it for the cake, Edward. You can't eat it all."

I moved my right hand from the counter to grab the frosting covered spatula from her bowl. Three things happened then. First, Bella turned, very quickly, trying to get the spatula from me. Second, as she turned her hair, which was loose down her back, whipped me in the face. Third, I jerked back, hard; partly in shock from being hair-whipped and partly from Bella's sudden movement.

".God." Bella said. She turned back to face me with a murderous glare.

"Oh," I said, trying to mask a laugh. Apparently when I jerked my hand back, I had inadvertently smeared frosting across her face with the spatula.

"Oh?" she asked, all serious.

I lost it. The look on her face was priceless. I felt bad about it, sure, but it was damn funny too.

"I'm not seeing the humor in this, Edward," she said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"I'm sorry," I said between laughs. I grabbed the towel from the counter next to her and took it to the sink to wet it. "Here, let me."

I wiped the frosting from her face, gently. Her anger subsided and she smacked me playfully in the stomach.

"It was kinda your fault," I said. "If you hadn't moved so damn fast…"

"Edward," she said, effectively cutting me off. "Shut up."

Bella grabbed my face in her hands and crashed her lips to mine eagerly. The sensation I felt as her tongue collided with mine was out of this world. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She sighed into my mouth and fuck me if it wasn't the sexiest sound I'd ever heard. When we parted, both panting, she smiled up at me.

"That was…" she started.

"Unexpected," I smiled. "But nice."

"Yeah?" she asked, bashfully.

"Yes," I agreed. "Very."

I closed the distance and kissed her again, gently this time. "Now, show me how you're gonna make a dog outta that cake."

I watched for over an hour as Bella transformed the shapeless cake into a cute little puppy by covering it in little stars of frosting she squeezed out of a bag. It was brown with a couple black spots and a blue collar with a little pink tongue hanging out of its mouth. It looked just as good as any cake from the bakery would, if not better.

"There," she said, stepping back to look at her work. "What do you think?"

"I think you are amazing," I said, smiling. "It looks great. I'm sure he'll love it."

"Good," she replied. "Now, what's left?"

I shrugged. "I think we have everything covered, don't we?"

"Well, we decorated, wrapped gifts, made the treat bags, and the cake is done," she said, counting things off on her fingers.

"So we can relax for a bit then?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh!" Bella cried. "Refreshments!"

* * *

---BPOV---

I set out the veggie tray and crackers I'd bought on the table, along with a couple bottles of soda and some juice. Nothing really big, Edward already thought I was getting carried away with this whole thing. A baby only turns one once though, so I wanted it to be special. Jay may not be my baby, but I loved him like he was. He and Edward had become a part of our little family. Vanessa even referred to him as "her Jay."

A few minutes later, I found Edward in the living room, napping on the couch. He looked so peaceful there that I couldn't bear to wake him up. We still had a little over an hour before anyone would be here, so I just let him sleep while I went to get dressed.

The face I saw in the mirror looked so vibrant I almost didn't recognize myself. Even more than an hour later, I still had that first kiss glow. And what a kiss! It was amazing, and perfect, and so worth the wait. I can't even describe how wonderful it felt to finally be in his arms, kissing him. I'd wanted to do it so many times before, but chickened out, always unsure if he would be ready to take that next step. This at least, was a sign that we were moving in the right direction.

The last two months had been nice. Edward and I spent a lot of time together, just like any couple in the early dating stages. Only we weren't. Though I wanted so much more from him, I never pushed the issue. I never even brought it up. I didn't need to be labeled as his "girlfriend" to know that he cared for me, that we had something special together. None of that mattered. The only thing that did was that we were both here, together, making this work out on our own terms.

I heard a shuffle behind me and looked to see Edward standing in the doorway. He smiled and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder and inhaled deeply.

"You always smell so good," he said.

"Thanks," I laughed.

"Alice just called, she'll be here in ten minutes with the birthday boy," he explained.

"Okay," I said. "I think everything is ready. Did you have a nice nap?"

"It was alright," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

I turned and kissed his jaw and he hugged me tighter into him. We both jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

"True Alice fashion," I said. "Always early."

"I'll go get it," Edward replied.

* * *

The party went off without a hitch. Jay had a blast tearing into the presents, and he loved the cake. Everyone seemed to have a really great time, especially Edward. He'd seemed so preoccupied for the first half hour or so after our guests arrived, but then he seemed to open up little by little. Every once in awhile I'd steal glances at him, just to see that perfect smile that he so rarely displayed. I knew that birthdays and holidays would be rough on him, so I made it my goal to make them all as special as possible, for him as much as for Jay. They both deserved some happiness after all they'd lost.

We'd bid all our family and friends goodbye, bathed a cake covered birthday boy, and put him, as well as Vanessa, down for naps, and cleaned up the remnants of the party, and all I wanted to do was sit down and relax for awhile. Edward sat on the couch next to me and took my hand in his. I looked over at him and smiled.

* * *

---EPOV---

"So," I said. "That was fun."

"Yeah, it was hu?" Bella replied.

We sat there, both quiet, for a long time. I was thinking about our kiss earlier, and trying to find the words to tell her what she meant to me, how she'd saved me. Each explanation I came up with just sounded more and more like a _Hallmark _card though.

"Thanks, Bella," I said finally.

"For what?" Bella asked; a puzzled look spread over her face.

"For bringing me back," I replied.

"What are you talking about, Edward?" she said, turning to face me now.

"You saved me Bella, in every way possible. I was losing myself in all the grief and the hurt. I was drowning in it, really," I explained. "You pulled me back up, showed me the way. You made me see that I hadn't lost everything."

"Okay," she said, cautiously. "Where are you headed with this Edward?"

"I guess I'm just trying to say that you make me feel alive again. Actually, it's more than that. You make me feel," I leaned closer and pressed my lips to hers.

She smiled that eye twinkling smile of hers as I broke the kiss. "I never thought I could feel for anyone else even a fraction of what I felt for Ang, but this-" I kissed her again. "Kissing you, holding you, just being with you Bella, I can see now that nothing is impossible. I still don't think that I'm quite ready for more yet, but I can see now that you are my future. You, Jay, and Vanessa are my life now."

She cupped my face in her soft hands, looking at me with tear filled eyes and brought her lips to mine once more.

"Thank you," she whispered against my lips.

I smiled, "Anytime."

* * *

Author's Notes- So, I can't apologize enough for the wait on this chapter. I had a really hard time with this one and I'm not totally sure why. We're getting close to the end now, though I'm not entirely sure how many more chapters there will be. I'm thinking at least 3. My beta, the ever lovely _museandpinksocks,_ is pushing for more like 5 though so we'll see. Thanks to anyone who voted for my one shot in the Twific Auto Erotica Challenge last month, I didn't win but it was great fun and the other entries were really good as well. For anyone that didn't get the chance to read it, go to my stories and it's the one called Goodbye. I do have plans to expand it into a full story so make sure you put me on author alert so you'll know when it goes up.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer**: **I do not own Twilight or the characters, only the story line.**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the wait kids, there's gonna be a longer note at the end so make sure you check that out.**

**

* * *

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Chapter 21

---EPOV---

"So when's the big day, Emmett?" I asked my brother.

"Well, she's supposedly got two weeks left, but they said that she could go anytime," he answered.

"Don't you just love the uncertainty of it?" Jasper quipped with a laugh.

We were sitting on Emmett's back deck, along with my father, visiting while Emmett manned the grill. The girls were inside preparing the rest of the food and trying to keep Rosalie off of her feet. Emmett had informed us the other day of her doctor's orders to take it easy, and her resistance to comply with said orders.

"She's so ready for it to be over with," Emmett said. "She's going stir crazy not having anything to do around here, even with Mom here helping out all the time."

Carlisle smiled, taking a big pull from his cigar. "I almost think your mother is more excited than you two are. With as much money as she's spent at Baby Gap in the last few months I almost could have paid off her new car."

As per usual, my mother stepped outside just in time to hear his comment. She whacked him lightly up the backside of his head and without missing a beat asked, "Are the chops about done, Em?"

The innocent expression she wore when Dad turned to face her was comical. We all laughed a bit at his expense before Emmett answered the question.

"About ten more minutes I think, Mom," he said, still smiling.

She turned and flitted back into the house.

"I'm gonna go check on Jay and Vanessa," I said, standing up.

"Whatever," Jasper said, looking at Emmett. "More than likely he wants to check on Bella."

"Yeah!" Emmett exclaimed, laughing boisterously. "I'm sure she's just fine, bro."

I shrugged them off, going inside anyway. I found Bella, as well as both of the children, in the living room. They were all standing in front of the television dancing along - ridiculously, might I add – to some preschooler program. I stood at the back of the room, watching in silence. Bella and Vanessa were singing along with the song, while Jay babbled happily. They were the perfect picture of a happy little family.

_My happy little family…_

I smiled at the thought. Bella and I, mostly me, still had yet to define our relationship. For the last four months, we'd continued on as before. Stealing kisses here and there, holding hands while we snuggled on the couch. I even took her out to a nice, romantic dinner and a movie on her birthday last month - without the kids.

It's not as if I didn't want more out of the relationship, at least that's what I keep telling myself. Every time I think that I'm ready to take that next step, to make it an official "relationship," I talk myself out of saying anything to her. While most of the time I think, _hell yes, I'm so ready,_ there's that small window of time when I think to myself, _what if I'm not? What if I hurt her?_ The constant battle with myself makes me crazy.

Bella shrieking my name broke me away from my thoughts.

"What?" I asked.

"How long have you been standing there?" she said, as she draped her arms around my neck.

"A few minutes," I laughed, kissing her lips softly. "It was entertaining. Do you always do this when I'm not around?"

She just smiled and shook her head, pressing her mouth to mine once again. Her lips parted and I felt her tongue flick against my bottom lip, silently asking me to open up to her. I did, and just as I was about to lose myself in her, Vanessa cried out.

"Mommy! Jay stinks!" she said, holding her nose for dramatic effect.

Bella laughed. "Okay, I'm coming."

"You don't have to-" I started to say.

"Shut up, Edward," she said with a grin. "I've got this one."

Bella walked over to the couch and grabbed the diaper bag, then went to grab Jay.

"Come on little man, lets clean you up for dinner," she said playfully.

To my surprise, he responded with one clear-cut, unmistakable, no chance he was trying to say something else, word.

"Mama."

Before I could even respond, I heard Rosalie calling from upstairs.

"Emmett!!" she yelled. I could hear the tension in her voice.

I headed for the stairs to see if there was something that I could do for Rosalie.

"Where is Emmett?" she gasped.

"He's still out by the grill," I said from just outside her bedroom door. "What's up?"

I noticed how she was sitting on the bed, holding her stomach, as soon as I walked in the door. The pained look on her face told me what was wrong.

"You're having contractions?" I asked. "Have you been timing them?"

"I was," she answered. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "They weren't really regular. I just figured it was more Braxton Hicks contractions, but I think my water just broke."

I walked over to the side of the bed and rubbed her back gently. "It's okay, it'll all be okay. I promise."

She nodded and wiped a few stray tears from her face.

"First things first," I said. "Start watching the clock and time your contractions. I'm going to get you a glass of water. Just sit back and try to relax a little."

I took the glass from her nightstand into the bathroom and filled it with cold water. I also grabbed her a couple of towels off of the rack. When I got back to her side, she'd at least stopped crying.

I laid one of the towels, folded in half, on Emmett's side of the bed and handed her the other one. "Here, you can use this one to clean up some. Do you have something comfortable to change into?"

She nodded. "My sweats are over there on the chair."

I grabbed the dry clothes for her. "I'm gonna go get Emmett now. If you can get changed, you can move to the other side of the bed where that towel is. It's dry at least. Then I'll go pull the car out front. Do you need to call the hospital or doctor or anything to let them know you'll be on your way in?"

"Yeah, I probably should," she said. "Thanks, Edward."

I nodded and smiled at my brother's wife before leaving the room.

Bella was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," I answered, caressing her arm gently. "She's having a baby."

"Oh!" Bella squealed. "Emmett's still out back."

I ran out the door, shouting my brother's name. He looked up from the grill with a confused look on his face.

"Where's the fire, Ed?" Emmett asked.

"Rosalie," I said, gasping. "Her water broke. Emmett you need to go help her get ready."

"But it's two weeks early!" he shouted. "I'm not ready."

I grabbed him by the shoulders, wanting nothing more than to slap some sense into him. He was just standing there, stuttering in disbelief, while his wife needed him

"Pull it together, Em," I said. "I'll drive you guys to the hospital, but you need to make sure that she has everything she needs."

"But…but I don't know what she needs!" he shouted.

"Calm down, Emmett," our father said. "You're not helping anyone by freaking out."

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath. "I can do this."

"That's right," I told him. "Go upstairs; make sure she has everything she needs, just ask her if you don't know. I'll pull the car out front."

"What can we do?" Alice asked.

"Well for now, you could just go ahead and eat, or at least feed the kids. I'm sure it'll be a little while before anything happens."

"Okay," she nodded. "But you'll call as soon as you know anything, right?"

"Of course, Alice," I said, reassuring her. "I'll call Jessica and let her know what's going on. That way you can drop the kids off with her when I call you to come down to the hospital."

The little quiver of her lip almost broke my resolve but she nodded her head in silent agreement. I cupped her face in my hands, lifting her chin so that she met my gaze.

"Alice, I promise I will call you before anything big happens. It could be hours,

and we don't all need to be there the entire time filling up the waiting room," I said.

"Okay," Alice whispered.

Bella stopped me as I was making my way to the garage. She wore a look of concern, but she smiled, trying to hide it.

"Edward," she said. "I can take the kids home so Alice can go with you. This is a family thing. I think she should be there."

"Bella, did you see my brother out there?" I asked. "Emmett is about to lose his shit. Rosalie is going to need someone that can keep her going. You've done this before and Alice hasn't."

"I know, but –" she started.

"Bella, please? We'll make sure Alice - and our parents for that matter - are there in time for the birth. I need to try to calm Emmett down and I need you to help Rosalie relax," I explained.

"Okay," she said. "Go get the car. I'll go make sure Emmett has everything."

"Thanks," I smiled and kissed her quickly before going outside.

Emmett was helping Rosalie down the stairs as I came back in the front door. My parents hugged them and wished them good luck. Alice was smiling through her tears. Jasper was sitting with the kids on the floor, keeping them occupied.

"I think we're ready," Bella said.

"Let's go then," Rosalie said with a laugh. "The sooner we get to the hospital, the sooner I can get some good drugs."

* * *

Rosalie's doctor was waiting for her when we arrived at the hospital. They got her checked in and settled into a room to be examined within minutes. It pays to have a big shot, popular doctor in the family sometimes. Emmett came out of the room to meet us. He was a nervous wreck - still.

"Bella, I'm going to take Emmett for a walk, try to get him to relax a little bit. Would you mind staying with Rose?" I said.

She nodded. "Of course."

"We won't be too long," I smiled and kissed her temple softly.

"Come on, Em; let's go to the gift shop downstairs."

Emmett followed me down the hall to the elevator without a word. "Are you gonna be okay, man?"

He let out a big sigh. "I think so. I just wasn't ready yet, ya know. I thought we still had a couple more weeks to be just us."

"Yeah, I get it," I replied. "But you need to pull your shit together, bro. She's gonna need you in there. You won't be doing any good passed out on a cot somewhere."

"You're right," he answered. "I know. I'll be okay though. It was just such a surprise."

I stopped and turned to look my brother in the face. "Emmett, it's gonna be fine. All of it. You're going to be such a great dad."

"Thanks," Emmett said, pulling me into a hug. "I think I needed to hear that. Now get off me before someone sees us. That was probably about a fag-factor five right there."

I punched him playfully in the side and started walking again. In the gift shop, he picked out a bouquet of pink roses for Rosalie and soft, plush, little teddy bear for the baby. Wanting to be surprised, they had never found out the baby's gender so he picked something neutral, not wanting to get the wrong thing.

We walked back to Rose's room, chatting quietly. He knocked on the door and Bella answered, saying it was okay to come in. She was coaching Rosalie through a seemingly bad contraction, holding her hand and breathing along with her. I stood there, breathless, just watching her. From the way she encouraged Rose and told her it would be okay, to the way she held her hand, gently rubbing the back of it. When it was over, she looked up and smiled at us and something hit me. She completely belongs here. Not just here at the hospital, but here in my life.

Bella belongs with me.

That tiny revelation was somehow not as surprising as it first seemed. I should have known it months ago.

_Maybe I did know it…_

* * *

I called my family to let them know it should be soon and they rushed to get there, making it just in time. About twenty minutes after they arrived, a nurse walked into the waiting room. Carlisle smiled and greeted her by name.

"Rosalie and the baby are doing fine," she announced, smiling. "We're getting ready to move her to her new room and then you'll be able to see her."

"Is it a boy or girl?" Mom asked, excitedly.

"Emmett said not to tell you," the nurse said with a laugh. "I'll let you know when you can go in."

"Thank you, Emily," Carlisle said with a grin.

After a few more minutes of waiting, Emily came back to show us to Rosalie's room. She stopped outside the door and looked at my father.

"Normally, we would only allow two to three visitors at a time, but since it's you Carlisle, I'll bend the rules a little," she said. "But only for a short time. Rose needs to get some rest."

"Of course, Emily. Thanks again," Carlisle said as he opened the door.

Rosalie looked up, smiling, and waved us in. Emmett was sitting at the foot of her bed holding the baby.

Jasper leaned over to whisper to me. "That baby looks really tiny compared to him."

Alice reached over and smacked him playfully in the gut. "So," she said. "I'm dying to know here! What is it, guys? Boy or girl?"

Emmett stood up carefully, and handed the baby to our sister. She looked at him, a little puzzled, but took the baby in her arms. She cooed and smiled for a minute before looking back up at Emmett expectantly.

"Look under the blanket, Ali," he laughed.

Alice folded the blanket back, revealing the baby's clothes-a pink and white sleeper.

"Oh! A girl!" she whispered. "And she's just so precious."

"And what is her name?" Esme asked, taking the baby from Alice.

"Emelie Rose," Rosalie said, proudly.

My family all took their turns holding Emelie, all the while discussing her weight and other statistics. After we'd all had a turn, Rosalie looked at Bella who was standing quietly in the corner.

"Would you like to hold her Bella?" she asked.

"May I?" Bella replied, softly.

"Well, of course," Emmett said.

I watched, transfixed as Bella sat in the chair next to the bed and Emmett handed her the baby gently. Her face lit up as she gazed into Emelie's pretty blue eyes. Bella smiled and whispered to her, and rocked her slowly. The sight melted me, and at that moment I came to realize fully that this was what I wanted. This is the future that I want for us.

"Bella," I said, nervously. She looked up at me with her beautiful smile and if there had still been any shred of doubt before, it was erased then. "Can I talk to you out in the hall for a minute?"

She nodded and handed Emelie back to my mother, thanking Rose before following me out the door.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I think I just figured something out and I wanted to tell you," I replied, taking her hands in mine, intertwining our fingers.

"Okay," she laughed. "What is it?"

"Well, it's just that, damn…" I started. "I know what I want to say, I just don't know how to say it."

I took a deep breath and she laughed at me. Looking into her eyes, I laughed a little too. "Okay, here it is. I'm ready, Bella. I want more. I never expected to have with anyone else even a fraction of the love that Angela and I shared, and I will always love her. But everything that has happened in the last ten months has brought me closer to you, and I think that this is where I belong. I want us to be together; you, me, Vanessa, and Jay. And someday, I think I want all of this too."

Bella started to interrupt but I stopped her, placing my finger to her lips. "I have one more thing to say, okay."

She nodded and I continued. "Bella, I love you."

* * *

**Author's Note: Once again sorry for the wait on this chapter. Real life totally kicked my ass last month when I lost my grandma, who was also my baby sitter. So it's taken a bit of adjustment to get used to our new routines every day. I also wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to be kind of on hiatus for a bit. Yes, I'm still planning a few more chapters, but this close to the end I need to take this story out on a high note and I'm just not in that place yet. I'm getting there though, I promise. I wont be too long. I gotta give props to my 2 best girls-Museandpinksocks & garbageandkneehighs. Thank you guys, I love you tons! Make sure you guys have these two girls on alert, both of their stories should be updating soon and they both rock hard. Both of them are in my favs too if you need the links. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's notes:** Hey Guys! Surprise! I know it's been awhile, but thanks for sticking by me while I worked through my shit. This chapter is pretty short, I know, and I'm sorry. I'm still getting back into the swing of things, but I honestly think this chapter says all that it needs to.

**Chapter 22**

-BPOV-

I shook my head. "Wait. What?"

Edward laughed, "I said, I love you."

"That's what I thought you said," I smiled. "I just…wow."

He looked at me; head tilted to the side a little bit. "Really? Wow? That's all you've got?"

I took a step closer and wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling up at him. "What more did you expect, Edward?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Maybe tears, or passionate kisses… something of that nature. You know, like in the movies?"

"Well," I whispered. "Let's try this again, maybe I can get it right this time."

Edward smiled at me, his green eyes sparkling with emotion. "Bella Swan, I love you."

I pressed my lips to his gently. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My lips parted slightly and his tongue darted out to meet mine. When I finally pulled away, breathless, I smiled up at him again. "I love you too, Edward Cullen."

"Well it's about damn time!" Alice said behind me. "I was starting to think you two would never figure that out."

"Alice," Edward said, surprised. "I uh, I didn't see you there."

She laughed at her brother's sudden bout of bashfulness. "I've only been here a moment, long enough to see the finale. We're all talking about going out for drinks. I wanted to invite you guys."

Edward grasped my hand as I turned around. "That sounds good to me. Edward?"

"We probably should get going and let Rosalie get some rest anyway," he nodded. "Okay. Where to then, Ali?"

"Where else, Edward?" Alice replied. "We'll meet you guys there."

The rest of October, as well as November, went by in a flash. I'd introduced Edward and Jay to my parents, who both took to them better than I could have ever expected. So much, that when they take Vanessa for a weekend, they take Jay as well. Thanksgiving with his family had been a huge affair, with more food than I'd ever seen on one table before. Edward and I continued to grow into our new relationship, both of us learning together how to move forward. By December Edward had taken to sleeping over at my house… quite often.

"You know, I think you spend more time here than you do at Alice's house nowadays," I said one night, as we climbed into bed. "Maybe you should just move in completely."

"Actually that is something I've been wanting to talk to you about," he replied. "There's a house, not too far from my parents, that I was thinking about buying."

"Why would you need to talk to me about buying a house, Edward?" I asked. "You're the one who has to live in it."

"Well, that's the thing," he answered, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "It's sort of a big house. Too big for just Jay and I. But I do really love it. It's an older farm style home, white. The kitchen is amazing, the bedrooms are fairly decent sized, and you should see the covered front porch. It's got a huge back yard too…"

I just stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"Of course I am," he said, before kissing me softly.

"You want to buy a house and you want me to move into it with you?" I still couldn't believe what he was saying. This was just so unlike him.

He sat up and turned toward me, taking my hands in his. "Look, I know that this seems soon, and you can say no if you want to. I would honestly understand if you did, but I know that this is what I want. I told you that at the hospital. Bella, I want to share my life with you."

"Edward, I don't know," I sighed.

"Okay, just think about it for now. We can talk about it and decide in a few weeks, after Christmas is over with. Will you at least go look at it with me tomorrow, though? I made the appointment over a week ago," he answered.

I nodded and kissed him again.

The next morning we got up and had a nice breakfast with the kids before packing them into his car and meeting up with his realtor. Edward turned down a long drive and I had to do a double take when I saw the house. It was huge! I looked over at him just in time to see a smile creep along his lips.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"Edward, don't you think it's a little big?" I replied.

He shook his head and smiled, removing Jay from the back seat. I helped Vanessa out and we all walked up onto the covered front porch of the house. A black sedan parked next to us a moment later and a young looking man got out and walked over to meet us.

"Riley, good to see you," Edward said, shaking the man's hand.

"Always good to see you, Mr. Cullen. This must be your wife?" Riley answered.

I almost choked. "Hello."

"No, Riley" Edward chuckled. "Bella is my girlfriend, not my wife."

"Sorry about that," Riley replied. "Would you like to take a look inside?"

Edward nodded and I followed behind him as we walked into the foyer. There was a small bathroom and a closet in the back corner of the room and directly to the right was the living room. It had a set of French doors leading back out to the porch, and big windows. The room was very spacious with high ceilings. Riley led us through the room and into the dining room at the back of the house. It too had a set of French doors, which led to the back deck. The kitchen was huge with an island, lots of counter space and cabinets, and even a little breakfast nook. Riley showed us the family room, utility room, and garage entrance before leading us up the stairs where we found three big bedrooms, a loft, another family room and a bathroom. The house was spectacular and I couldn't deny that I liked it. Edward's love for the house was apparent in the look on his face. He looked into each new room with awe and wonder and I knew he was already planning and decorating in his head.

"So?" Edward whispered to me as we walked around the back of the house to see the back yard. "What do you really think?"

"I do like it," I smiled at him. "It's beautiful, and this yard is huge. The kids would love it, I'm sure."

"I'm sensing a but here. What is it?" he asked.

I laughed. "I just want to be sure that you're ready for all of this. This is a huge step, Edward."

He cupped my chin gently with his hand and looked into my eyes. "I love you, Bella, and this is what I want. I want to build a playhouse back here for the kids and one of those jungle gym swing sets. I want to sit on the porch with you at night and watch the sun set. I want to have big family barbeques, birthday parties, holiday dinners… all of it, Bella. You're it for me."

He wiped a tear off my cheek and I smiled as he leaned in the kiss me gently. "I love you too, Edward. I want all those things as well. Lets do it."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, nodding.

"I love you," he whispered again, before turning to Riley. "We'd like to make an offer."

**End Notes:** As always I have to thank my beautiful Muse, if it weren't for her, we never would have gotten this far. And speaking of how far we've gotten, I'm thinking that there will be 3 more chapters and probably an epilogue as well. The next chapter is already under way so I'm hoping there won't be a long wait on it too.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Notes:** What's this? Two updates in one week? How can this be? Well, aside from the fact that I had a sudden burst of ambitious inspiration, I kind of wanted to thank everyone who's still following this story for sticking around while I worked out my RL issues. So instead of waiting a week as I normally would, you get it today. Thank you all, you guys rock my world. To my Muse, I love you more than I can ever say. I'd be lost without you, and some of the events of this chapter (*wink, wink* you know which ones) are my very special treat for you.

**Chapter 23**

-EPOV-

The bank accepted our offer on the house and we were just waiting to close on it. It would be at least a month before we signed the papers but I couldn't help being excited. I didn't really have much in the way of belongings with me at Alice's, just what Jay and I had accumulated in the last year, but I started packing it up anyway. We also did a lot of packing at Bella's house. She was less than thrilled about the moving part of buying the house, but since she refused to let me hire a moving company for her, I helped her out with most of it. We decided to donate the furniture I had put up in storage and use the things from her house until it was time to pick out new stuff, which we agreed to do together.

A few days after we started the paperwork on the house, Bella suggested we invite James and his girlfriend over for dinner. She wanted to let him know that we would be moving in together and give him and me a chance to "get to know each other." It actually went pretty well. At first, I had to force myself to forget about the terrible things he'd said and done to her in the past, but once I managed that, we seemed to get along all right. He informed us that they too were looking to buy a bigger house, as he'd just proposed to Victoria. All in all, the afternoon went off without a hitch. I was glad to see Bella getting along with him, not only for Vanessa's sake, but for hers as well. I had been a little afraid of complications between them arising due to her relationship with me, but as it turned out my fears were completely unfounded.

Christmas was only three weeks away, and I had yet to buy any gifts. In years past, Angela did all of our Christmas shopping. I was always just as surprised at the gifts I gave as the people receiving them. I was just never much of a shopper. Bella and I had agreed to keep it simple, since we would be moving soon anyway, but as I found myself roaming the isles of the toy store, I couldn't seem to resist buying all the newest toys for our children.

Our children…

That phrase had such a ring to it. I knew I'd never replace James as Vanessa's father, but I did tend to think of her as my own. The same way that Bella did with Jay. In a way, I was glad that he'd been so young when we'd lost Ang. He won't have to carry the memory of her for the rest of his life, knowing that she'll never come back. While I'd never hide from him the fact that Bella is not actually his mother, I was relieved that she'd stepped up to that plate so willingly, and completely on her own, to fill that void in his young life. I couldn't have asked for a better stand-in for his own mother.

I heard my cell phone ring from my pocket and the familiar tone brought a smile to my face.

"Hello, beautiful," I said, answering it.

"Edward," she said with a giggle. "I thought you were meeting us for dinner?"

"What time is it? I haven't even picked up Jay yet," I replied, looking down at my watch. "Damn, I didn't even realize how late it was getting."

"Don't worry, I got him when I picked up Vanessa," she answered. "Where are you anyway?"

"Oh, I was just doing a little bit of shopping," I said. "I'm actually at the checkout right now."

"You didn't go overboard did you?" she asked.

"No, of course not," I said nervously.

"The total comes to two hundred, eighty four dollars and nineteen cents," the cashier said, a little more loudly than was quite necessary.

Bella all but shrieked into the phone. "You spent almost three hundred dollars! Edward, what the hell did you buy? We agreed—"

I ran my credit card and forced a smile at the girl behind the counter before taking my things and heading for the car. "I know we agreed, love, but I honestly couldn't resist."

"Oh, Edward," Bella laughed. "I should have known you couldn't stick to keeping it simple."

"This isn't all stuff for our kids, Bella," I said defensively. "I got Emelie's gifts as well."

That one really got her. After she finished laughing, she answered with "I think you are more excited for Christmas than the kids ever will be, Edward."

"You're probably right," I said with a laugh. "I'm getting into the car now; I'll meet you guys at Alice's in a few minutes okay?"

"Okay," she said. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Baby, wake up," I whispered. "It's Christmas."

Bella groaned and rolled over, trying unsuccessfully to ignore me.

"Come on, love, let's go have a cup of coffee before all the kids wake up and madness ensues," I said, rubbing her back gently.

"What time is it?" Bella asked as her eyes fluttered open.

"Seven," I answered simply.

Bella groaned again and sat up on the bed. We'd stayed the night at my parents' house- along with my brothers and sisters- as was tradition in our family. My mom still liked to have us all together to open gifts and have breakfast as a family.

I stood up and pulled Bella into my arms as she got up. "Good morning."

She stepped up onto her toes and kissed me, soft and gentle as always. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you," I said, smiling. "Come on, the coffee is ready, I can smell it from here."

We walked hand in hand down the stairs and into my mother's kitchen, where we were greeted by my sleepy eyed sister.

"Good morning, Ali," I said, ruffling her hair a little bit.

"Don't," she whined, swatting at my arm playfully.

"Good morning, children," my father said as he walked into the room. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Daddy," Alice said as she embraced our father tightly.

"Where is everyone else?" he asked, looking around.

"Mom's taking pictures of the tree. Emmett and Rosalie are feeding and changing Emelie, and Jasper is in the shower," Alice answered. "And I'm assuming Edward has yet to wake his kids up."

"I wanted my coffee before all the paper shredding and shrieking," I laughed.

Bella poured two cups of coffee and handed one to me. I smiled and thanked her before taking a sip of the black, steamy goodness. Esme walked in then and looked around the room.

"Lose something, Mom?" I asked.

"Where are my grandchildren?" she answered. "I want to take their picture in front of the tree."

"They're still upstairs," Alice replied.

"Well go and get them," mom said. "It's time."

Bella laughed and looked up at me. "Okay, now I know where you get it from."

"She loves Christmas," I shrugged.

"I see that," Bella said. "You finish your coffee; I'll go up and get the kids."

"Are you sure? I could help," I said.

She kissed my cheek, "No, it's fine. I got it."

Alice and my father shared a glance as Bella walked out and then both turned back to me. My sister wore a smug expression on her face.

"What?" I asked.

My dad just shook his head. "Nothing."

"You two are just so cute, Edward," Alice replied.

"Come on everyone, out into the living room now," my mom said, saving me.

Emmett came down the stairs carrying his daughter, with Rose and Jasper following right behind him. He set the baby down in her bouncy seat in front of the tree, as per our mom's orders and stepped aside. The process was repeated a moment later when Bella came down with Jay and Vanessa. My mom not only took pictures of all three children separately, but all three together as well.

"I think you got it covered, mom," Emmett said. "Can we stop with the photographic assault now and let them open their gifts?"

"It's not assault," she huffed as she picked up Emelie. "Is it, precious?"

"Whatever you say," Emmett replied, putting his arm around her shoulder.

"You can't blame me for wanting lots of photos of my grandbabies," she said, defending herself. "Come on now, everyone sit down."

Mom handed Rosalie the baby and then proceeded to play "Santa" and hand out gifts to everyone. She of course stopped to take plenty of pictures in between, not wanting to miss anything. Emmett began opening the baby's presents, making sure to hold up each one in front of her as if he expected her to get excited or clap her hands.

"She's not very good at this present stuff yet," he said.

"She's only two months old, Em," Rosalie said, laughing. "She'll be more into next year I'm sure."

Emmett looked from her to Jay, who was half buried in wrapping paper scraps and had bows stuck all over himself, and laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."

We had to stop and clean up paper three times before the kids were finished opening their hordes. I noticed that I wasn't the only one not to follow the "keep it small" rule. Bella looked up at me sheepishly and shrugged as Jay and Vanessa opened box after box.

"Just think," she said. "We get to do this all over again tonight with my parents.

"We're going to need a whole truck just for the things they've gotten here," I said, kissing her cheek.

Once the tree was completely devoid of all the glittering packages, my mother, Alice, and Rosalie excused themselves to go start breakfast. Emmett took a nap with Emelie in a lounge chair, while Jasper stretched out on the couch. Jay and Vanessa had an impromptu tea party, using the new set Alice had bought for her, with Grandpa Carlisle. Bella and I watched for a few minutes, laughing now and then when my dad would pretend to eat the plastic muffins or hold his pinky out daintily as he sipped his tea.

"I'm going to go get dressed," Bella whispered.

"I'll come with you," I said, smiling. "I have something for you upstairs anyway.

"What?" she asked. "Something else? What is it?"

"Come on," I said, pulling her to her feet. "I'll show you."

She followed me up the stairs and sat on the corner of the bed, closing her eyes and putting her hands out in front of her. "Let me have it."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, caressing her cheek with one hand while the other tangled into her hair. She sneaked one hand up the front of my shirt, lightly stoking the muscles of my chest. Her lips parted a little and my tongue met hers anxiously, the gentle give and take increasing into a sense of urgency and need. She scooted back further onto the bed and I climbed up, following her. With shaky hands she lifted my shirt up over my head and threw it to the floor. I smiled lovingly at her and watched her nervousness dissipate. Bella pushed me down on the bed and moved to straddle my lap as she kissed a soft trail from my ear, down my neck, nipping occasionally at my skin, and back up to my lips.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" I asked breathlessly.

Although we'd come close a few times, Bella and I hadn't yet made love. I wasn't sure if she wanted our first time to be at my parents' house.

"Are the kids okay with your dad?" she asked in between kisses.

I gulped as she lightly ran her fingernails down my chest and stomach and nodded.

"Then yes, I think I do," she whispered, tilting her hips ever so slightly, grinding against me.

My eyes rolled back for a second as I fought the urge to thrust back. I put my hands gently on her hips, holding her there for a moment before sitting up. She looked at me questioningly and I nodded to the open door.

"Oh, right," she said, sliding herself off of my lap.

Bella strutted across the room and shut the door, locking it. She reached up and removed the hair tie holding back her long locks and shook out her hair. I sat and watched, transfixed, as she slowly pulled the camisole pajama top up and over her head, dropping it next to the bed before crawling back up and into my lap once again.

"I love you," she whispered.

I wrapped my arms around her, nuzzling my face into her neck. "And I love you."

He hands ghosted up and down my spine, making every nerve in my body tingle. Her touch, as light as it was, caused my whole body to react. I brushed my knuckles slowly up and down her ribs and waist as I kissed my way from her neck, up the line of her jaw to her ear, sucking lightly on the lobe for a brief moment. He eye lids fluttered as she sighed, arching her back and pressing her chest tightly against mine. I reached around her back to unclasp her bra, needing to feel the heat of her skin against my own. I traced the line of one strap with my finger, and gently pulled it down over her shoulder, repeating the process again on the other side, before completely removing it. Bella looked up at me, her eyes full of love and passion, and pressed her lips to mine. The intensity of the kiss grew quickly as rational thought left us and lustful need took over. I shivered as I felt her nails running down my back. She ground her hips again, brushing her warm center against my stiff and aching cock. Unable to control my own reactions to her anymore, I bucked up into her. I ran my fingers around the top edge of her lounge pants, from her hips around to her back, causing her to tremble lightly. I plunged down inside them, gripping her ass cheeks in my palms and pulling her even tighter against me as my hips bucked again.

Bella pushed softly on my shoulders, silently telling me to lie down. She dragged her fingers down my chest and stomach again, following the invisible trail with light kisses and nips.

"These need to go," she whispered, tugging on the drawstring of my pants.

I rolled us over quickly and pulled off my pants and boxers with stealth like moves and she laughed. I cupped her cheek with my hand and leaned down to kiss her lips.

"I think yours need to go as well," I said.

Not waiting for a response, I pushed her pants down her hips and over her thighs, tossing them out of my way when they were off. I took in the glory of her naked body, the gentle curves and softness, her pale, ivory skin, all of her took my breath away. My hand grazed up her thigh and hip, almost of its own volition, up to her pert and perky breast. Palming and massaging it before kissing the tip of her nipple, I swirled my tongue slowly around it, sucking it into my mouth. Her back arched as she shivered with pleasure and a tiny moan escaped her lips. I moved on to her other breast, paying it the same attention as the first. My hand was on her stomach, thumb rubbing lazy circles around her belly button. She rubbed her thighs together, searching for some sort of friction to ease the ache of longing. I dragged my hand down slowly, grazing the outer edge of her already wet entrance. I slipped a finger inside of her, pumping a few times before adding another. Her body writhed with the excitement and I watched in amazement as she closed her eyes and let the feeling take her over. I continued to pump my fingers in a slow pace in and out of her, rubbing her clit gently with my thumb, until I felt her walls start to tighten and the beginning of her impending release.

I removed my fingers, leaving her on the edge of her climax. She whined at the sudden emptiness but sat up and straddled me. She hovered just above the tip of my cock and took it in her hand, stroking up and down my length as she teased her entrance with it. I sighed heavily, aching to be inside of her, needing that ultimate connection to her. Sensing my longing, she released her grip on me and slid herself down onto my throbbing dick, rolling her hips in a slow, deep motion. I arched my hips up, following the pace she set. My hand ran up her back and over her shoulders, pulling her down to me. I kissed her, long and hard. Our breathing became more and more ragged as she sped up her pace. My every thrust met hers with perfect timing. She sat up again, leaning back slightly, allowing me to get even deeper inside of her with each and every plunge. Her body began to quake and I felt her inner walls constricting again, my own release was not too far off. I sat up then too, wrapping her ankles around my waist. I pumped in and out of her, faster and faster until she closed around me. Her entire body shuddered with the force of her release, in effect causing my own climax. We both stilled, my forehead resting against hers, huffing and puffing, until we caught our breath again.

"Wow," she whispered.

I nodded and kissed her softly. "You know that wasn't what I meant when I said I had something upstairs for you."

"No?" she asked. "It was still perfect regardless."

"Indeed," I whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too, Edward," she answered, stroking my cheek with her hand.

**E/N: ** So who wants to guess what the gift is? Tell me what you think in the reviews.


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